Can’t get over Oneitis?

On March 4, 2011 by Shark

Reader Comments:

“Shark, it’s been 6 months since me and my ex broke up. I have a huge case of Oneitis, I can’t get over her despite the fact that I’ve slept with multiple other women. Help!!!!”


Oneitis…the black arcades of horror. The hedonic pleasures gained from sluts and cougars do little to fully cure Oneitis. They may soothe its symptoms and nourish your ego, but the roots of your Oneitis will still be there. To fully understand why, we need to take a closer look at one of the reasons why psychological dependency occurs.

Cognitive dissonance is a simple theory which states that your mind feels uncomfortable when it harbors conflicting thoughts simultaneously. As a result, whenever you treat someone badly, your minds justify the action by assuming you dislike the person. When you treat someone well, it rationalizes that you must like the person. Our actions then, are not always the RESULTS of our thoughts; the two are in dynamic relation to each other.


Get over your ex


Post-break up if we beg, cry, and bask in our grief; our mind rationalizes it by assuming we must have REALLY liked the girl. If we stalk the girl in question on face book, call her a shitload of times, or leave monologues via texts, it assumes that we were in “love.”

During the relationship if we acted needy or desperate, our mind assumes we must really need her. If we forgive her for cheating and low interest, our mind rationalizes that she must be worth our own self-dignity.

In other words, desperate behavior both during a relationship and post-break up causes us to ego-invest ourselves into our girlfriends. Our minds place high value on that which we CHASE after.

Following this train of thought we can assume that sluts won’t cure Oneitis. You need a girl who challenges your game, who makes it hard for you. If you spend your time chasing washed up tail with vaginas the size of the Grand Canyon, you’re never going to get over your Oneitis.

Guys who have other passions besides their girlfriends are naturally more immune to Oneitis because they are ego-invested into other things in life besides a single over-rated vagina.

Guys who have no game are naturally more susceptible to Oneitis because they engage in super desperate behavior to save the one vagina they have access to; propagating their own Oneitises post-break up.


5 Responses to “Can’t get over Oneitis?”

  • Al

    This is gold. Simple, concise and informative.

  • Jet Tibet

    A girlfriend can play an authentic supporting role to a beta-ish guy under 25.

    He probably feels that is ex really understood him and misses having someone who he feels comfortable speaking with.

    He’ll get over it eventually either by getting another “girlfriend” or by developing his independence.

  • Tuna

    Hey Shark, “Hotel California” by The Eagles, I know realize, is about the ultimate case of Oneitis. I think that would be a good way to explain it.

  • Cat

    Excellent post….

    You don’t have to be Beta to get Oneitis…it happened to Mystery…nearly sent him mental! So there you go!

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