Great read, was hoping for more coverage on LTR’s but I’m sure that will be in the future. The section on inner game was golden.
I have a question. I am in a LTR. Thanks to the help of your blog, I was able to stop a lot of the beta behavior I was exhibiting early on in the relationship. Now after a slew of passing shit tests I believe her interest level has gone back up over 70%. Throughout the course of the relationship she has always pulled random disappearing acts (turning off her phone/ignoring calls, then coming up with some lame excuse the next day). I used to send all kinds of texts/ FB messages in typical beta fashion. Of course this did nothing but help me to lose more ground. I found out that there have def. been a few nights where she lied to me about where she was or what she was doing. I was in the height of my beta activity at the time so I really dealt with it the wrong way. I really don’t think she’s cheated, but this behavior of course makes me suspicious and causes oneitus relapses. Whats the proper way to deal with this kind of thing? Amused mastery only seems to make her think this is acceptable, but confronting it just seems to drop interest and cause drama. I appreciate the help and again thank you for all that you do.
Yes, I intentionally left out LTRs for the future.
Amused mastery should be used to a certain extent, but the line must be drawn at some point. If your girlfriend disappears for a night and you know she’s lying about where she was, dump her. You’re giving her an industrial sized margin of error right now, one far too encompassing to retain the proper amount of respect in a healthy relationship. Lying is a reflection of a person’s character it’s not just a symptom of moral vacancy; if a girl lies to you, never consider her as LTR material. Your two options are to understand what insecurities led her to lie and use those to SpeedFuck her, or to drop her from the beginning.
Once a girl lies and even somewhat gets away with it, or enjoys the rush of manufactured drama in the aftermath, you cannot ever expect her to be permanently honest. The only possibility for somewhat rekindling trust lies in breaking up with her for an extended period of time, making the whole experience mentally traumatic, and preventing her from every considering it again. A girl needs to do the same thing if her boyfriend cheats on her. Compromising loyalty in a malign style should never be let off easily. But in your case, the problem is too deep and recurring to try this.
There is no other way to fix a relationship with that problem without pulling the trigger. It’s a win-win, she either comes back and you attempt to really fix the problem, or she doesn’t come back so you know her interest level was already too low for any chance of patching things up. Scenario A is almost an impossibility, if she’s lied before, she’ll do it again as you are bound to beta backslide somewhere down the road. If I were you I would stop talking to her and find someone else to discharge in. If she’s causing Oneitis relapses, this relationship clearly isn’t good for you.
If you expect she HAS cheated on you and you’re wondering why she’s still with you, it’s because woman have disparaging mating schedules. Betas are better providers, Alphas are better fucks. Women are inclined to keep a beta partner while cheating on him for Alphas because it gives them the best of both worlds. This is also why cuckolding has become a common phenomena and why feminists hate paternity tests.
If your relationship has been going well since you’ve somewhat stopped acting beta, I suggest you see how things go from here on in. If she lies again, you’ll know what to do. You cannot let her think that lying to you isn’t a serious breach in trust.
“Lying” in this post specifically refers to serious offenses. If your girlfriend tricks you into meeting her parents by saying “we’re going to a strip club,” then she isn’t morally repugnant, she’s a genius.