Talking to an ex-girlfriend
Reader Comments:
“hey bro, ur atricle saves lives man, how do re-connect with an ex gf after a long period of “no contact” “i dont give a :) abt u look” “die b!tch die” “do me a favour, go fuck ur self will ya” what u say just hi after all of these and sing “kumbaya” beneath a tree and ding dong done deal ? or do u look for start off with something else.
I mean once u get the hang of being an alpha it’s kinda hard to let ur guard down for an ex and go talk to them in a civil manner with mutual understand.”
You’re taking the wrong approach to no-contact. The point of “no contact” is to reduce a girl’s significance in your life by eliminating her presence from your mind. If you treat her abrasively, you only reinforce her significance within your subconscious. You have to TRULY not give a shit.
As for re-initiating contact with an ex, you have to do so nonchalantly. If you make it obvious that you were trying to ignore her before, the spell is broken and she immediately gains hand because she knows that YOU CARE more than she does. Cardinal rule of any relationship: whoever cares LESS has more power. With an ex-girlfriend, you MUST remain in the dominant position to spark enough attraction to get her to spin on your tracks again.
You treat her like a friend, like you have absolutely no ulterior motives while obfuscating her facilities with superior game. Utilizing pre-selection is exceptionally important; it MUST be obvious that you have other options besides her. Any hint of desperation and you risk coming off as a vagabond.
Prepare for a slew of shit tests. Handle them appropriately by never letting them phase you, responding suavely, and using them to establish higher value. Example:
Girl: Why did you buy that girl a drink?
You: She looked dehydrated
(Wrong way to handle this would’ve been if you started arguing about how “it was nothing”)
Never backpedal after a shit test and take nothing seriously unless she has you at gunpoint. Tease her artfully, not harshly; and never come off like you’re trying to be funny. At the end of a letter to a girl of dubious stature, you can sign it with “Send my regards to the midget mafia.” But if you insult her directly about her height, your game comes off as coarse, not refined.
And finally, a word of wisdom. It is always energy better spent seeking out a new relationship than trying to salvage a broken one.
so say u’ve already shown ur weakness few months back, it is possible to prove to an ex that ur a dominant male, is it really possiable to regain power in front of her eyes, and stay alpha.
Alpha 1, that’s a very important question. I’ve just been through a breakup myself and she went from “I will always love you” to “Can we try to be friends” – like Roissy says once a woman has moved on she desexualises you. To paraphrase what you said, would there be any way to approach it as though you were picking her up for the first time again?
Shark, show us the stairway to heaven
Man !!!!!! i have been practicing ‘no contact’ with my girl for 3 days after our break-up… and she called me just now to say that she wants to ‘talk about it’ :) Thank you Shark !
Who ever cares less does have more power. But relationships aren’t about power, if you are there for the right reasons.