Comments

On January 16, 2012 by Shark

Shark, what is your take on Harvey specter, from the show, suits. he is one of the MOST alpha characters I have ever come across.
his life style, speech, attitudes and all.

 

Indeed, but I think his deliberate portrayal as the standard masculine prototype 2.0 becomes problematic; he fits the bill almost “too well,” to the point where his character seems rather denatured, even vapid. The underlying problem isn’t in him, it’s in the newly mechanized rendering of Alphas in television to systematically exploit their ability to attract viewers. A lot of shows aren’t “Here’s a good concept for a show, and there’s a good spot for an Alpha,” they are “Here’s a good Alpha character, now someone think of a concept to build a show around him.”

 

Thanks.
Question: when, if ever, is it ok to be just friends with your ex after breaking up? I’m guessing only when the male initiates the breakup?

 

You can be friends with an ex as long as both of these stipulations are met:

A) You’re over her, and there’s no risk of relapsing into unhealthy Oneitis habits by being friends with her
B) You actually like her, as a friend not just a girlfriend

There’s nothing wrong with staying friends with an ex, it only seems like it’s not generally “ok,” because no-contact is heavily emphasized as a post break up rule. But remember, this is because most of the guys SEEKING “break up” advice in the first place are going through tough break ups, and in their situations, not being friends is the best route to take. The guys who are sailing comfortably past their break ups are not going to be browsing through the Oneitis archives of this site, so most of the articles I write unproportionally stress the need for total liquidation.

Besides this, there’s the question of whether both people are mutually interested in staying friends. The girl may desexualize you after the emotional scuds have passed (if they haven’t already) and not care in the least for your existence, not get over you, or not get over you and house a dangling resentment; one that will consequently rev up a dying storm in the wake of your “friendship.” AND THEN, After all of these obstacles, there’s the issue of whether you consider her a demonic cavity that sucks the light out of the earth with her soulless optical vagina-vacuum… and then if you even have time to maintain contact (which you probably shouldn’t if you’re a man dedicated to his dreams).

 

If you care for a suggestion about your website, i think it woud be pretty cool to make your comments section a little more interactive by adding thumbs up thumbs down buttons and a way to post photos or videos here. kinda like facebook. I think it would increase comments and participation from all of your readers. simple is cool too though. im used to it the way it is, just a suggestion.

 

I like it, will do.

 

Shark. I’m pretty wasted right now so forgive me of any typos. brb.. gotta get a coffee.. Alright. On to the post.. Rewind to.. Last month. I was in a relationship. I was probably thinking about my girlfriend at this time — Saturday 00:14. My thoughts probably resembled something like this: “Oh, fuck.. I’ve got oneitis.. Fucking bitch — I’ve been with her for fucking forever, and now she ignores me.. I gotta go no contact and flirt with other bitches to fix this shit” I couldn’t go no contact. I always rationalized shit and always made up excuses to call her. I always had girls orbiting — But I lost my will to use them to my advantage, I never showed it to my girlfriend. Let’s rewind till last week.. My thoughts were probably the same as before; “Oh, fuck.. I’ve got oneitis.. Fucking bitch — I’ve been with her for fucking forever, and now she ignores me.. I gotta go no contact and flirt with other bitches to fix this shit” But the difference now was that i realized that I was going through the same train of thoughts as I had been doing for months. I had to do something. So — I broke up with her. And this brings me to now; I’m still rationalizing every mistake I do, and hell — I’m still making mistakes. But i’m slowly recovering… Anyhow — the change from ltr to single is for the better. I’m getting a hell of alot more motivation for life; I’m gonna start doing Martial Arts, i’m gonna take dance courses and i’m starting charity next week. It’s abit scary to be honest — I can’t sleep at all, not because i’ve lost the girl.. But because i’ve got such a fuckload of motivation for life in general. I’m sitting up through the night reading Fyodor Dostoyevsky — “Crime and punishment” — After school i’m going to the gym and killing it — And even after doing 360LB squats and deadlifts for 6 sets i’ve still got enough energy to go to the gym.

My question to you — Shark.. Is — Why is this happening? Why is my motivation coming back to me? It’s like this girl has been choking me for years.. And it’s just now that i’ve got my motivation for life back. Shark — Make a post about this — about relationships and girls that kill mens motivation, and how to avoid the trap. I get the chills when I think about what could’ve happened if I stayed in that relationship, I don’t want that to happen to anyone else — It’s like my eyes are finally opening, I don’t want anyones eyes to close like mine were.

- Cheers

 

I can relate to this all too well, and I pity the man who can’t. That moment when the horizon comes to you as not an incoherent fantasy, but a thing to conquer. When you’re out of the tumult of a relationship and suddenly mingling with the thunder of man and power inside of you. When laziness vanishes behind you in a gathering dust of things that no longer matter, and the world is beset by your audacity.

The force is strong in this one. I hope everyone going through a break up/ Oneitis reads this.

 

Shark another question. What is social proof? Is it the number of friends you have, the number of people who talk about you or the number girls who want you? And what is the fastest way to build social proof?

 

These posts should clarify:

Social Proof
Climbing the social ladder

 


Hey asking agian- I think you should cover in this area is how to bring her to your place? some routines to it ? what’s the right time (i’ve noticed its very hard for me to bring girls to my place on first date)..

 

Coming up

 

Hi shark,

Been reading your articles for sometime now, needless to say great material. This is the first time I strongly disagree with something not that I am saying you are wrong, but just wanted your opinion on how I would have worded it.

When he fucks his greatest pleasure is seeing her take pleasure in having him please her. In his eyes this is not putting her first, It is only a step in paving towards his end result.

 

Excellently put.

 

I agree….but surely Connery was very cocky in his attitude , beyond confidence, bordering on arrogance & witty if not funny in a cold dark way….Thunderball “He got the point”……Dr No…”Shocking…” cold…quite ruthless…very Alpha if not psychopathic?

 

Connery’s cockiness was refined and eloquent, a distillation of confidence taken to its extreme (which is what it should always be, no matter how irrational). C/f refers to a unique brand of cockiness, one that borders on being obnoxious, and loosens labials with a caveman type confidence. Without the funny in c/f; you have just an attention seeking character that lacks an ability to maintain interest and risks coming off as try-hard. The cocky part in C/f can be faked easily, Connery’s not so much.

 

No more log in? AAAWWWKKKWWWAAARRRDDD…

If people make fun of you, ignore them.

Bully back.

Fight, or flight, if you’re in an alpha mindstate (read the blog!), you’ll never have to worry about it. Stand up for yourself.

Bullies only thrive where authority is weak.

P.S. Shark, you’d asked what we would like to see on the blog. Where’s the business/career/money posts?

 

Coming up, anything specific btw?

 

Hey shark,
How do you deal with a g/f of 8 months, that’s very selfish in a relashionship? How do you deal with a g/f that doesn’t even remember her b’/’s birthday?

 

Competitive anxiety + Amused Mastery + Self-improvement. 99% of the time, this stuff happens due to a lack of interest. Read this: Getting more attention

If you’re in that 1% dealing with a girlfriend that has a natural affection deficit disorder, dump her.

 

My god dude. You are building an army with this blog.

 

Indubitably.

 

Shark, recently discovered your site and it stands far and above everything else. I usually can’t stomach reading something if it seems to be only written from a singular point of expertise; I need to see a generalist, all-pervasive intelligence and wisdom first and you obviously got it. Very powerful.

I’d like your take. An ex pulled a bad move on me and I used NC to cleanse myself of the disruption. Since then my life has significantly gone on the up, professionally as well as being with other girls. My emotional needs are met, but there is now a chance to return with that ex (who tries aggressively to turn all her boyfriends into beta chumps, as the one guy who dumped her before she could pull that off, I think that’s been key in her coming back). The basic gaming principles drove her nuts (lack of availability led to some very bratty pleas for attention and affection) but she has become emotionally vulnerable too soon.

Enter the shit-tests and other little crap. Most were easy to brush off but then she started getting in the “you’re toying with my emotions/you’re callous/you don’t miss me at all” routine, and my expectation is that this the precursor to a vanishing act (easily done in long distance). It’s her loss if she does, but in a manner you would with your daughter, I sent her evidence to the contrary with a gentle rebuke.

At this level I am wondering if withholding what she wants (given that I reignited her desire) is more damaging than giving it to her (in controlled doses). Thanks Shark.

 

They could both be equally damaging. It depends more on if she finds someone else or not. If she doesn’t, then either your controlled doses will drive her crazy wanting more, or total abjection will make her long for your affection for years to come.

Either ways, I would go with total rejection out of logical necessity. As a man of ambition, you have no time to worry about giving attention to a girl for her own good.

 

your consistent posts really get my spirits up.
i have an unrelated question: is deactivating one’s facebook account a good idea? if so, how should he or she go about doing it (make a status telling people its going to be deactivated, just simply deactivating it without telling anyone, etc)?

 

Depends on the context. If you’re addicted to it or it hinders your productivity, deactivate it. If you use it purely as a mode of communication and for networking, I see no harm in it except the occasional shortcomings in mystery.

Just deactivate it, a status isn’t necessary.

 

Should I try and ressurrect a relationship after being unplugged for the last two months? Mostly cos I still like her and for a perverse power display.

 

The combination of still liking her + wanting to perversely display power might leave a metallic after taste if you go through with it. Some of the various ways it could play out:

(a) You get her back, but realize the utter power of Game and how capable it makes you of hurting other people
(b) You get her back, but it flattens your positive slope because of the memories and assumptions that rest at the foundation of your relationship.
(c) You don’t get her back, and it drives you back into being a beta
(d) You don’t get her back, but you remain Alpha. She gets the self-actualization she always wanted and you become slightly smitten.

 

Hey Shark, I liked your articles on maintaining mystery in a relationship in order to increase attraction. However, the problem for me is that my girlfriend is very nosy and nags when i attempt to withhold information from her. After a while, she will eventually get into a bad mood and resent me. How do i retain this mystery while keeping her vagina sharks at bay?

 

You don’t have to aggressively withhold information, it’s more about showing a DISINTEREST in giving her information. You can’t seem like you’re “consciously” trying to be mysterious (even if you are), that defeats the purpose. And the shit storm that follows should be treated with the same tone of natural aloofness. And if she RESENTS you for it, there’s a deeper problem in your relationship. Frame control is everything, mystery breeds resentment unless you’ve crossed the threshold for Alpha.

 

Hey Shark….

Thought you might like this movie clip, to me it perfectly embodies the difference between the alpha and the beta

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y-AXTx4PcKI

 

That’s a pretty famous scene among inspirational movie clips, I’ve seen it a couple of times already. Personally my favorite part is when they show the discrepancy between 1st and 2nd place.

Enron used to fire the bottom 10% of their employees every year. Not a very ethical practice (surprise surprise), but it’s hard to imagine how the employees may have been unmotivated.

 

Ok, I feel like I have an interesting story to tell.

For sophomore college level English class, we are using an online discussion board to post comments about a topic that the teacher chooses before-hand. The topic chosen was “Choose a problem in today’s world and discuss it, and then propose a solution.” The context behind this is we briefly went over Jonathon Swift’s “A Modest Proposal.”

I chose to write over The Misandry Bubble, the article circulating the internet about men’s rights, as opposed to women’s.

I specifically cited the article, and implored anyone with any questions or comments to first read it. Well, I gave a brief summary of this article, detailing the biological reasons, much like you do, as to why men were born leaders and evolved the society of the past into a patriarchy. I talked about alimony, child support, and other things and exactly why they were put into effect and why they are no longer needed except in special cases, rather than for a leech for women on men.

Apparently, as is prophesied by the author of the article, I’ve been labeled as a sexist and a misogynist by the 6 girls in my English class (I’m from a small-town high school). They are, for the most part, ignoring me with contempt in their eyes and the way they talk about me. It’s obvious they gossip, because they get quiet when they’re near me.

Honestly, I find it amusing. It’s obvious they didn’t actually read the article. In fact, one of them SAID they didn’t. I’ve been laughing it off every time it gets brought up and have remained aloof, because honestly,

I just don’t give a flying fuck.

I’m just wondering, what do you think will happen? What do you think I should do?

I know the answers, but I want a check-up. I want to see how this compares to the Shark. I think it will blow over in a little while, almost seamlessly blending back to normal, but the fact is, they are all pissed beyond talking to me at this point, and it’s hilarious.

So… what’s up?

 

As ironic as this sounds, some of them will probably end up liking you. Chicks dig men with “distorted” and misogynistic views of the world. They start inquiring about you…then they develop this deep seated desire to change you… and then before you know it…

However, remember two things. First, keep these tellings of truth infrequent. If a girl comes up to you and tries to pick an argument, DO NOT argue with her. Dismantle it with the same aloofness you’ve become accustomed too. Express your dissatisfaction our cultural apparatus in the most covert and subtle of ways. You’d be surprised how many people you’ll interest out of sheer curiosity. They’ll wonder how you can possibly manage to think like that.

Second, they must not perceive your wicked revelations to come from a place of spite. You must be the uncaring asshole, not the type who actually resents feminism or women.

But I think you already knew all of this. Continue to out-awe and paralyze the opposition.

 

Probably a dumb question but, when someone uses the phrase no contact. Does that mean even if your ex contacts you, you just ignore them completely? Like phone calls, text, emails? Got dumped but my ex has called and I don’t call back, and she has emailed and I dont email. I know she will eventually get the hint, she is seeing someone and I don’t want to give her any comfort that she has my balls in a blender. Should I keep ignoring?

Also, how would no contact work in a different scenario, like if you wanted to get your ex back? Do you ignore them completely, and if she really wants to get back together she will eventually find a way? I don’t because she already slept with someone else, tahts enough of a turn off for me. But I did in the beginning and guessed help her transition process.

 

Yes, ignore her completely. Her significance in your life needs to be reduced to zero. Not to the negatives, no hatred no animosity. Just pure indifference.

And if you want to get her back, about 2 or 3 weeks into no-contact, when she peaks in the amount she misses you, you can talk to her. Ideally you want to “accidentally” be forced into talking to her. At this time, the no-contact cannot come off as “forced.” If she persists in asking, and it’s somewhat clear that you WERE going out of your way to ignore her, reply with “it’s complicated why.”

 

yo Carcharadon Carcharias,

about movies and music.

have you seen Legends of the fall? it’s another epic one with brad pitt as the main character.

the movie is a great reference to game and social dynamics.

pitts character is a super alpha, his middle brother a desperate beta and his youngest a clueless beta (their father is a well rounded alpha). Pitt dissapears throughout the movie with the utmost amused mastery and i find myself thinking so much about the way he acts and interacts with the other characters that it instantly relaxes me to the point where nothing around me feels threatening at all, i feel like the most the threatning thing for miles.

I’ve also noticed now that so many chick artists (and beta male artists) songs can be completely deconstructed and you can tweezer out all the specifics down to the point you make about behavioral evolution and womens vagina demons

for example :

Pat benatars “hit me with your best shot” = a song about a girl desperate to work hard towards taming an alpha.

Adeles “someone like you” hardcore competetive anxiety as a driving force starting from the first line

i also thought i had a solid grasp on most of the concepts and yet i find myself haing these small sporadic moments of enlightment as my days go by and i immediately thought to myself “this shit takes time to kick in”

I’ve become and avid fisherman in the past 2 years and whereas before when i looked at any body of water that was all i saw, now im looking for things, structure, eddies, wave height etc….all i see is code now….

 

I couldn’t have said it better myself

 

Always a pleasure, keep up the questions

 

getting over a break up

 

16 Responses to “Comments”

  • ben

    Hey Shark whats the Importance of the Facebook Relationship status, Is it a bad Idea to have a relationship status and show exclusivity. I have good game have Hb 8′s interested and from the past 8 months have been dating an HB9 she sent a request and I accepted something tell’s me that she just want’s me to stop flirting with other girls, I still do regardless in a way that shows it’s not my fault to keep attraction alive would appreciate your opinion this matter.

  • Anonymous

    Have your views on giving presents on birthdays changed at all? I’ve found that my girlfriend resented me a lot more after I didn’t give her anything on her birthday. Would I have been better off avoiding the resentment by just giving her something? Thanks!

  • Audi

    Your information is fantastic. These are a lot of the things I was beginning to understand after reading The Game and Mystery’s guide over two years ago but with the proper extension down the road of being a man that can maintain a relationship as he conquers the world.

    I’m trying to use Google Reader to page through your posts from the beginning, but I’m only getting snippets rather than your full posts. I wouldn’t mind the extra step of opening the mobile browser to your page except I’m running into a lot of bad links. It’d be fantastic were you able to fiddle with your feed settings a bit and get full posts to ferry through.

    I’m not sure you realize how important the stuff you’re writing is. It is the most applicable genius I have ever encountered. Keep up the great work, Shark.

  • Anonymous

    I have a question on how to deal with a situation where I was beta in the past in a way that better reflects my efforts to become alpha.

    Ex dumped me, found your website, now I’m awesome and she’s begging me back. Fat chance.Thanks by the way. I run in the same social circles as her, but worst with the ex-friend that wormed his way in and they hooked up shortly after we broke up. In a social situation, how do I deal with him? He made me look pathetic. I’ve read your articles on amused mastery and AMOGing but when my social proof seems to be so low around him what do I do? (He is not alpha, he’s a beta jerk. Got emotional and professed his feelings several months before we broke up etc)

  • celect

    I only see code as well, well put.

    Shark, when you were learning to trade how did you become more patient and selective in committing risk to your ideas. Visualizations, more checks in your favor etc.?

    Any posts on the psychology of making money is much appreciated. I am a fan of iwillteachyoutoberich.com

  • Evan

    Shark, I just had two back to back nights at frat parties, and both nights I succeeded in picking up women but both nights I also failed at fully closing for different reasons.

    Night 1 I found a girl dancing on a bar. I suavely walked up, offered her my hand with unbridled confidence, and we started dancing. We danced, made out, etc., and her friends kind of left her. I took her home but during the bus-ride her interest level clearly dropped. She let me in her house for a drink but we ended up just kissing goodnight. It seems like she had been giving mixed messages. Her decreased interest level was contrasted by her letting me in, which is a sign of trust. I’m not sure what to make of it.

    The next day I went up to a girl and used direct game, and she was all over me very quickly. Direct game seems very powerful if your good looking and confident. Unfortunately her friends pulled her off me(she came running back but they grabbed her again), and successfully cockblocked me. This has me wondering how cockblocking works, do you have any posts on it? From what I understand the goal is to win over her friends first, which is a part of normal game. But in this case I met her alone and essentially apocalypse opened her, so there was no winning the friends over stage. I’m guessing if you use direct game on a girl who’s alone, the friends are a major barrier if they find you two. Also, is there any correlation between cock-blocking and age? As in, as women age, do they less frequently prevent their friends from hookups?

    Both nights my phone died before the party so I couldn’t get either girl’s number. I gave them mine, but haven’t heard from them. Is this common? If you give a girl your # without her giving you hers, is it unlikely to get a call or text following up? I suppose that has to do a lot with her paradigm of herself as well as how interested she is.

    Either way, I have progressed amazingly over the last 4 months. My paradigm on life in general has shifted and significantly improved. Thanks for your great work!

  • Mike

    Shark,
    what is your take on a relashioship that has a 12 year difference in between the couple? I am 35 she is 47. Does she need to be treated any differently? do older women stay interested say the sam e as the younger ones?

  • Boss

    Shark, love your posts. Can you make a post elaborating about how to break up? I feel like the guy with newfound motivation, but still in the relationship. I feel that I’m in a toxic relationship and I’ve tried letting her go a couple times now after fights. She’d be saying I’m done and I’d be like “fuck it”, but then she would just revert back just be all loving and running back after saying she wants to be with me n wants to make it work and I’ll always take her back. I feel that she senses I have one foot out the door but still thinks I’m not going to leave. I want to break up right and leave her wondering and feeling like she actually fucked up and not out of spite and betaness. Care to shed some light on breaking up?

  • Anonymous

    I’m having the same problem as boss… I asked a question similar to it before but it got ignored. I just dont know how an ex beta should dump his gf

  • bulgariBLACK

    Personal finance, ways to climb the ladder in a job, separating work from your personal life, dealing with shitty bosses, stocks, commodities…

    For one, I think that a personal finance section ties in perfectly with the site for several obvious reasons. First, because if you have your money right, that achievement in and of itself should help to accelerate the gaining of confidence, especially after a break up or one’s hardships in life. Second, as you’ve said before in what I still view as your greatest post ever (Panera Bread FR), women are turned on by money and success (she moistened at the sight of your Rolex).

    I’ve been reading a book by Ramit Sethi entitled “I WIll Teach You To Be Rich”. It’s personal finance by someone who gets the younger generation and presses to inspire people in their twenties to start investing early, get out of debt, prepare themselves for life throughout this shaky economy. It’s a very good read with some solid information, but most of all, it’s easy to digest. Your spin on these topics would further expand this for me and others as well as possibly save people who are already dedicated to improving their lives.

    I need to know how to build a financial empire, so I Google articles and find one on this site (or a second site perhaps? It’s almost too much to sparingly throw in here, but alas, I’ll take what I can get). After getting some awesome advice for money, I discover another article (or the SMGP site if a money blog was does separately/in conjunction) and figure out how to build myself back up after a breakup. It’s a win-win for you and your readers and this will gain substantially more views for your site but also help those dedicated readers here who truly have a niche for self-improvement to have a better understanding of their money and how to save/make more of it, thus furthering the process of alphanization (new word).

  • Nathan

    Shark, love the blog mate.
    I’ve got a question about texting game. A 10′s been complaining about me displaying the same emotions as a rock to nothing. And is recommending for me to use smileys when we text. In your article about texting game, it was said to keep smileys to a minimum. Is it right to appease to this request

  • Anonymous

    Shark shark, don’t need a mean bark
    He keep the flame burnin when we lost in the dark

  • Turtle

    Shark,

    My ex broke up with me five months ago right after her birthday (LJBF). We haven’t really spoken since but routinely see each other at sporting events (were on different teams). Not to long ago my parents/grandparents came to one of our competitions to wish me a happy birthday (was turning 21). As I was sitting with them in the bleachers during a break she was looking at us quite a bit.

    That night we were both at a party and she caught me alone infront of a door texting. She lightly grabbed my arm but I stepped to the side without acknowledging her and she promptly left the room. I think what I did could be considered trying to’getting over her’ but I feel kind of bad about it. It was the first time she’s approached me and it probably took a lot of balls to do it. I suspect she wanted to wish me a happy birthday (I don’t have facebook).

    Was blowing her off like that the right thing to do?

  • It is 11:14pm on 17th January in good old Essex in the UK.

    I sit here a beaten man.

    Literally. A couple of hours ago I finished my second ever MMA class. The ribs on my left hand side ache from the multiple kicks received and my left bicep is tender from where my grappling partner Marek (An 18 stone russian brute) has manhandled me around the cage.

    I am not broken though.

    I am a Ironman triathlete / Accountant, now novice MMA punchbag. I took up this new hobby as a way to get out of my comfort zone. Try something new. I am so far enjoying it in the most part. I work 9 – 5:30 in the centre of London. As an “Ironman” I spend a lot of time training. My social life has as a result gone down a bit in the last few years. When your Friday night is a 2 hour brutal swim session, where you just manage to drag yourself out the pool before drowning, you just want to go to bed, not go out and party all night. I don’t want to go out and imbibe empty calories and wake up feeling shit the next day.

    I found this site after coming out of a year long relationship. We broke up mid October.I was actually due to move in with her at the start of October, but she cited a couple of weeks before I was due to move in that maybe I shouldn’t since we would probably end up killing each other. I agreed as the place is small enough already with just one person in it.

    It is a shame I had not stumbled upon this site sooner; as beforehand my eyes were firmly shut and only now, slowly is the veil of deception of this mortal plane finally beginning to reveal itself.

    The girl in question is a little bit crazy, she is on 10mg of citalopram and suffers from anxiety. The night before she told me she wasnt feeling “us” she was having huge migraines as she had been off her meds for a week or so, having “lost” them. Whether this played any part in the break up I don’t know. But I have since realised my beta ways and do not blame her for loss in attraction.

    After we started dating I cut back on my training a lot, due to spending time with her. Beta I know. I realise it is about me fulfilling my dreams and becoming a machine.

    I have been “no contact” with this girl for the most part.

    She had a few things of mine and was “reluctant” to give them back. About 3 weeks after the breakup I reinitiated contact to arrange a time to come pick up my stuff or meet in a mutual convenient place to get them. I actually said I had some spare tickets to go see a band she liked and that she could bring my stuff and we could party as well.

    Two birds, one stone, so I thought.

    Unfortunately she gave me some bullshit excuse and said she needed to tidy her friends computer(reinstall some shit), After this she cancelled on me twice when arranging for me to pick up my stuff and in the end I just told her I was coming over to hers to get them. She looked dishelved and downcast that day. I on the other hand after a month back training(20 or so hours a week) had lost about 8lbs and got under 10% body fat for the first time in about 9 months. We got on well. She gave off quite a few IOI’s to me, so I thought “hmmm”. I couldnt pick up everything that day as I literally couldnt carry it all.

    After that we were texting each other sporadically for a week or two making smalltalk. I decided though that I didnt want it halfway and that she shouldnt contact me unless she wanted a relationship.
    About 2 weeks later the rest of my stuff arrived in the post along with a nice note from her. Nothing about us getting back together etc, but upbeat and humerous etc.
    I didnt reply and then another 2 weeks later she chased me up by text asking if I had got everything… I replied just a single word answer “yes” and left it at that.
    The next day unfortunately I had a bit of a rant, I thought she might be more approachable so we had a bit of small talk and I asked if she fanced coffee before christmas. She said she was “busy”. I then went off on one and said I thought that the break up was for the best and that you need 2 people working on a relationship etc etc. Meh.
    I text her later that night and we had a bit of back and forth general chat. I then decided that I would put NC back into place again.
    She sent me a Whatsapp on 20th December and I have not replied to it. I have infact removed the program all together. I do think sometimes that she must think I hate her and am ignoring her, but then I think its not about “her” its about me.I shouldnt put it so the frame is on her. I shouldnt even think about her. The frame should be on me and my goals. She has my number and could call me if she wanted.

    I did see her as the mother of my kids. I realise i have to let go, but it is easier said than done. I have read that the only way to get your ex back is to “get over her”. I think i just need to keep rereading some of your articles and continue to rationalise things and finally I will have the eureka moment.

    I do miss the “banter” with her. We seemed to click and just be on the same wavelength. I have not had this with anyone before. I am sure I will have it again, it just sucks right now. We spent a lot of time together and had a lot of fun times.

    I have been on two dates with other girls since, none of them hotter than her though. I guess i do just have to bust one into a girl hotter than her to get my epiphany.

    I was stalking her getglue for the first 2 months (nov-dec) and all she does is sit in and watch films. She does seem down.

    There is possibly an opportunity in a couple of months time. One of her favourite bands is playing in london. I also love the band in question and have 2 tickets. I am unsure whether to ask her to the gig or not. Part of me thinks it would be awesome to catch up with her, tease her a bit, show her what she is missing and possibly reignite the spark between us and the other part thinks she will just reject my advances and get self affirmation that she could have me whenever she wants. I do have the option of asking another girl I have recently met, a stunning HB 10, but I think this girl is also a bit loopy as well, possibly even more mental. Maybe I have a savior mentality.

    I am bamboozled at how to increase attraction without contacting her. Perhaps put my facebook pic as a pic of me with some hot girl ? (I deleted her off FB and twitter. I had to do it as I was contantly checking her profile etc). I know the proper answer is to just cut my losses and put more energy into a “new” relationship.

    I realise that the reason she left me was due to losing attraction, by me becoming beta. In the future I believe I need to continue with my alpha lifestyle and continue pursuing my goals and dreams. My aim is in 3 years to get in the cage and crush someone with my bear hands.I am continuing to train for triathlons and will continue to do so even if I begin to hump the hottest girl in existence or if I got back together with my ex. It is about ME realising MY dreams. Thanks for “unplugging me” Shark.

    It is funnny how people go from strangers to lovers to strangers.

    I am not sure if there are even that many “questions” here. Sometimes it is good to talk and I feel better having written this.

  • Tom

    In regards to careers, I was wondering if you had any advice on the military. I’m highly considering the Army after I graduate, any information I can learn would be greatly appreciated.

  • Silver

    sup Shark,

    What’s your take on running game internationally? I tend to travel a lot, and game that works around them American hoez is much different (harder in my opinion) than running it internationally, especially if you’re not fluent with the language of country you’re in or don’t have mad bank roll sticking outta your pockets.

    I just touched down back home after spending about two weeks in Brazil, and even though I did get some love from some of the girls I met, some girls flat out blew me off when I cold approached them. Keep in my mind my Portugeez isn’t that amazing and the place I was once at was ridiculously high end: half of the parking lot was filled with Italian exotic cars and some cats there sometimes show up to the spot in fuckin helicopters and shit. Anyway, as I got straight up rejected/cold shouldered from like 2 separate girls and once a group of 4 banging looking chicks, I still walked away with my balls clinging cuz they’re plated outta tungsten… but still kind of curious about all this and how girls react differently to stuff I use and/or say here in the States. What are your thoughts on running game in different parts of the world?

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