The Alpha Ex

On February 1, 2012 by Shark

Reader Comments:

Dude. You saved me. Here I am, in a good and 2 months new relationship with a new guy and yet I am not ENTIERLY over my ex bf. Even if he also, just recently, have gone to another girl, I still sort of can not let him go with all my heart (even if I do like my current VERY VERY VERY MUCH). I found my confussed feelings very very annyoing and in the way of focusing on the now, and by finding this article, I could make much more sence out of what I thoight wad mental at first. Now I mifht find a solution to the problem, now when I know the cause. Thank you! An please, If you know any sulotion to this feeling problem, put that up to if you have the possibility. Thank you x 1000!<3


Anyone still in the loop about Monika Lewinsky will recall that a couple of months ago she revealed in an interview that she was STILL in love with Bill Clinton; despite their affair constituting only a handful of blowjobs. She’s slept with other men, dated other men, but it’s just not the same. The reason is simple. As illustrated thoroughly in this post, it’s because women are hypergamous. A wolfishly Alpha Ex like Clinton can leave an imprint so fucking profound; a girl will carry his template for her entire life. Assaulting Maleitis (female version of Oneitis) requires a few crucial steps, and can be different compared to the way a guy would go about it.


1. A Guy needs to find a new girl, just as hot or hotter. A girl needs to find a new guy, just as Alpha, or more Alpha. The second part of this rule is always the part that’s forgotten. Why do rebounds never work? Because they always fall short of what you had before. There WILL be feelings for your new partner, you WILL invest in them, but it’s just NOT the same. The Id monster will eventually surface, and when it does, you stand no chance. This is particularly true when it comes to girls, because of the way they’re biologically wired. The impact of mating with a man LESS worthy (which means less reproductive value a la biomechanics) = babies with inferior genes. And because a girl’s biological payout caps out at 10-20, the implications are FAR MORE VAST. A guy’s hindbrain does not perceive the difference. Even if his new girlfriend is slightly uglier, his brain is thinking, “I can just mate with both of them.” Women subconsciously understand that a less than stellar ex means PERMENANT damage control; she must choose between one man’s genes or another, she cannot have BOTH the way a guy can. While monogamy changes this via our social structure, it does not change the way our brain has been functioning for the past 100,000+ years. A girl’s hamster KNOWS that she is essentially choosing between her ex and her current boyfriend in terms of whose sperm will impregnate her ONE egg. If it thinks she might have “downgraded,” the conscience result is a mix of confused feelings.

*We reduce the debate to only “looks” and “Alphaness” for the sake of simplicity. While these are the primary factors at play, they are obviously not the only ones.

2. Visualize your ex as a loser. This is when the disadvantages / advantages of the two sexes become clear. Men are polygamous, Oneitis comes about from the psychological attachment they have with a girl + the implicit understanding that another guy can now boff your ex and steal your legacy. So post-break up, a guy can remain enamored by his ex despite fucking other girls. If he is deeply emotionally vested in her, only an effort par excellence of his will can help him get over her. For a girl on the other hand, emotional investment can be reduced to a triviality. If a girl is NOT attracted to her ex, it’s game over. He is desexualized, she sees him as nothing more than a friend. She might LOVE him, but she is not IN love with him. Whatever special cute moments or inside jokes they had in the past are irrelevant. A girl out of love is a girl out of love. But WITH this awesome ability to truncate exes at the drop of a pin, comes the opposite extreme. A girl who still sees her ex in that luminous Alpha aura will find it nearly impossible to ever remove him from her mind. Hence it becomes necessary to start CONSCIOUSLY stripping him of that aura. Logic won’t help, as a girl, you need to ENTICE emotions of boredom. Start seeing your ex as a chump you’d rather not be with. Make yourself remember all the times when he acted like a loser, all his failures with other women (hopefully he has some).

3. Don’t become a slut. I don’t mean this from a moral angle; ethics are left out in this blog. But in the same way that a guy only remembers the tightness of his ex if he fucks a fat toad afterwards, a girl will only remember the perfections of her ex if she sleeps with a series of losers afterwards. By all means, find another guy and enjoy your time with him, but don’t settle for less. Find a guy willing to be an emotional tampon, and use him for ONLY that. Don’t force yourself into seeing him as a surrogate boyfriend, or you WILL come to regret it.


And a final notable difference: why aren’t girl’s advised to “go out there an take over the world?” It’s not because they are incapable of it, it’s because it just doesn’t pay off as much. A guy who reignites his passions is doing it ultimately FOR ANOTHER GIRL, albeit an unrealized one. No matter what, just as Freud said, every man’s will to power is intimately connected with his reproductive value. We conquer countries, businesses, politics, sports; all because of this underlying secksual tension. The hidden assumption that by working hard, we will accumulate more secks, power, and knowledge. For women, that ultimate goal of “FOR ANOTHER GUY” is only realized WHEN that guy appears, and WHEN they are able to emotionally calibrate with him. A girl cannot increase her chances of bagging that future Alpha by being CEO of her own company or passionately chasing her hobbies, a guy CAN. Her ambitions are indulged in for their ability to distract her, but they do not directly effect her ability to attract another guy better than her ex. A guy on the other hand, subconsciously understands “this will NOT ONLY distract me, but also increase my chances of finding someone better.


Alpha ex boyfriend

P.S Since you’re already in a relationship, I suggest that you inconspicuously pass on this website to your boyfriend. Sure he might be mind fucked and incapable of thinking straight for a few days, but in the end, it’ll be worth it. What you need is for him to ram you against a wall and fornicate till the memories of your ex seep out of your corpse in one all-consuming, life-affirming orgasm. Such a proposition is only possible if he has titanium balls, and I just so happen to do titanium-balls-induction-surgery free of charge right here on this blog.


13 Responses to “The Alpha Ex”

  • Taylor

    Shark, I got something for you. This situation seems a little more unique to me, and after I get my thoughts in text, I’ll separate with three paragraph spaces, or “enters” (page breaks?)

    The girl that sent me reeling to eventually wind up here, where I became twice the man I was nearly exactly one year ago, has recently started acting exactly like she did before she broke the heart of the little boy that was once Taylor. She is repeating her actions to the t, or to the tittle.

    she’s come to my house twice (never dated). Once was before the shit hit the fan, approx 365 days ago. Twice was two days ago.

    She used to write “little notes” on my papers in school. Today, in class, she wrote “I love Taylor” on my paper. I of course did the best I could, basically just said acted disinterested, tactic number 1 for me.

    She used to try to constantly hold my attention by calling my name for trivial matters. She’s begun it again. Same thing, disinterest.

    Long story short, she’s completely repeating herself. The only difference is, I’m onto her. I’m more in tune with her actions and what they mean.

    Now, this can mean two things. Either she’s doing it subconsciously, or she’s not. I don’t think it’s subconscious, because of the perfect mirroring of her actions a year ago. Thoughts on that?

    I still, of course, being male, have SOME level of interest in her. After all, she is attractive, about a 8, it’s just that she’s tiny. That said, I won’t, per my current mental state, enter into a relationship with her, because of what happened. That’s not to say I hold a grudge; quite the contrary, I am glad she did what she did. I will say this: I have no qualms, DESPITE MY CELIBACY at 18 years old (I’ve met one other guy who is abstinent), with fucking the life right out of her body. I think that’s a by-product of my previous oneitis, as, of course, I haven’t fucked anyone hotter, and it would be a victory to fuck her, as she’s a virgin, too. Anyway, I’m wondering what you think. I’ll lay down my own hypotheses.

    She liked me to begin with, then retracted at beta stench. She held some interest, then continued pursuit after severe shit-testing and seeing how I’ve grown balls.

    She never liked me, but could control herself enough that she made my old self fall for her via manipulating a weaker Me. Because I’m smart, she used me……… him… for grades and help. Now, she’s trying it all over again to finish the job of siphoning off my soul before leaving for college to fuck tons of guys (oh well lolz I’m about to be surrounded by chicks, myself). Instead she is getting shafted more, it’s harder. Instead of getting irritated, she enjoys the thrill of the hunt and fully expects another victory, being more fulfilling because it required effort. Not gonna happen.

    She doesn’t know she’s doing any of it, and even at a subconscious level, doesn’t have any ulterior motives behind her mannerisms, which, honestly, will disappoint me because it will mean I suck at reading people and seriously need help.

    I am the most intelligent person in my school, with but one rival, who has no ambitions except video games and band.
    I am funny, but for the most part, clown funny. I make fun of people if it doesn’t terribly offend….. normally. The reason for this is, if you offend everyone, you stop being funny one person at a time.

    I’m athletic. Football, baseball, basketball as a hobby, track.

    I’m not a bad-looking guy, I’m just short at 5′ 6″

    I hate my height. That’s the only reason I don’t play bball full time. 31″ natural vertical jump.

    This small section was so you could provide the best analysis. It was taken from a realistic view, I don’t degrade myself, nor do I pedestalize myself. I am not Stryver, I am not Carton. I am Charles Darnay in that respect.

    Another note: she’s hindu, gujarati to be exact, and technically she’s not allowed to date outside of her religion, but that didn’t stop her from dating an out-of-town white kid a year ago. (The reason I beta-backslided, causing me to come here)

    This was written from my phone. All of it. Errors may abound. Every adjective that helps with analysis is there for a reason, such as out-of-town.

  • Taylor

    The 3 paragraphs after “hypotheses” ARE my hypotheses. I didn’t bullet or number.

  • Runner

    It seems more girls are aware of Game and PUA lately. What do you do when a girl calls you out on using the in field tactics of game? I’m interested as to how you might have reacted in this situation, Shark:

    Not too long ago I had my own close encounter with the neg when a guy at a local drugstore decided I would become his “target”. What follows is a quick, painless (or painful, if you’re the guy involved), smart way of shutting down an attempted neg.

    I walked into the store and entered the aisle where skin care and hair care items were stocked. A guy was next to me, reading the back of a shampoo bottle. He quickly glanced at me, smiled when I caught his eye, and went back to inspecting his shampoo bottle. A few moments later he turned to me with a chuckle – “This stuff is expensive! Maybe I should start washing my hair once or twice a year to save money.” I gave him a quick smile and resumed gathering the products I came for. He then said “Hey, you know you have a beautiful smile. When you smile, your whole face lights up.” I tried not to roll my eyes as I thanked him and got ready to walk away.

    Just then he tapped my shoulder. I looked down at his finger as he said, “But you have something in the corner of your eye – one of those eye crusties.” I wiped my eye, thanked him again, and left the aisle.

    But he wasn’t finished.

    Several minutes later he caught up with me in the snack aisle. He pretended to be looking at chips, but stopped and gazed at me. “Oh, you still have that eye crusty. Just telling you, you know, because you’re a very pretty lady otherwise.” He smiled widely.

    I peered at him: “Really? If you were that interested in me – for anything – you could have just said so… Of course I would have promptly replied no since I have a boyfriend and you’re not my type anyway. But by thinking you were going to “game” me with your “neg” you only made yourself look very desperate and pathetic. And landed yourself a spot in my next blog post on the ridiculousness of PUA. It will be a good one, all thanks to you.”

    He looked to his left and right and half-smiled at me with red cheeks. I turned and walked off.

    Anyone else have an experience with PUA or other failed pick-up strategies?

    How do we deal with the matrix becoming aware of our defiant subculture and explicitly attacking it as pathetic or manipulative? And what if the situation above had been in a club with other people looking on? Would an ideal reaction be any different? I know that indifference and amused mastery is going to be an important element of a good response. I’ve been reading here enough and have read your book, so I know the fundamentals. My question here is more related to tactics. But I guess I also want to know in general what our overall strategy and attitude should be toward the matrix’s awareness of us and hostility toward what we’re doing.

  • Lambert

    always a fantastic read.
    Shark what’s your thoughts on keeping say a journal where once and a while you just write down some thoughts ?

  • Confused

    Confused: for #3, you said “Don’t become a slut”, but you go on to advise her to sleep around with a bunch of losers . . .

    • Shark

      I told her NOT to sleep with a bunch of losers because it’ll only remind her of the ways her ex was perfect

  • Kaushik

    Shark, your articles are a pleasure to read. It would be great if you could bring out a book which contains your articles on — inner game, alpha mentality — not exactly on the mating game, but something larger. EG — practical tips on self-improvement. Sort of how to reach a state of Zen, flow etc etc. How to become the amused master. A lot of us are always consumed by self-doubts, some of which even hamper us from reaching our potential. Thanks and by the way can one order you book on flipkart or is google the only option.

  • John

    Shark, will you do a post on (the fine art of) teasing please?

  • Mike

    How do you touch your g/f heart and make her fall in love with you more? Make her miss you? play hard to get?

  • James

    is it okey to block my ex girlfriend from twitter, i cant move on, my life is shit im seeing her taking pics with new guys, i wanna block her forever. plz help me

  • Michelle

    Best advice I’ve read online…thanks for opening my mind!!!

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