Comments

On March 25, 2012 by Shark

Shark I have a problem. I’m 20 years old and i’m a virgin. I’m a decent looking guy, played sports threw high school. Shyness always held me back with girls when I got in middle school threw high school. I remembering being a kid and every new girl on the block was my girlfriend, my first kiss was around the age of 8 lol. Getting fat in middle school really lowered my confidence and stayed with me all the way threw high school. Now in my second year of college i’ve matured tons, lost about 30lbs and i’m looking great. My inner game is tight and getting better with this blog but my problem is my lack of effort. Being a virgin doesn’t really bother me. The thing is I don’t care. This girl I made out with a few weeks ago, I could of defiantly fucked her if I pursed her. But I didn’t text her, call her, message her on facebook. Kept no contact, basically just froze her out for no good reason. The girl i’m trying to get with now likes me a lot. I actually took the first couple of steps by getting her number and texting her a little. I’m planning on seeing her the next weekend i’m home from school. Escalating, approaching, none of this stuff bothers me. I’m not the greatest and can defiantly use more practice but lack of motivation is what I find really holds me back. I don’t masturbate, or play video games. I’m in a regiment of cadets so I can’t watch tv or do any of those things during the week, I just have my computer. I play basketball, run, swim, longboard, and lift. Is my mind tricking me by turning a fear into lack of motivation to pursue women? My school being 90% male doesn’t help at all. Any advice would be appreciated.

 

Always Be Closing

If there’s one thing that separates the success rate of jerks and AFCs it would be not their ABILITY to close; but their willingness to do it. To illustrate: Imagine there were 10 girls and 2 guys, one jerk, one nice guy. People assume that if the nice guy ATTEMPTED to close 10, he would get 0 whereas if the jerk ATTEMPTED to close 10, he would get 2 or 3. The truth is, both of them are AFCs, and women find them equally attractive (unattractive). If the nice ATTEMPTED to close 10, he would close the same number as the jerk.

The difference between them is not their ability to attract women, just their willingness to convey that attraction and use it to their advantage. There is no deeper issue in the problem you’re describing, you just need to CLOSE. No tricks or techniques to it, you just need to push hard for the sell. A girl will not escalate for you. Even if she likes you, YOU have to take that mutual attraction a step further. If you don’t, the both of you are missing out on a potentially great experience, whether a relationship or not, all because you didn’t have the balls to push it further.

Further reading: How to escalate

 

Im not a Satanist but some of their ideals correlates to yours, they believe in self development just like you

“Above the surface, you might see some spokespersons. But, like an iceberg, most of our membership remains hidden in the murky depths. Some new members mistakenly want to publish membership lists, as they fail to grasp the concept behind the structure of the organization (they still haven’t shaken off pre-conceptions absorbed from herd culture). If, after explanations, they don’t begin to grasp that they are still thinking in a non-Satanic paradigm and thus they are working to counter our structure, they may be asked to leave the organization.”

http://www.churchofsatan.com/Pages/MythCommunity.html

http://www.churchofsatan.com/home.html

What is your take on this.

 

The church of Satan is almost a direct reflection of existentialism and other self-enlightening ideologies; but the very fact that they call themselves the church of Satan is self-defeating and slows their penetration of mainstream dogma. There are two explanations they provide for this. First, that very few people are able to adhere to their doctrines in the first place because it requires a certain level of self-awareness, intelligence, reason, and open mindedness; which indirectly accounts for their usage of Satan as a mascot in the first place. The people apart of the church of Satan do not actually worship Satan as a deity, the acceptance of “Satan” as an ideal metaphorically represents their rejection of idolatry and their willingness to break apart from the magnified projections that have represented the gods of our era, and past eras. They do not WANT to go into mainstream, because they understand that it is an uphill battle; but it is not. The limits they place on themselves are just that, limits they place on themselves.

But ultimately this only makes it easier for people, even ones with potential under their definition, to misinterpret their mission and their ideals. Regardless of how open minded any person may be, the church underestimates how strongly religion can serve as an ideological opiate and how deeply it is branded within our paradigm and discourse. Even most atheists, with their rejection of God, are affected by objective ideals and although they might say “morals are subjective” and claim to uphold virtues like individualism, you can clearly see the effects of societal coercion in their own rhetoric and actions.

It is a worthy movement, but I see no point in calling it “Satanism” beyond the fact that it indirectly gives them a sense of power and purpose. Although the movement strives to rid itself of the paradoxes inherent in its beliefs, they could do much better. Their rejection of the term “community” for instance, is a symptom of their rejection of the human herding phenomena; but the very fact that they call themselves “The church of Satan” and their use of symbology/metaphors/labels as driving forces in their movement subsumes that very goal. Their example of the disgruntled wanna-be high priestess evangelized teenager who uses Satanism as an outlet for his own will-to-power would be much more effective if they didn’t use purple on black writing, pentagrams all over their site, and a homepage that canonizes some of their followers/creators.

And their Weltanschauung is not “unique.” It is a replication of philosophies visible across the spectrum of history and brings up issues mankind as struggled with for eons. “Satanism” and “Paganism” have always been labels applied to anything anti-religion (from science to crime). This is perhaps just the most effective contemporary movement that embraces that label and uses it as a focal point for their own resistance. And I say contemporary because yes, past societies have embraced the label as well, and quite effectively.

Further Reading: God

 

How would you game a girl who thinks you are out of her league?

 

Negging
Game a 10
Flip The Script

 

Hey Shark have you ever heard of Lil B. That dude is such an interesting Alpha. He’s something different… I would really like to see what you have to say about him because he gets too much poon but hes also the nicest and wierdest dude. For real if you dont know him check out his videos http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jLY9VQNObgc and his twitter @lilbthebasedgod. Hes got some interesting game

 

The Alphas I know are all conventional Alphas, the Super Alphas I know are all on the hinge of insanity. I find this to be of no surprise, the correlation is almost the norm.

Weirdness + Alpha = Unique
Weirdness + Beta = Weird.
Weirdness + Super Alpha = “Man I’ve never met anyone like him”
Weirdness + Omega = “Hope I never meet another man like him.”

 

Hey Shark,

Here’s a video I found while roaming around the manosphere which I thought you might want to review at some point.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=OEffig_rHZs#at=1039

 

Smith is good at capturing the fundamentals of inner game. Anyone interested in working on that aspect might want to take a look. Amused mastery + an abundance mentality = a vibe that naturally attracts women.

 

OK shark. I was brought up with a very dominant mother, of my father and of myself. I find myself now married to a very strong willed proffessional woman that I sometimes feel that she wears the pants in the family. She claims that she doesnt, that she always asks me what to do when there are are big decision to be make; and I feel that when push comes to shove, when the important decisions in our household come up, or when she has really crossed the line in her disrespect, I step up, whether making the decision, telling her that she is out of line, or raising my voice to intimidate her. The advice I need isn’t to pick women up, although I do struggle with the need to get attention from other women. How can become alpha. I have come up with a triad that I think would do this: a great body, money, and power which would be a reflection of good health, competence at procuring resources, and influence- all of which from an evolutionary stand point help me to survive and reproduce. So what do thing, what should be my main goasl that would help me actualize my alpha self and command my wife’s respect.

On a related note. What is the deal with guys like me seeking the attention of females even though Im already married. I’ve read that men use women as a barameter of self-worth, a way of checking how they are doing in a seckual/social world. What I cant but help think is that I am limiting my potential as a man by my goal being impressing women. It seems that trying to game women to have an intimate friendship with you, or get them to compliment you, seems like a cheap substitute for something more basic that I am missing in my life. I read a post of yours that says that men get into “Game” because what they really want is power over relationships and themselves; and they are unhappy with where they are in their lives. So how would this apply to me. How can I have real power instead of a cheap substitute in the form of garnering the attention of other women. There has to be a more product use of my energy and time that would help me not just feel alpha, but being alpha in a more tangible way. Like I said I have been trying to focus more on working on my body, my career and my social circle. As you can tell that to the end of being alpha to me is about improving the quality of my existence, not about getting married, as that I want to be faithful to my wife ( I did make GOD that promise), but I do need a resolution to some insecurity I cant but my finger on that drives me to seek the approval of other women, I just really need to get this monkey of my back.

Thank shark.

 

The issue you bring up about not wanting a “cheap substitute” reflects the debate between internal and external game. You see, secksual tension is a necessary component of every relationship. There are two ways to build it. You can either have tangible social proof (money, power, fame, etc), which will naturally attract other women to you or at least sub-communicate to your wife that you have reproductive value and thus COULD potentially procure another mate in a scenario where she pushed you away; OR you could go out of your way to garner the attention of other women through game and reproduce the same implications of the former scenario. This might seem superfluous to you as you aren’t accomplishing anything tangible, and perhaps it may seem even self-defeating (“I don’t want my marriage to revolve around my ability to attract OTHER women”) but you must understand that not every guy is willing or capable of acquiring enough social proof to keep themselves at the top of their game. For them, external game may be a cheap substitute, but it IS substitute nonetheless, and better than having a marriage where secksual tension is just plain defunct. Not everyone can be magnificent, but simplicity and a bit of passive effort are respectable alternatives.

In terms of being dominant in your marriage, you can’t focus on just the tangibles, because of the very fact that you are married. Although you may achieve a certain level of intrinsic social proof; unless you implement the attitude that should COME WITH IT, she will continue to understand that you unconditionally love her and respect her more than yourself. The rich and famous beta who still chases after the gold-digging detached and cheating girlfriend is a cliche for a reason. One way or another, your wife MUST KNOW that you are not afraid to lose her. You might love her and you may not WANT to lose her; but you CANNOT “fear” it to the point of desperation.

This is not meant to be interpreted in a negative light. You make a very good point about being faithful to your wife. Do I think you should cheat? No. Do I think you should flirt with other women in a very disrespectful way? No. Do I think that you should suddenly act dominant in a way that damages her self-esteem? No. What I mean is:

Women WANT men that OTHER WOMEN want to fuck, and they WANT husbands that they can capitulate to. They want Men who own them in bed, that are not affected by their tantrums, and that float over their hurdles like the physically empowered beings they are. Your job is not to manipulate your relationship in a way that VIOLATES your marriage, it is only to cater to HER nature and desires. The guilt that comes along with any induced change is a result of social conditioning, and a manifestation of woman’s paradoxical natures. To explain it in the simplest of ways:

Women want husbands who DON’T cheat, but CAN cheat. Women want husbands who don’t TRY to be dominant, but ARE dominant. Women want husbands who don’t WANT them to submit, but whom they would WILLINGLY act submissive towards.

Your question about having your life revolve around women is far more metaphysical than you think, and represents the nonsensical nature of game. You attract women by trying NOT to attract women (amused mastery + aloofness), but in trying not to attract women, aren’t you technically… trying to attract them?

The PUA says his main advantage is that his life revolves around himself, not the women he sleeps with. But if he has made his life revolve around himself, BECAUSE that would get him more women to sleep with… isn’t his life indirectly revolving around women anyways? You might be going to the gym “for yourself,” but isn’t doing something for yourself just an indirect way of increasing your value in terms of OTHER PEOPLE?

Just Food for thought. The point being, as petty as terms like “competitive anxiety” and “social proof” might seem, they are fundamental aspects of every relationship. You NEED them to keep it healthy and stable. Thinking about how futile it is to think in terms of “impressing women” is futile in and of itself.

When you REJECT reality, reality works against you.

There are some key differences in becoming Alpha in a marriage instead of while you’re doing it on your own. You must understand that your wife assumes that you will act a certain way, and this assumption is engraved within the entire subtext of your marriage. You can’t “escape” from it because she’s your WIFE. That’s why you need to do things like go to the gym or work HARD on yourself, because you want your change to be gradual and smooth. A dominant attitude must accompany a change in lifestyle. Eat healthier, think more positively, read more, work harder, etc. Your wife can’t think “why is he suddenly trying to act more dominant?” She must think: “Wow, he’s doing a lot to improve his lifestyle, no wonder he’s acting more like a Man.” The cause for your change must be clear-cut, it cannot seem like a conscious effort to change something between the two of you.

This also means you can’t approach these things with a wishwashy attitude. You are married, that means you need to work HARD. When I say gym I don’t mean gym like everyone else where just having biceps is good enough. I mean like Spartan-high-priest-cut-like-a-blade gym. When I say “work hard on your career” I mean “Holy shit, I’ve never seen him so dedicated to a goal before.” You need to BREAK your wife’s impression of you and remake it into a far more positively masculine and dominant one, that means you need to BREAK all the limits you ever set on yourself.

Be careful so as not to overkill in terms of game. If you end up fighting much MORE after you try and change, you’re doing it the wrong way. No, you shouldn’t supplicate to your wife, but if your marriage starts to become MORE unstable, you are focusing too much on being detached and aloof. Anxiety and jealousy are nuclear emotions, apply them subtly. You must drive your wife’s attraction UP, not her rapport DOWN. As NoSpoon concisely put it, covertly demonstrate that you are a HIGH VALUE MALE.

 

hey man, i really dig your writings. but what if its the kind of thing where it was something she has done in the past that has upset you? like she went out started whoring out while high like a month or two before you were dating? how do you deal with jealousy from past events and of her friends? and what if it ruins your image of her? what are ways to move past those feelings?

 

Never ask or prod around a girl’s past. As men, we tend to want to posses a girl like no other. Any past flourishes will only be perpetuated by that mindset.

If you indirectly find out about her past, because it was that terrible, that’s just a red flag.

In other words, there’s no way of “dealing” with a past. You must shut it out. And if you can’t, it’s a sign you must break up with her.

 

i hv a small dick, slight man boobs, my voice sounds like pussy. hw m i suppose to feel alpha, top of that everytime i see busty titties in frn t of me i become so nervous. wat to do

 

I know someone with a small dick, slight man boobs, and a high voice. He’s an Alpha, has dated a model in the past, and one with tits smaller than his. How does he feel Alpha? It doesn’t make sense does it? That’s the point, irrational confidence, an inexplicable belief in one’s ability to attract others.

 

Shark, since applying alpha male Attitude found in “the black flag”, iv been getting a shitload of bullshit from my Girl, I just received this text… “ok I seriously don’t know what the fuck your problem has been for the past few days but I miss how you used to be nice” how do I go about handling this?

 

Read the above reply about turning Alpha in a marriage. If you apply the jerk card too hard, an attitude of amused mastery will backfire. Build attraction WITHOUT breaking rapport.

Read these articles: Being “too” Alpha
Displaying affection properly

At the same time, remember that a girl will always seek to complain about SOMETHING. A newly applied attitude of aloofness is no exception. What you need to do is read her deeper; find out if she is more secksually attracted to you or if she’s pushing you away because you’re not giving her the right amount of attention.

 

Whats up Shark,

I have a lil dilemma I could use some insight on. In high school I had the meanest Oneitis for this one particular, we were “best friends”. I ended up

making the mistake of letting her know that I liked her, as I was young and inexperienced. I never had the balls to make a move on her, although

hindsight I saw the multiple times I easily could have so. The situation caused me a considerable amount of pain and I never wanted that to happen

again.

Things have changed since then, I have went to many bars and clubs, danced and hooked up with plenty of females. I had sex with a bunch of them. I

have completely changed my ways since then but now I have an issue….

Anyway so heres the issue. This girl recently came back to into my life. She started to hang out with one of our mutual friends and eventually I got

thrown into the mix. We went out and had a good time, she was posted all over my face book how fun it was and posted a quote I said throughout the

night. Then we went out the next weekend (mistake #1) and did not have the same chemistry as the last time. Probably due to the fact that I did a little

nose candy that brought me up then down. Then the next week we were texting or whatever and my friend convinced me against my gut( mistake #2)

To try to take her out on Valentines day. Not in any weird lovey dovey way just for like the hell of it. But I forgot that she haddent been around for years

and probably still saw me how I was. She said some of that I think its better if were just friends bullshit, and I was infuriated, not with pain but with the

fact that I had a second chance to lay the pipe and I fucked it up. I knew right away that I would not be going back to being her best friend like the I

was in HS. In my bitter anger I told her basically I wasnt gunna have that bullshit (mistake #3).

I saw her recently and things were still off. I’m nearly 100% that I will never be able to fuck her after this mishap. But Im gunna have too see her around

at local places plus one of my friends has became her new “best friend” aka bitch boy and I know I will have to see her around. MY QUESTION is can

this situation be repaired? Could I change the situation so that I could still fuck her? If not then Im ready to lay down my bitter coldness nd never speak

a fuckin word to this bitch until the day I fuckin die. Is that the right move? I swear this girl is like kryptonite to me I was compley fine until this bitch

came back into my life

 

The moment you say to yourself “this girl is kryptonite for me,” is the moment you give her complete and utter control over you. No girl, person, or problem has any significance in your life unless you attribute significance to it YOURSELF. And regardless of whether that significance comes in the form of negative or positive energy (I love that girl vs Fuck that bitch), one way or another you are empowering whatever you are giving your attention to.

So the more you call this girl a bitch or think about the negative impact she had on your life, the more you are emotionally investing yourself to her. You need to withdraw and become outcome independent. Whether you fuck her or don’t shouldn’t be a question, it shouldn’t matter to you at all. If it does, you will begin to ebb towards psychological dependency. If you want to truly develop yourself positively, you must relinquish all the things in your life that presupposes negativity, like a poisonous relationship with a girl.

 

Hey Shark,

I work as a delivery driver and I constantly get to meet new woman everyday. Alot of them seem very interested in me and it even seems like we would get along fine. My problem is that I dont know how to close in such a short time. I go to deliver food, there is short time for small talk and I can say pretty much just about anything because I most probably wont run into this person again. Could you please give advice on how to close or do a pick up during really quick situations like these and still retain plausible deniability.
Do you have an idea for some sort of assignment or project I can do, such as get atleast 1 numbers from the girls I deliver to once a day.

And…. thank you very much Shark! Only two months ago I couln’t even look a girl in the eye. Thanks to you, I constantly learn new things from every interaction.

 

See the first comment here, you need to PUSH for the close, not wonder if you CAN close or not. Getting rejected at every opportunity is nothing compared to getting over your fear of failing to close. What’s stopping you is a sense of internal resistance, something you need to forcefully overcome just like approach anxiety.

Worst case scenario, close with plausible deniability. It’ll be easier than trying to close with direct game. I assume you sometimes run into the same girl two or three times while working? Close later on with

You: “Yah sorry, I got hungry on the way here so I had a slice of your pie”
Her: [insert feminine giggle or feminist chaos punch]
You: “You should come by where I work, I’m bored as hell sitting there all the time.”

Escalate, ask for her number, etc. Frame + body language need to be strong, don’t come off as shy or hesitant like you rehearsed this after all the previous times you met her.

Or maybe broken man game:

You: [looking depressed as fuck]
Her: “Why do you look so down?”
You: [insert diabolical smirk] “Heartbreak sucks”
Her: [insert feminine "awwwwwww" or feminist aerial attack]
You: “Yah… thank god my ex isn’t as cute as you or else I doubt I’d be able to keep working”

etc

 

I’ve been isolated for a few months now, no friends or anything. Although I’ve been able to study up on game and all that, I have trouble even talking to another person, my voice gets cracked, I stutter, can’t even hold a good conversation anymore. Anything you suggest to get my talking skills back? I’ve never had an issue with it before, but every time I talk I can’t stand how my voice sounds. What would you suggest for this? I figure getting the skill of making friends back is a necessary requirement before I can even think about girls.

Thanks

 

Mystery’s 30 day challenge. Go out for 30 days and talk to a minimum of 15 strangers each day.

 

Hey Shark,

I really see the value in your post about how to fight with your girlfriend. However I’ve read some advice (from a woman) on why women even pick fights or shit test (she doesn’t actually use the term). You’d say she automatically presupposes attraction when dispensing this advice, but I’ve had situations work where my common sense says whatever girl I’m seeing NEEDS to fight for reasons that seem obvious by game standards (I’ve been giving mixed signals, she’s suddenly a brunette, and asking for items she “anchored” in my apartment, is in sudden bitch mode, and shooting criticisms at me in front of her friends)—she must have low interest and be preparing herself for a new relationship.

BUT, before I read game simply being a human being allowed me to be aware of this possible explanation while also knowing “a hurt ego is a mean ego”. I should interpret this as “she has no idea what I’m thinking, has another option, wants to be with me, but HAS to know I genuinely give a shit before things go any further! She knows the only way she can know for sure is if she gets me upset and I spit out honesty”. This is NOT a time to soft next, worry about shit tests, state control, or calming things down!

The author of the article says the reason logic doesn’t work in emotional arguments is simple:

Emotional problems can only be solved with more emotion

Shark, you’ve said not to answer an accusation of not caring about your girl with evidence to the contrary:

Her: You NEVER take me out!
You: We went to Applebee’s last Tuesday!

The author says bringing up the MOUNTAIN of contradicting evidence only aggravates the problem because you could be doing all those things for a thousand other ulterior motives. The proper response to any accusation that implies “you don’t care about me!” is to get UPSET, DISTRESSED, ANGRY, something! However the fuck you feel. Something congruent with how you would react if your intentions were genuine.

I’ve bottled up true emotions with girls I cared about possibly out of some misguided fear of looking irrational, immature, weak, crazy, letting things spiral out of control (or mostly because I see I saw it as pointless) all while knowing this was exactly what these “crazy bitches” were doing for me.

Here’s the the link to page two of the site:

http://www.prettyfedup.com/pfu/personalangst/arguewithyourgirlfriend2.htm

If you have time for it. The whole thing’s pretty long, (kinda like this comment). But the girl seems cool, if a little biased. Any thoughts, Sensei? Help! *he yells in a ‘high-pitched tone’ while flailing his arms to ‘convey DISTRESS’”

 

Her description of the scenario is partly correct, but alas, she too assumes attraction.

Imagine you get into said emotional problem with your girlfriend. You want to solve it. If she is HIGHLY interested in you, then the issue would be of rapport. Which means you must indicate to her, EMOTIONALLY, that are INDEED invested. That means you throw shit, act pissed off, and upset. In other words, signal to her that you ARE invested in your relationship. Trying to disarm it with aloofness would only aggravate the situation by making the lack of rapport in your relationship more evident. So if attraction ALREADY EXISTS, you may act in accord with her advice.

Bringing up contradictory examples is of course the bane of all male tendencies. It may seem logical to present your argument in terms of empirical evidence but that does only two things:

(a) Tells her that she should come even MORE prepared to the next fight
(b) Fails to communicate the emotional message to her hamster.

If your problem was ATTRACTION on the other hand, soliciting an emotional response would do you no good. She would only lose more respect for you if she thought she could break you further.

Hence why both Alpha signaling + Beta signaling are necessary in relationships. At rare occasions you want to throw tantrums, buy flowers, run vulnerability game, or whisper sweet shit to her. At other times, you want to play up c/f, ignore her shit tests, not respond to her text, and flirt with another girl. The problem with most feminized vs masculinized advice is they see it ONE WAY OR ANOTHER. Women tell you “just be nice” or “be emotional.” Men tell you “Don’t be emotional at all.” The CORRECT answer is a blend of BOTH. Exactly what that blend constitutes can only be determined by you and your take on the relationship.

 

Shark, where would you draw the line between white knighting and standing up for your girl?

 

A tough question, impossible to answer. Depends entirely on the situation and your dynamic with her. The best I can tell you is, use the knowledge in game to analyze each experience to the best of your ability.

 

Hey shark, I have a question but fuck, but first

After reading your article called long distance, the 5th paragraph really stood out to me.

” And on the other hand, once you are perceived to be Alpha, a Halo effect takes place and all your rather dubious behavior somehow gets rationalized under a nonsensical light. ”

It took me a minute to get the MAIN concept at first, when I first started learning about game I was I guess to focused on those magical line/ways routines etc on how to pick up women when the key was in front of me the whole time. I am not saying that learning some of things are bad because their not its just that they shouldn’t be your main focus. After reading your latest Alpha post and re-reading the halo effect I am strongly starting to grasp the Idea of how you control how people precieve you, I think that deep down everyone knows this but at the same time they dont know if you know what I mean.

Anyways not to get off topic, first impressions are really important agreed, well my spring break is coming to an end and when I do go back to school this coming monday I want to rewright myself. Now Iv been reading your blog for some months now and Iv started to master body language and aloofness, that being said no one will think that I changed over night, im sure im precieved as alpha , its just that now I want to amplify things , Iv always let me take that back used to think that I was a shitty conversationalist so I was kinda shy and used my new found knowledge to be aloof and not say much of anything, that can only take you so far becuase being sexy and good body language is not going to get you laid alone. With this new mindset I plan on start talking alot more basically become the man I was ment to be.

My question for you is, what are some crazy/out of the ordinary/ unique/cool/ different/ stand out from other guy ways to make a good first impression? I want to imprint on everyone “Wow I didn’t know Chris could be this fun, I want to start talking to that guy” and ” Where has this guy been hiding”

Suggestions would be highly appreciated, your Dedicated-Pussy-Assasin Chris H

 

 

Two things: The 30 day challenged I outlined for someone above. Go out for 30 days in a row and talk to a minimum of 15 people every day. And, work on something that you can be known for.

It is indeed true that the assumptions made by the people around you, especially those who think you ARE beta at the very core of your personality, will hold you back. You must disengage from them as much as possible otherwise you will only encumber your progress. Believe it or not, most people DON’T want you to change, even for the better. The few who do are the only real friends you have. Remember that always.

As far as making a good first impression, you have two options. Either preceding social proof or an untouchable frame. She will either have heard of you before (girls talk), or you can talk to her without breaking eye contact, neg her, and act in all the ways a man of ability would act.

Don’t worry about doing something “impressive” on your first chance, that will only set you up for a qualifying mentality that will hinder you in the future if anything. You don’t need to crush a block of ice to let a girl know she can’t fuk with your frame, you just need to look at a block of ice and pretend like you could crush it…if you wanted to.

 

how to make a good first impression

 

26 Responses to “Comments”

  • Chris H

    Thank you

  • Necorochi

    “You don’t need to crush a block of ice to let a girl know she can’t fuk with your frame, you just need to look at a block of ice and pretend like you could crush it…if you wanted to.”

    After the comma Substitue “block of ice” with girl and “crush it” to fuck it. Then you have Gold.

    Shark your creating a monster.

  • Marek

    Shark how do you know if your girlfriend is cheating? In what timeframe does it become evident? I assume it is a “depends on the situation” question, but I’d gladly hear some empirical answers. I’ve had this problem in every relationship till now (I almost exclusively had LTRs) and it’s pissing me off that I’m acting paranoid YET AGAIN. Or am I? Anyways, I know it’s holding me back in everything else I try to do so I have to deal with it. Can you help me?

    • Necorochi

      My comment below is pretaining to you.

    • ryan

      Necorochi’s comment is good, and you should read this as well:

      http://www.solvemygirlproblems.com/2012/02/let-go/

      I’ve been struggling with this part of controlling my emotions for the better part of my young adult life, but it really is the letting go of your worry that will make you feel better. I have my good and bad days, but I’ll be damned if those good days don’t feel fucking outstanding. Hang in there, tape the phrase “LET GO” all over your damn house, constantly remind yourself aloud, and before too long, you’ll be alright. Do work.

  • BkTom

    first of all, i just wanna tell all you’r readers that they really dont understand the value and depth of this blog (maybe a small few who really get what it’s about like myself)

    so with that being said, i just wanna tell how my life has drastically changed in the past few months since i started reading here. it took me a while and even though i always UNDERSTAND what i’m reading and the ideas being conveyed, you dont really get ‘get it’ till a few days or weeks later while you let it swirl around in your head and observe your own present and previous interactions. we ALL have it in us to be what we were born to be; men. I’ve thrown out the idea of alpha,beta jerk etc from my mental dictionary. im never sitting here thinking “am i alpha yet? or “fuck that was so beta of me” or any pointless shit like that.

    ive always considered myself to have a dominant personality, a few have even told me im “over-bearing” at times, and with the death of 2 LTR’sin my early 20s my game fucking died and it never continued to develope even though i was doing jsut fine before then. fast forward now, im 28 look like im 24 and stopped making excuses for all the shit i have “no control over” shit i even got to a point where i was drunk with the newfound feeling of freedom and power and did stupid shit that i can only laugh about now. i got out of my comfort zone and each time i do it, it gets easier but i realized if i didnt stop i would go a route i didnt want to and be internally corrupted i had to balance out the feeling of power within me.

    you see, once you develope to a certain point, once you become “alpha” (god i hate that term) the halo effect kicks in withe veryone around you. you can almost smell vagina juice flowing when women give you that look in the eyes even from the girls who actively try not to show any IOI’s but i know better their cues are more subtle. lesser men’s testicles shrivel when you enter a room, nothing is more threatening or welcoming then me. some will resent you because they arent what you are but most people, especially women, want to bask in your aura other males want to be your friend.

    your the best at your job because you believe you are, nobody really sees your mistakes as mistakes. ive gotten so good at bullshitting my way out of so much shit that i almost feel bad about it.

    i work all day and hit the gym for 2-3 hours a night and average about 4 hours of sleep and my body has gotten used to it. all in the name of not being physically broken and poor at my fathers age of 52

    the world becomes your playground, there is negativity only where you allow it to exist. i still have my ups and downs about what its all worth but at the end of the day i remind myself that i am alive and surviving on my own 2 feet and that’s all that matters.

    i’d like to post a couple of field reports later on shark, its unbelievable how after a while your just on autopilot you dont really analyze anything it all flows naturally but you can look back and break it all down step by step if you have to.

    so for all you guys incorporating too much the girl aspect of game from this blog into your life.

    re-read this whole fucking blog start to finish

    and i know i still have a long way to go

  • Necorochi

    Shark posted about this before. You have to come to terms with that fact that she could be cheating write now, their is no proven way to find out if she is cheating. Unless you put her on one of those reality shows were they secretly follow her around then bust her on camera. Your never going to know exactly what she is doing you just have to come to terms with it like everybody else. Now if you do catch her cheating , the answer is rather simple. DUMP HER

  • reino

    I don’t know if this is the right place to give feedback on the site, but here it goes anyway. I’d appreciate if you added the title of the article in the tag of the page, so that it shows it on the tab of the page. The reason is that I very commonly send the articles to my Kindle, and the problem is that in the list of documents it only shows “Solve My Girl Problems” for every article and makes it very difficult to differentiate them.

    Thanks a lot for a great blog.

  • reino

    “My question for you is, what are some crazy/out of the ordinary/ unique/cool/ different/ stand out from other guy ways to make a good first impression?”

    My advice is to break the pattern of how girls experience their daily life. Don’t be like every other guy just standing there quiet minding their business. Be aware of your surroundings and constantly try to figure out ways how you could break into girls reality. You may not come up with something fitting when the opportunity arises, but moments later it might pop into your head. Think of it as muscle that gets better the more you use it, it’s part of being a great conversationalist.

    Just remember that it’s not about figuring out something clever or witty in order to impress the girl. It should come off as non-needy, i.e. as if you just have an outgoing personality and wanted to make a remark on the girl’s outfit or appearance.

  • Crixus

    Shark,

    First up, respect to your book and site. Truthfully, it is refreshing to read something I can relate to and share identical views and mentality to the world.

    There is one thing that I have been working on I would like to get your input/ideas on.

    I am currently in a deep, healthy and honest relationship with a bi-sexual woman. In the past thirteen months we have been in two threesomes. With women who were clearly interested in us and all I had to do was take them to bed.

    I have always been under the impression that the girls should be the fantasy and that she should be doing most of the escalating, flirting. While I still maintain a leading role and also doing my share of flirting and escalating… Just, not as much as her. My mentality and frame has always been one, of “Conan, sitting on his throne while two girls flirt and giggle amongst each other on the floor grasping his legs”.

    The problem I see is she is very introverted and extremely shy when it comes to making a first move or escalating as much as she wants to. So at times, it seems like she’s not interested at all and it makes it more confusing for our target when I am the only one doing any of the flirting and physical escalating.

    We’re very social, attractive, fun, aware of PU and three months ago I decided we should work on this together properly as a couple. She is very keen, as she would like to get past her shyness.

    What sort of process would you recommend or what advice would you give to go about picking up the girls we want whenever we want in a more reliable and efficient manner that suits us?

  • Jaws

    Hey Shark How should I act towards my mom/family?? Should I allow myself to be AMOGed by my dad? Should I run game on my mom?? lmao….In my case I am super affectionate and lovey with my mom and I defend her if someone says shit. But at the same time I dominate her and tell her what to do. IDk I thought it would be interesting to hear what u had to say.

  • James

    is it ok to wish my ex happy birthday, (who oviously made it clear that she likes me but we arnt in speaking terms). i love her, she is not like the rest of the bitches, i kno if i wish her im losing ground but it doesnt relly matter anymore because we are not even in the same country, her bday isin mar 29th. i thought abt it a lot, i wanna wish her HBD bcuz she earned it (she was checking up on me for 2 yrs twice a day) so what do u think shark ? should i just man up and fucking do it, or ball up and not do it ? (btw i think its abt time m sry u find so many mistakes in my grammer (first im international, Second i always have something in my hand while typing)

  • misterbill

    Hi Shark,
    I have a question for you (and anyone else here that wants to chime in) about how I handled an AMOG situation that came up last week. A friend of mine invited me over to his cousin’s house. while I was there his cousin’s wife stole the camp chair I had been sitting in and gave me a crappy kitchen chair to sit on. we joked and gave each other crap and I started rocking on the chair. she asked me to stop because I might break it. I told her I wan’t going to break it and she asked what i would do if I did. “Say sorry I guess.” was my reply; but I got up, turned the chair around and sat on it backwards. THEN her husband asked if I was going to buy him a new kitchen set if I broke the chair. I said “no…” he said, “yeah.” I said, “I don’t think so.” he said, “I do.” so I said, “uh. No.” to which he replied well you can get out of my yard then.” so I said “see ya later then!”, got up and left. My friend, his wife, and his cousin’s wife all got upset at ME. because I apparently I should have said I was just joking. But I WASN’T. If I had broken the chair I’d have replaced it or fixed it, but I was not about to agree to buy a new kitchen set on the off chance that I broke his crappy chair. I felt I handled that like an alpha. I was a guest and I wasn’t about to get into a fist fight with the guy, but I wasn’t going to back down as the price of admission to his house. what are your thoughts?

    • Necorochi

      I would have been like ” Well you shouldn’t of stole my chair you dumb bitch” *Slaps her* turns around *Knocks out husband* Ha ha No don’t do that. You would defuse it. I wouldn’t of acknowledged it when she told you to stop. Just straight up ignore her now if she bit the bait she would of gotten even more pissed saying shit like ” I know you heard me” and “Stop!” Possibly raising her voice. ” Keep rocking the chair, milk it for all its worth for her giving you that bitch attitude. From what you KNEW it seems like you did everything write, you stuck to your principles and didn’t backslide even if it was a hard choice to make.
      Think of it this way

      When a beta acts mad, he’s insecure. When an Alpha acts mad, he’s sticking to his principles.

      • misterbill

        well the problem wasn’t really with the girl. when I realized she was actually concerned that i would break the chair, I stopped rocking. it was AFTER that, that her husband decided to make an issue out of it. His wife was fine. until I left. then everyone was upset becuase I they thought I should have just backed down to her husband. the girls still aren’t talking to me. it’s crazy. I feel bad becuase I enjoyed their company, but I apologized once for upsetting them and I am not going to apologize again. I’m just wondering if there was a more alpha way to handle the dick measuring contest her husband started.

        • Necorochi

          I’m sure their’s some in genius way to diffuse the situation with the husband but from what I know you didn’t let him get the satisfaction you by admitting you would buy a new set and you stuck to your principles and didn’t backslide. So my hat is off to you.

    • Necorochi

      To add to my comment , you would eventually stop rocking the chair just milk her bitch attitude without saying anything. It also seems like she wanted your attention since she stole your chair and shit tested you like that but then again she could just have those balls because she feels secure with her husband around.

    • B

      In my opinion there is a good way to handle things like this. When someone makes a problem out of nothing (like this) in order to assert their authority ( or lack of), make it a bigger problem. Allow me to explain. Don’t get mad, don’t yell, but acknowledge the issue, and blow it up a bit. For example, in this situation, you get up, slide the chair towards the woman and say, “Here, if it’s an issue I can stand.” or something similar, while keeping your cool. It may seem like a little much, but it instantly puts them in a qualifying mentality, they are forced to diffuse the situation they created by offering you a seat, or taking their words back. If instead, they laugh and say okay then stand, well they are shitty hosts so you bounce fuckem.

  • Tom

    You seem very into the business and finance world, and I’m interested in getting into stocks myself. If you could link me to an article, book, or write a post yourself on where to begin I would be grateful. I’ve never really been able to find anything useful.

  • John

    Shark, does de-sexualising a girl make you more attractive to her? As in flipping the friend-zone script, making her listen to your woman ‘troubles’ (heh), teasing her about liking you but disqualifying her, etc.

  • Evan

    I’ll be interviewing for an investing internship with the Nittany Lion Fund this summer and was wondering if you had any advice on interviews. It seems like you have a good understanding on investing, what advice do you have for someone who is still very new to the game? Anything other than read Oasis guides and keep current with the Markets and the WSJ

    http://wallst.smeal.psu.edu/nittany-lion-fund

  • Greg Scott

    Golden information. Luckily I found your site by accident, & guess what. I bookmarked it!

  • Anti-Shark.

    Re: “A girl will not escalate for you. Even if she likes you, YOU have to take that mutual attraction a step further. If you don’t, the both of you are missing out on a potentially great experience, whether a relationship or not, all because you didn’t have the balls to push it further.”

    Shark, where do you get this idea? What makes you think women are like this? This might be true for marriage and relationship, but lesser true for friendship or conversations.

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