What a Girl Means When She Says…

On December 31, 2010 by Shark

Mental Note to Self: Walk slow during winter. It looks very un-suave to slip in front of a girl. If you can’t laugh off a situation like this, consider Seppuku

 

“How Do I look?”
I am subconsciously shit testing

“I’m not looking for a relationship right now”
I’m not looking for you right now, and I probably never will

“I’m practically a guy”
I like to pretend to be into basketball and stuff so I seem cooler than other girls

I’m not like other girls, I hate drama
Alcoholics rarely admit they have a problem, why should I?

“I was dumb when I was young”
I’m an ex slut searching for redemption

“I want flowers”
Submit to me.

Are you seeing anyone right now?
I would like to submit an application. hehe.

“I need to know where this is going”
I would like for us to become serious

“I don’t care where this is going, I just need to know for myself.”
I don’t want to be the one who brings up us being exclusive

“I’m not easy”
I’m very easy

“Hey I’m sorry to bother you but…”
I know you have nothing better to do so…

“I’m happy being single”
I’m happy not being with you

“I’m not upset”
I’m very upset

“We need to talk”
I need to talk, you need to listen.

“I want you to open up to me”
I need to know how you feel so I know whether or not to dump you

You’re a Jerk
I hate that I Love you

“I don’t want to ruin our friendship”
You will never, ever, ever, see me naked.


“Someone was flirting with me”

Be Jealous. Please.

Ew…
I want you to feel bad about this, if I make it seem disgusting and unattractive, I know you’ll feel bad.

“I have to much on my plate to get into a relationship right now”
You are not attractive enough for me to give up anything in my life, not even mini-golf.

“I’ll think about it”
No.

“Maybe later”
No.

“Let’s see how things go”
No.

“I’m confused, give me some time”
No.

“No.”
Yes.

“Never.”
In a little while.

“I can’t do this”
But I will anyways.

“I know better than to do this”
But I’m going to do it anyways.

 

8 Responses to “What a Girl Means When She Says…”

  • Anonymous

    lmfaooo moho you are a genius

  • I’m actually surprised at the “I can’t do this” translation.

    I’m pretty sure I was getting rejected the last time a woman said that to me.

    We were due to meet up and she sent me a “I can’t do this” text about two hours beforehand and then wouldn’t answer her phone when I called.

    I responded with a kind of “Its OK if you don’t want to see me. I won’t bother you again” text.

    I knew NOTHING about game at the time so I showed her my Beta Male cards and begged her not to dump me.

    Yeah…like that ever worked for anyone. LOL.

    Jesus. I can laugh about it now, but it really wasn’t funny at the time.

    Did I snatch defeat from the jaws of victory?

    It doesn’t bear thinking about. *shakes head*

  • Nah you’re right, Most of this stuff is highly contextualized, i was referring to when a girl says “I can’t do this” as a shyt test and proceeds to complain about being incompatible.

    And half of this stuff was meant as more of a kind of joke, “No” doesn’t actually always translate as “yes.”

  • Ridwan

    just stubled across this a few minuites ago and fukk mee! this sht is AMAZING!

  • StrikeforceMorituri

    Holy shit this is funny, only because it’s true.

  • John

    “I’ll think about it”
    No.

    “Maybe later”
    No.

    “No.”
    Yes.

    “Never.”
    In a little while.

    I laughed out loud at this. So fucking true.

  • Alex

    “I want you to open up to me”
    I need to know how you feel so I know whether or not to dump you
    —————————

    The “how you feel” means if they will start talking about all his feelings, become beta, therefore getting dumped?

    Overtly talking about how you feel for her? Thus building rapport giving her a comfortable feeling with you?

    Or should you just play amused mistery?

    Or even answering some of the things you said like “If you don’t get fat I will always love you” or something like that?

  • alanna

    additional:

    “nothing”
    something is wrong

    “im fine”
    im not fine

    “leave me alone”
    come after me, pursue me

    “its okay”
    its not ok at all

    “sure, go ahead”
    dont do it

    “i hate you”
    i love you but you dont see that

    “give me 5minutes to be ready”
    30 mins or an hour

    “its not you,its me”
    yes, its you, i dont like you anymore

    “im not upset”
    im very,very upset and you’re so stupid you dont notice

    if a girl suddenly becomes quiet or is silent, its dangerous!
    a. over thinking
    b. about to blow up
    c. upset / mad /angry
    d. crying inside / sad
    e. all of the above!

    *im a girl! ^_^

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