Solve My Girl Problems

Falling For Your Best-friend

Reader Comments:

hey shark,  Could you make a post of what to do if you fall for your female best friend? ive seen this happen many times and more often than not, it does end too well. considering you best friend would know everything about you, all your insecurities ect.. and theres practically no chance for mystery, how would one go about dealing with this. should guys even have female best friends?”

 

Speaking from experience, yes, guys can have female best friends. But because the sub-culture of game is inherently rebellious towards conventional social norms /standards, once you get into game ALL of your relationships with girls (even familial and corporate relationships) will be placed on a scaffold and all the bullshit that would normally baffle you will immediately evaporate. You will notice which girls actually like you, and which ones only keep you around for a morsel of male attention, you will notice the influx of feminine ideology in all of your “friendships” with girls, and most of all, you will notice which girls are only capitalizing on your social value. The rapidity by which your perspective on friendships will change following your full understanding of social dynamics is awe-inspiring.

If you fall for your female best friend, it should be like any other girl. In other words, DON’T GET ONEITIS. If you allow the chaotic energy of psychological dependency to penetrate the tenants of your relationship with the girl in question, you will fail no matter what. And not just that, you won’t be able to get over her after you fail. You will consistently fail with her, it will demoralize you, and un-do everything you have picked up from this blog. If you DON’T get Oneitis and you squash your desperation, then if you fail, you will simply cut your losses and move on. She remains your best friend. If you DO, then you won’t be able to get over her and your lackluster attempts at seducing her will only fuck your friendship up.

Game is eternal no matter what aspect you look at it from. The same tactics apply, push/pull, be wanted by other girls, and talk to her like you own her.

In terms of generating mystery, it’s true that she will know more about you than the average victim of your Jedi-Game, but that’s why you have artificial stratagems. You don’t have to avidly create mystery by TRYING to create mystery, just start challenging yourself and doing new things that she wouldn’t expect you to do. Work on surprising YOURSELF by doing something new and you’ll surprise HER. And pick up a few skills you can dazzle her with that she wouldn’t expect.

I think the key thing to remember in this situation is that you need to avoid Oneitis. From my experience, guys tend to develop it more often when they fall for their friends. Even guys with a good amount of game. It’s because desperation comes in two forms. One is general desperation (desperate for ANY female attention) and the second is a more malignant and specific type (desperation for ONE girl). Guys who fall for their friends often become desperate EVEN WHEN they have OTHER girls at their disposal because it’s easy for them to rationalize their attachment (holy shit i’ll never meet a girl like this again! she’s my friend, I ACTUALLY like her, blah blah blah).