Relationships are not difficult by nature, they are difficult because we cannot accept their natures. There are certain unchanging, sacred, and albeit gross truths that people will forever refuse to acknowledge regardless of how brazenly their attempts to lock them down get tossed to the curb. There is no cure for these maladies, no escape from their clutches, and ignorance is anything but bliss when you’re within the grasp of their articulations.
1) You cannot stop her from cheating by being overprotective. What you can do is draw a line in the sand and tell both her and yourself that if she chooses to risk your relationship in that way, it’s over. But asking her “who are you going out with?” trying to keep her from hanging out with slutty friends, or butchering her with interrogative questions will never, ever prevent her from cheating. If a girl WANTS to cheat on you, she will find a way to cheat on you. You can try and maintain a healthy relationship, you can keep her interest level high, you can build a strong sense of trust, but you CANNOT impede on her freedom in a way that will proactively stop her from cheating.
2) She will always, always, always, always be shit testing you. There is no “if we just past this one issue.” There is no “This is the main conflict of our relationship.” Don’t ask yourself “why is she ruining a perfectly happy moment?” Don’t ask yourself “we’re doing perfectly well right now, why did she have to bring that up?” There is one issue, and then the next issue, and then the next one, ad infinitum. There is no end. When you’re 95 and in your death bed, you will be shit tested. And god forbid god is a woman, it will continue thereafter.
3) There’s always a risk she’ll cheat. Yes, if she sees you as the undisputed Alpha heavy weight champion, there’s little chance of real emotional cheating. But could she get drunk at a party, suffer from a split second of secksual attraction, and end up hooking up with a guy? Could her subconsciously driven crack-headed need for drama, that impulsive desire for that oh-so-wondrous chemical rush, make her do something she’ll regret later? Yes.
So what’s the answer? Nothing. There is no solution to these, there is only the hope of coming to peace with them. You’re in a relationship and your girlfriend suddenly brings up some shit that happened 3 Â½ years ago? Don’t freak out. She says some completely illogical shit that makes less sense than a single penny? It’s ok. Embrace it. Let go.
It’s been 5 years in your relationship and you find yourself getting more over protective because you’re afraid she might throw everything away? Let go. It’s not going to help.
Life is a risk, love is a risk. There is no security. As long as you struggle for it, you will remain struggling for it. Entropy is the way of the universe. It is futile; the moment you STOP seeking utopia is the moment you arrive in it.
Let. Fucking. Go.