Dealing with a flirtatious girlfriend

On April 17, 2011 by Shark

The title is a misnomer, all girlfriends will flirt with other guys, I should’ve called it “dealing with women.” Jealousy is an inevitable aspect of any amorous relationship, it is an integral part of attraction and a nuclear emotion that most guys have great difficulty controlling. I can’t tell a guy reading my blog “don’t be jealous, it’s a beta male trait” and expect to cure him of envious cancroids overnight, but I think understanding WHY your girlfriend is compelled to do so will help you understand them better / learn the proper way to respond.

99% of guys will incorrectly assume that if their girlfriend is flirting with another guy, it’s because she’s interested in him sexually and would deviate from her own morals if seduced a bit more. Combine this with some well practiced espionage skills and a generation of men who take pride in being moral arbiters for women, and you have what women call “a fucking crazy boyfriend.”

If you are a beta, and your girlfriend is flirting with another guy, it’s probably because she’s interested in him. The next time you guys are making love and she has her eyes closed, she’s probably imagining him instead of you.

If you are a beta and dating a girl with a past record that would give competition to most hookers and porn artists, then your girlfriend is probably flirting with another guy because she’s interested in him.

If your girlfriend’s vagina hangs like the sleeves of a wizard’s robe, then you have a good reason to be vigilant as she flirts with another guy.

All this being said, what would be the proper response to the above scenarios? Not throwing a piss fit and making yourself look like a bitch basket. The only person to blame is you, for choosing a cunt to be your girlfriend. Get out of your relationship, and beat yourself with a froggy stick for the next 3 weeks. After going to the hospital with toad welts all across your body, return home and keep the frog stick in your pocket. Every time you consider being in an exclusive relationship with a slut, take out the froggy stick and beat the shit out of yourself again. Eventually, your body will be conditioned to preventing any thoughts about going out with sluts and harlots.

Yes, your girlfriend will flirt with other guys. But if you’re going out with a girl who is excessively promiscuous or has a record of cheating, then the answer is not yelling at her or trying to convince her what she’s doing is wrong. Hopeful thinking will NOT work, you have chosen the wrong relationship to be in and the only possible path to redemption lies in dumping her with silent vindictiveness and choosing a better mate next time.

No fights, no arguments, no long texts, no monologues, no dialogues, no break up sex, nothing. “This relationship isn’t for me,” and you’re done.


If you are an Alpha (you don’t have to be a super Alpha, just not a giant vagina), shit gets more complicated. Your girlfriend can be flirting with other guys for a multitude of other reasons. All of them come from her need to maximize rapport.

**Read the articles linked above or you won’t understand what I’m about to say.

Flirting with other guys is an easy way to solve her problem for rapport. The two possible results are
A. She gets attention from other guys
B. You get jealous and she gets more attention from you

It is the essence of female manipulation and if you’ll take a second to realize, it is a subconscious technique, ingrained into their minds. No woman thinks “I need to flirt with another guy to fulfill my biological need for attention,” they just do. Unlike men who have to consciously utilize game (and still suffer from reductive understanding), women have an innate ability to leverage sexual dynamics.

Even if a girl is NOT interested in another guy or would NEVER consider cheating on her boyfriend, she would STILL be inclined to flirt with other guys because it gives her MORE MALE ATTENTION without making her suffer from any ethical repercussions.

If you’ve been following me thus far, then the final revelation will make everything clear for you. If you act jealous when your girlfriend flirts with other guys, then you REINFORCE her need to flirt with other guys. If she is able to get MORE ATTENTION from you (yes, yelling and fighting is a form of attention. In her eyes, it reminds her that you are desperate for her) then she will only TEMPORARILY stop engaging in promiscuous behavior, and then start again when she feels the need for a chemical rush.




21 Responses to “Dealing with a flirtatious girlfriend”

  • P.

    complicated stuff so clearly explained.

  • animal

    Solid gold. Thanks shark, I was just gonna ask you to do an article on this

  • J-Man

    Hey Shark, what does it really mean when a girl says that a certain guy isn’t “her type?”

  • GP

    Congratulations Shark ! I have this concept in my mind but you explain in a BEAUTIFUL lines!

  • StrikeforceMorituri

    Shark as usual you outline everything in an easy to understand format.

    @J-Man I wouldn’t put too much thought into whatever that girl said as I’ve learned that women may say that a guy isn’t their type, but they’ll fuck him anyway.

  • Thye Specimen

    I dunno, I think not reacting when a woman does it in your presence looks weak. I’m not saying you need to go apeshit on her right then and there, but at some point you need to put the fear of god in her, by withdrawing your attention and affection, and being ready to immediately walk (no bluffs allowed here) over it.

    Otherwise, who cares if your girl flirts with some orbiter in your absence. It simply gives you more time to hang with your chick(s) on the side and takes away her moral high ground if she ever catches you.

  • @ Specimen

    Yes, it’s absolutely necessary to draw lines. If my girlfriend wanted to hang out with her ex for Christmas, she would never hear from me again.

    However, if you preach that it’s ok to draw lines, then most guys will rationalize jealous behavior by thinking “she’s gone to far.” It’s a slippery slope. I’d rather most guys adopted an attitude of mastery, and at one point if their girlfriend DOES cross a line then they either end it or handle it smoothly.

  • Zolmaster

    Hey Shark,

    Your posts are hilarious (and educational). Do you have a twitter account that we can follow?

  • Jack George

    Haha, this is brilliant and sums everything my relationship has been about lately. She was flirting with my best friend. Unfortunately I fell in to the trap of large dialogues and break up sex etc..
    No longer. I am the master of this now.
    Thanks Shark

  • JL

    @ Shark

    Can a girlfriend be loving, loyal, put out whenever i ask for, do everything i say, and also ride the CC on the side?

    For example, lets say she meets a guy at work and there’s a rumor that he’s hung like a t-rex. Will the GF do a one night stand with t-rex, not feel bad about it, and continue to invest in the relationship as before (without growing distant and all the obvious shit w emotional cheating)?

    I understand and apply every fukin concept you write about, but im always having stupid thoughts about her fucking a 9 inch dick on the side. This is despite me being well above “average”, and has more to do with the fact that she can’t orgasm thru penetration alone and needs clit stimulation.

    Keep up the good reads brother, u had a huge impact on my life thanks

  • I love my gf but i hear from her friends (that like me) that she is flirting alot with other dudes… but when i ask ger bout it she denies!!!

    What do i do to make her quit flirting if she loves me like she says she does

  • Eon

    My gf and I have been together for a year and a half, We meet through friends, so we have a group of people we both hang out with. But.. Lately I have noticed she is very flirtatious, and a little deviant under the sheets. She’s a straight A student and is very smart, and I can tell she really likes me if
    not loves me, but she seems to flirt with every man we know. She has sexual tension between her and her girlfriends, (A lot of people, men and women-Including her own older step sister- joke about doing sexual things with her, nothing strange I suppose just messing around but it seems like there’s a lot more than just joking that’s going on)… I really love her, she’s so pretty and beautiful and nice and caring and I find her perfect and flawless, which makes me worry even more, With everyone joking about it, and herself flirting back, Has she ever acted upon it?… I’ve heard from other people (Whom I don’t particularily like, or trust) that she is cheating on me. So I let it go, but was still kind of distant from her for the next few days. Then after school I saw her all over a friend of ours, She wasn’t doing anything inappropriate, just hugs but it seemed like she wanted to kiss him and they were very close together, so I avoided her and just walked away from it… The very next morning, they are both late to school, She normally gets there early enough to get breakfast, But I got breakfast (Waited 30 mins to share it with her) and ate it cold.. Others saw me alone and asked about her, when I said she was gone they asked where; When I got breakfast she texted me telling me she went to get coffee with him. After I told them, almost everyone laughed and was like: Well then… Someones being cheated on.. She got there after I was done eating… I was a bit bothered but I really want to trust her… I don’t know what to do, she’s really cute and sweet but such sexual deviant, I find it hard to believe she isn’t cheating on me…

    • Rich

      Nice blog dude.

      Eon if you’re still in this relationship mate, you need to apply the duck test and you’ll have your answer.

      Clearly you’re not happy with the situation and you can’t trust her. So ask yourself, do you really want to be in this relationship? Perhaps you’re hoping that it’s going to change, well it’s not if you let her continue.

      As the author says, don’t pussy-foot around or yell at her… just end it flat out for the reasons you said. If she really hasn’t cheated on you, then perhaps she’ll want to fight to keep the relationship, and she’ll behave differently. If not (or if you think she’s playing you), then walk away and keep your dignity. If you don’t, then you will have lost your time, pride, reputation, and any assurance that you don’t have an STD.

      First step — Duck test.

    • Brian

      After dating some A+ quality, model perfect girls sometimes I just had to understand that it is likely that other guys (maybe girls too! ) would think she is HOT.
      The next step is expecting the possibility that they may hit on her.
      But the FINAL step is accepting that she might say YES.

      The way I look at it is that her play does not mean I get any less action and listening to her stories make OUR love life EVEN BETTER ;-)

  • that’s one clear sign that your girlfriend is insecure. Let go and don’t waste time

  • Girls like that are psychotic

  • Nick

    Fuck girls use em kuz they just want guys n guys n when u try hard to keep them they fuck u over n talk to every other dick in the school or whatever pce

  • T Low

    Women at 45 are in or going into menopause, and they … my GF is a fanatic to texting and facebook, and a lot of other social communities. It is a nightmare to me, and the B.S. with sex they come up with is crazy. I have never dealt with this thing, and don’t really know how to deal with the attention thing you talk about. I do not find it amusing, and want to figure out how love can be love if she is always flirting, but I receive none of the benefits.
    I suppose, I am the Dumb Ass, and need to go on without her.

  • JJ

    Some of the stupidest shit in here, haha! First he talks about a generation of men that want to be moral arbiters for women, and then goes on to talk about “alpha” and “beta” males! Jesus fucking christ! Go back to high school and read any basic sociology book, you are making yourself look like a retard.

  • Jess

    I had a girl who flirted a lot with other guys. I kept my cool. However, I drew the line when she started flirting with an ex fling of hers. This guy is very touchy-touchy and it’s clear he was still interested in her and made advances to her each time they saw each other (this, despite me being there). One time, she asked him for a back massage because she “alwaaaaays loved his back massages”. This happened RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME. :( That night, I confronted her about it and told her how uncomfortable that made me feel. Her response? “DON’T TRY TO CONTROL ME! HOW DARE YOU TRY TO CONTROL THE WAY I BEHAVE WITH MY FRIENDS!”

    I knew then she would never respect my boundaries. I’m still pissed about it and we’ve broken up a month ago. Every time I miss her I force myself to remember what a bitch she was to me.

  • omi

    thanx buddy…….helped me alot :)

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