Let Go

On February 6, 2012 by Shark

Relationships are not difficult by nature, they are difficult because we cannot accept their natures. There are certain unchanging, sacred, and albeit gross truths that people will forever refuse to acknowledge regardless of how brazenly their attempts to lock them down get tossed to the curb. There is no cure for these maladies, no escape from their clutches, and ignorance is anything but bliss when you’re within the grasp of their articulations.

1) You cannot stop her from cheating by being overprotective. What you can do is draw a line in the sand and tell both her and yourself that if she chooses to risk your relationship in that way, it’s over. But asking her “who are you going out with?” trying to keep her from hanging out with slutty friends, or butchering her with interrogative questions will never, ever prevent her from cheating. If a girl WANTS to cheat on you, she will find a way to cheat on you. You can try and maintain a healthy relationship, you can keep her interest level high, you can build a strong sense of trust, but you CANNOT impede on her freedom in a way that will proactively stop her from cheating.

2) She will always, always, always, always be shit testing you. There is no “if we just past this one issue.” There is no “This is the main conflict of our relationship.” Don’t ask yourself “why is she ruining a perfectly happy moment?” Don’t ask yourself “we’re doing perfectly well right now, why did she have to bring that up?” There is one issue, and then the next issue, and then the next one, ad infinitum. There is no end. When you’re 95 and in your death bed, you will be shit tested. And god forbid god is a woman, it will continue thereafter.

3) There’s always a risk she’ll cheat. Yes, if she sees you as the undisputed Alpha heavy weight champion, there’s little chance of real emotional cheating. But could she get drunk at a party, suffer from a split second of secksual attraction, and end up hooking up with a guy? Could her subconsciously driven crack-headed need for drama, that impulsive desire for that oh-so-wondrous chemical rush, make her do something she’ll regret later? Yes.

 

So what’s the answer? Nothing. There is no solution to these, there is only the hope of coming to peace with them. You’re in a relationship and your girlfriend suddenly brings up some shit that happened 3 ½ years ago? Don’t freak out. She says some completely illogical shit that makes less sense than a single penny? It’s ok. Embrace it. Let go.

It’s been 5 years in your relationship and you find yourself getting more over protective because you’re afraid she might throw everything away? Let go. It’s not going to help.

Life is a risk, love is a risk. There is no security. As long as you struggle for it, you will remain struggling for it. Entropy is the way of the universe. It is futile; the moment you STOP seeking utopia is the moment you arrive in it.

Let. Fucking. Go.

 

 

 

16 Responses to “Let Go”

  • Mostdonfulbu

    One of your top 5 posts ever. I am already half at peace.thank you.

  • Ant72

    Fucking. Genius.

  • ZG

    “less sense than a single penny”
    most kickass pun ever

  • Perfect!

    “What you can do is draw a line in the sand and tell both her and yourself that if she chooses to risk your relationship in that way, it’s over. ”

    Perfect shark but i still got a doubt. you say to draw a line and inform her that if she crossed, will be the end.

    what you mean to tell her ?

  • J

    Good shit shark, and hypothetically speaking, what do you think life would be like if every male on earth was alpha?

  • anonymous

    I think that it is sad that some men can’t let go. I get when you have a kid it is hard. But women will always bring up the past. Why go through it again? Why go back to them. So you can start the same bullshit over again?

  • anon

    very wise advice. sometimes letting go is hard when all you can think about is “why did XXXX do that? what was she thinking?”

    like why would a girl give you a fake number if she made out with you for an hour? was it simply low interest level? letting go is hard till you can stop caring about the answers

  • Sidather

    I’ve been with my girl for over a year, things are great. She’s always been a bit of a flirt (though she pretends she’s just being social, she’s not a stupid girl). I’ve been reading this blog for about a month now and wanted to check if I’m acting appropriately when this sort of thing happens.

    1. We’ll be sitting outside and she’ll start conversation with a random guy (no big deal), but when I can tell the guy is starting to get the wrong idea because she’s overly nice I just get up and leave and go talk to other people (female), this generally then gets her back over to me. The technique works but it still doesn’t stop her doing it.

    2. She will make a comment about some guy being hot. I either make a meh comment and point out a hotter guy in jest, or make a comment about some other girl I see that is hotter.

    3. She gets a little touchy (she’s just that sort of person, she does it with her family etc), not sexually, but she’ll touch a guy she’s talking to on the shoulder or arm. I’m right there so it’s either some kind of shit test or she is just that oblivious to what she’s doing. I make note of it but never bring it up. I’m not about to go and do the same to a girl I’m talking to because I’m not going to tit for tat her behaviour, and I’m also not looking to be seen as some creeper who goes around stroking girls.

    4. I play in a band so if she’s there and dances with guys (in front of me) I’ll just make a joke about how bad their dancing looked, or something other to mock.

    5. A mutual acquaintance of a bar we frequent was totally gaming her and she fell hook line and sinker. I was just chatting with him the night before and he asked how my GF was, but the next night he pretended not to know her name. This of course set her off for the rest of the night as he continued not to remember which kept her giving him attention. I ended up just laughing and saying to her I can’t believe you’re falling for it.

    Am I handling this right?

    I make a point of taking her home at the end of the night and fucking her senseless. But if I can’t make it out and she’s out with the girls, I know they always end up hanging with other guys all night. I’m able to let go, but sometimes it’s hard.

  • Tom

    So many problems I see on here, and I hear from friends in real life can easily be fixed by embracing that mentality of ‘Let it Go’. When you get to the point to where you simply don’t care what your girlfriend, parents, friends, or whoever think about what you do, your happiness will instantly sky rocket.

  • BkTom

    your’s is honestly the only website I’ve EVER visited and followed concerning getting girls but what do you think of this piece and some of the comments?

    http://www.cracked.com/funny-287-mystery-pick-up-artist/

    i dont buy that its just for shits n giggles

    i can honestly say that no matter what title mystery has, i still consider myself WAY more fucking alpha then he will ever be or any of his followers for that matter…i can tell your site is vastly different from the others without even visitng another site because of the way you express your shit. i sense no ulterior motive other then this being your own project mayhem with loyal followers based on core fundamental truths we all seem to have abandoned for a little poon a long time ago….

  • XAVIER

    is it possible to be both Alpha and in touch with your emotions? Theres a difference between being confident and arrogant, and arrogance would be to deny being emotionally unstable. is it ok to tell a girl that maybe what you thought were feelings of attraction was just you trying to fill a hole in your life?

  • James m

    I’m loving the article, you always help validate a lot of how I already think. I need that.

    I have something effecting me a little opposite of this article.

    I watch porn, I always have, my current girlfriend who I love so much is progressively becoming more and more against that fact. She use to be cool with it. Made me feel its normal, then I started watching it less, it made sense at the time because I’m satisfied I get a lot of action with my girlfriend anyway.

    Then recently she came around my house and saw I had the tv left on a free kind of soft porn channel.

    Thing is it never seemed to bother her, now she is not talking to me over it and talking about breaking up.

    I rarely ever watch it now. She says she doesn’t want to be with a guy that takes pleasure looking at other woman.

    I say it’s just a release. I have no personal affection for these women.

    What is your view on watching porn? And why do you think she is being like this?

  • Brett

    Shark,
    I recently applied for a job as a horseback rider in a theatre production here in the town I live in. I am a skilled rider and would have easily gotten the job if it only entailed riding, however when I got to the interview I found I would also have to dance and in fact dancing was the majority of my interview. Dancing first, then calling back the people they liked to show their riding skills. Well, my dancing wasn’t quite up to par on what they were looking for and so that automatically put me out of the running for the position I was shooting for.
    They told me I had the look they wanted but that my dance basically sucked, and asked if I would be interested in a less paying, technical position with the possibility to work my way up to where I wanted to be. I told them yes because a job is a job and I need the money.
    Now what bothers me is the fact that I am now going to be working under about 15 riders because I didn’t blow them away with my 20 second dance. I can ride as well as any of them and given time to practice have no doubt I could nail the dancing as well. My problem is, as I sit here typing only an hour after being hired I can already feel myself becoming irritated that I am going to be working in a lower position then I know I am capable of. I know that everyone has to start somewhere but feel like as I’m working it will always be in the back of my head that the only reason I’m not out there in the spotlight is because of that damn 20 seconds of dancing.
    How might I get past this mental blockage to perform at my peak while doing a lesser job, my sensei? I know what needs to be done, but hearing it from you will only cement what and maybe put a different spin on what I already know.
    Sorry for any typos I’m in a hurry to eat pizza!

  • Santosh

    Man..so far i have adored only Osho. You are the next. Full of substance and insights.

  • Anonymous A

    This is a truly remarkable post! I’ve linked it to a friend who’s going through it and it has begun to open his eyes.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>