Two readers comment:
Hey Shark, will you do a post on teasing please.
someone else suggested a post on teasing, can you please do one? I know it was covered in the black flag, and it opened my eyes to the whole idea, but could you do a follow up post please?
So by popular demand…
A neg is a carefully guided insult concealed under the hue of either a compliment, or a pallid observation, that although does not directly insult a girl, causes her to question her self-worth and reactively attempt to qualify herself towards your greater judgement. The established difference in value builds attraction because her hamster, rationally I suppose, assumes that you must be a man of high reproductive value to be able to disqualify her.
First, you must understand when and how to use a neg. Negs should always be executed in a pick-up, exempt that rare scenario where your value is already far above your quarry. In other words if you’re gaming a 1 or a 2; or you’re already an obscenely powerful man, negs are overkill. To illustrate in numerical terms, you want your value to be 2 or 3 points above the girl in question. If you neg an ugly girl, and your value subsequently becomes 5 or 6 points above her, she assumes you are not interested, feels too rejected, or thinks of you as too much of an asshole. Even 4 points above a girl flirts with failure, as it will hinder your attempts to build rapport later on.
Negs should be TONED DOWN once you have exited the attraction phase of a pick-up and are working instead to cultivate an emotional bond. At that point, too many negs will result in emotional declivities that will encumber your progress.
Hard negs are to be executed in two different scenarios (obviously others exist, but these are the two most common ones where they are applicable). First, when you are gaming a girl with inflated value, and second, when you are far too behind in the race for attraction. In both instances, the neg must be carefully executed so as NOT to look like an OVERT ATTEMPT at establishing higher value. Look at the comment on the failed pick up in This Post for a good example of a fail neg. An example of a hard neg I recently used below:
Girl: “I’m going with him to Canada, he said he’d take me and my friends there for a weekend”
Me: “Right after you met him? That’s pathetic, you should at least make it look like you’re difficult.” [exited immediately after]
Somewhat abrasive and would’ve easily backfired had I not carefully articulated the situation. I was already dating her friend so it came off as a straight disqualification rather than a neg with undertones of neediness (which is why you wouldn’t want to use this in a relationship or on a girl you’re already dating). Sometimes after a hard neg you’ll want to exit immediately after for the effect to sink in and to avoid the backlash that would PREVENT her from entering a qualifying mentality through sheer emotional tumult. It must come off as careless, aloof, disinterested, and with a ring of truth. And another example I suggested on a forum:
Her: “This car isn’t nearly as nice as I thought I’d be” [stepping into an M5]
You: “I save the better one for better looking girls”
Teasing is the subtlest form of the neg. It is barely a disqualification and functions instead to express your comedic abilities, to release tension, to build comfort, to be playful, and to barely demonstrate your higher value. They should be diffused across your conversations, and set aside only when you’re building deep rapport. The easiest things I find to tease about are intelligence (you’ll find an abundance of clumsiness in every girl you ever date), and stereotypes (general female stereotypes or if she’s of a certain race/type). Some obvious ones:
If you’re dating an Asian girl and she’s driving
If you’re dating a blonde and she’s studying
If you’re dating an Indian girl and she’s about to take a shower or shave
If you’re dating a girl older than you and she’s experienced in bed
And so forth
You can also consistently tease through a general level of sarcasm, which I find to be the easiest for noobs. It can be applied in response to almost any question
Her: “Why do you drink so much?”
You: “Because you have no ass”
Her: “What are you doing tonight?”
You: “Ordering a hooker package”
Her: “We’re going out for dinner tonight?”
And finally, there are three rules you MUST adhere by:
(1) NEVER BACKPEDAL: Sometimes the girl will reply in kind through a severe shit test and you start questioning whether you went too far. Don’t. Worst comes to worst, just pretend you didn’t hear her and leave. Never apologize or try and soften up your neg. “Mistakes in audacity can be overcome through more audacity”
(2) NEVER CHECK FOR APPROVAL: You’ll notice, especially with 8.5s or above, that you have this inclination to quickly look at her after negging to check for approval. Did she laugh? Did you go too far? Hold it down. It’ s irrelevant. Look at no one after you say a joke.
(3) NEVER OVER-TEASE: The bane of 70% of men introduced to game. Because they get results with negging, they continue indefinitely in that path. Remember negs are meant to create that SPARK of attraction you can use as a gateway for rapport. For every 2 or 3 teases you throw in, say something kind. And don’t continue in a streamline of teases and nice things, remember to indulge in laconism once in a while. Change it up. Put her above the clouds, and then back on terra firma. Make her emotions vacillate between euphoria and rejection.