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Oneits again, hehehe!
Good job!
I have a question.
You and Roissy says that show Vulnerability in the right moment is a powerful game tool.
Shark, You never wrote a post about “how to show vulnerability in a relationship”. Can you do it ?
Vulnerability game in a relationship isn’t so much about showing vulnerabilities, i e; expounding on your insecurities, as it is about showing that you have a vulnerable side and POSSIBLE vulnerabilities yet to be unearthed. Women chase what they can’t have, and in a relationship, they already have your exclusive intimacy. What they don’t have, and what they crave, is access to the more guarded parts of your mind and a monopoly over your attention. The irony behind it being that if you do hand these things over, there’s nothing else to chase and she loses her interest in the relationship. Remember cat string thing, a cat only chases the ball that moves in front of it; but loses interest if it either catches it or if it moves too far away. This is the essence of vulnerability game. If you blatantly come out with your insecurities, there’s no mystery behind it. On the other hand, if you run masculine game too hard and come off as a rock, there’s nothing for her to chase. You want to show flashes of vulnerability to spike her curiosity. Some ideas to illustrate:
You were heart broken before and no longer believe in love (she will work to prove that it’s real)
You’re insecure about achieving your dreams, you don’t know if it’ll be possible but you’re willing to work to death to try it (she will work to support you and not bother you when you’re busy)
You’re unsure if it’s ever safe to open up to someone (she tries to get you to open up)
Notice that all of these insecurities come in very abstract and divine forms. “I’m insecure that I might not be able to live up to my full potential” is very different from “I’m secure that you might be cheating on me.” The former causes someone to look up to you, and for your ego to push yourself harder. The latter makes you over protective and whiny.
shark, is there ever a time when it is appropriate to fight for a girl- metaphorically speaking? for example, if you were TOO much of an asshole and actually really hurt her, is it ok to be a beta and ask for her forgiveness? how would you handle this? no contact isn’t working
I answered a very similar question on the pick-up-artist-forum recently, I’ll copy and paste my response:
If you do something that breaks rapport on an extreme level, whether it be cheating or yelling the shit out of her, DO NOT back pedal. Instinctively when men do something wrong on this level, we apologize dearly because we’ve been conditioned to believe that it’s the right thing to do. But often times, the right thing to do morally is not the best thing to do for a relationship. Rapport and attraction have an interesting dynamic. When you build attraction, you can break rapport. But you build rapport, you must never break attraction. Remember that women are NOT turned on by men they only have rapport with, the subtext of attraction is a critical element. Without it, all rapport gets funneled through an LJBF filter.
Going back to your example, after you yell at a girl, you’ve broken rapport and must find someway to rebuild it. But by apologizing and sending flowers, you attempt to build it while SUPPLICATING. She might think of you as a “nicer” person now, but you strip yourself of the higher value allure that draws her to you in the first place. An example of building rapport WITHOUT taking away attraction:
You yell at her. She cries. You guys don’t talk for a week. She finds out you’re “talking” to some other girl. She eventually texts to “talk about stuff.” She says “wtf is wrong with you?” when you guys meet up. You grab her and tell her “You’ll never know how much I love you” and then just walk away. No-contact for another week or two, let her imagination and anxiety run wild. From my experience, this routine works 95% of the time.
That 1 statement, delivered powerfully, “You’ll never know how much I love you,” is all the rapport you will ever need in a relationship. No flowers, gifts, texts, voice mails, nothing. Just that and be gone. That + mystery and dread = Pussy Quakes.
When a girl wants to avoid you because she’s worried about something, you must tell her “I’m avoiding you because I’m a monster” or some shit like that. The genius of it is how little it makes sense. It is logically incongruent, yet in the eyes of a woman, you are now what SHE cannot have, even though it is technically her who is not supposed to want you. Never be angry that women do not abide by the rules of logic, celebrate it and use it to your advantage.
I wouldn’t say she’s in control right now as if you’ve gamed a girl correctly, your dominance becomes somewhat hard-wired into your dynamic with her. But she’s definitely gaining it and you’ve given her hand by conceding to her frame.
It’s also important that you understand this whole thing about you yelling is almost insignificant. I have seen guys do way more fucked up shit and suffer little to no consequences for it. These things come off as fucked up because we’ve been trained to believe they are so supremely fucked up. So when they happen, the girl ACTS like you just murdered Gandhi. And if you CONCEDE TO HER FRAME and apologize a thousand times for it, you only AGREE with her that what you did was wrong and that you now need to supplicate. After a bit of confirmation theory and post-hoc rationalization kicks in, she keeps going off on it. Remember that women will do whatever it takes to preserve their agency, it is an extension of the female imperative. She is compelled by an implicit need to dominate your attention and turn you into a beta orbiter; this whole fiasco is just another opportunity for her to say “You fucked up, gimme what I want.” The more you treat an issue like an important issue, the more ammo you give her.
Your relationship isn’t stagnant, it’s just that she is freezing you out. And it’s so easy for her because right now she is in the power position. It’s always harder for the person WAITING for something to happen, than it is for the person who’s waiting to MAKE something happen. So long as she feels no anxiety about actually losing you, there will be no strong motivating force to push her to get you back. We only chase the things that run away from us, are you running away or towards her?
Game is counter intuitive, inaction is often the best course of action.
Her saying that you’re moving too fast is not what she literally “means.” Remember that a girl only mirrors her internal emotional state. What you did by flipping out was show that there’s something INCONGRUENT about you. And when a girl finds something incongruent about the guy she likes, she immediately takes a step back to re-evaluate the relationship. This is when she will say something like, “I think we’re moving too fast” or “I think we’re too attached.” Whatever cliche logical explanation she has seen in movies and tabloids will be the one to leave her mouth.
Unfortunately, when this happens, guys tend to PULL back harder when you’re supposed to do the opposite. 99% of the time a girl is not breaking up with you for the reason she is saying she’s breaking up with you. In most cases like yours, it will ironically happen because of a lack of ATTRACTION, not rapport. The guy does something fucked up, believes he fucked up, and supplicates to make up for it sooooo much that the girl gains a disproportionate amount of power and loses all attraction for him.
And when/if she gets back with you, pay no attention to this. Never bring it up or randomly apologize for it. When you’re an Alpha, a halo affect takes place. Your girl will rationalize every single one of your mistakes if she wants you bad enough. Men underestimate the power of power itself too often. It is simply unfathomable how strong the female inclination to submit to a dominant cock is.
The only time no-contact doesn’t work is when your relationship is already too broken for it to work. Either you were TOO MUCH of an asshole and your relationship now has emotional baggage – you’re better off building a new one. Or, she already lost interest and this asshole move was the excuse she needed to dump you. Otherwise, you’re not waiting long enough for the effect of no-contact to kick in (usually 4-6 weeks but could be longer).
Hey Shark, Kinda needed to read this today. Ex wants me back. We went through a sort of honeymoon period where we spent some time together, although I told her I couldn’t just take her back without considering the future and what I wanted. She slept around a bit since we broke up and I haven’t.
So last night I finally slept with another girl. Cute, fun to be around, she smokes which is a turn off, sex was ok, but not near as good as with my ex…it was kinda fumbling in the dark. I feel like a machine with my ex, with this girl I honestly don’t know if she was faking or not, and didn’t care much really. New girl is getting kinda clingy, I’m keeping her at arms length.
Here’s the issue. After sex, I was pretty sure I wanted my ex back…this wasn’t as good as what I could be having, plus there are solid feelings between us. I’m not going to jump the gun, I’m going to go out and meet more women, sleep with more to see what I’m missing. But is it oneitis every time I think of my ex? Can I not legitimately want to be with her as a better girl than those I’ve been meeting, or would you chalk it up to fear and what’s easy?
There needs to be a term for this reaction, something like PBDO (Post-breakup-Dick-Oneitis). When your ex re-enters the secksual market as a free agent, the competitive part of your mind that seeks to minimize paternal risk wants to fuck her more and more because it unconsciously understands that there is a greater chance of her now getting impregnated by another man. A quick google search would reveal a conclusive number of studies, like this one, that support the idea of sperm competition and higher secks drives among men with multiple or unreliable partners.
But in a species like ours, where the male invests all his resources in raising children inside a monogamous couple, spending them into genetically unrelated offspring means a biological disaster. For example, when men spend more time away from their partners (when their partners could get the opportunity to mate with other males), the number of sperm cells per similar sperm volumes rises sharply.
In other words, even if you think you objectively remember secks being better with your ex; you can’t trust your mind. It’s more than likely that your brain is DECREASING the pleasure of having secks with other women because of a PDBO reaction.
The solution being what you already suggested, keep fucking more and more women, preferably ones you find more physically attractive than your ex. The real trick though, is going to be finding a girl who makes you work for it. Think of emotional investment as a form of capital. Right now, 90% of yours is invested into your ex. A cute, but clingy girl, will make it too easy. It’ll shift only 5% of your previous investment, still keeping you 85% invested into your ex. But a girl as cute as your ex, who doesn’t put out until you put in work, will cause much more mental mayhem. And if she occasionally distances herself and acts in all the capricious and coy ways men find irresistible, she may cause a full turn around.
For me to chalk it up as fear without knowing anything more about your relationship would be far too naive. I don’t know enough about either of you, or your dynamic with her. You’ll have to do your best to gauge the chances yourself – do you want her out of fear and dependency or is this something you’d pursue regardless? By best advice would be; if you want to play it safe, cut it loose. If you want to play the odds, go for it but be weary of signs of psychological dependency and resentment. The last thing you want is to complacently pull yourself back into a soul sucking relationship.
I have a girl in my mind that I really love, and I want to improve our relationship, I have known her for a good 7 years but I don’t know if I should ask her out, could someone plz help as I have no idea how to advance our relationship.
7 years? She has friend-zoned you hard. Pray for divine intervention.
Shark,
My name’s Carlo and I’m from the Philippines (dunno if you’ve heard of it, but yes you have a reader here). I’m 18 and currently in college. About 2 months ago I found your website at a time that couldn’t have been any better, fate perhaps? To cut the story short, I played my then girlfriend for my ex and for another girl. And I got shit for it. Back then, I was dumb founded, I had no idea what the hell happened and I was even surprised with my actions. After reading some of your posts I realized, I acted the way a guy would. I cheated on her cause she withdrew sex (cause of her belief in purity, and how she’ll only have sex with me if I marry her), this girl was something else, the epitome of a disillusioned diva (probably cause of her past and background of family). She’s probably an 8, but her knowledge and control of social dynamics was far greater, I didn’t stand a chance. Though, what surprised me was that she had sex with me a week before she found out (this probably cause she sensed that I was talking to other girls, building attraction, etc.) I was a happy blind man, not realizing that THAT sex was cause she felt obliged to give it to me, not because she wanted to. Hell of a difference, it sucked btw. Anyway it haunts me when I think back, cause I realize how much of a cunt I was. And I thank you for initiating the first real time my eyes were opened to the world, oh the place where opportunists thrive and the naive succumb to the pitfalls of feminism and content never finding their purpose in life.
Now I have a couple of things that i’d like to ask you, cause I’m new to all this. And my mind is craving for enlightenment, and the problem is I have no real mentor, if ever there is an unplugged alpha here, I will never find him. So here:
1. As you might’ve noticed, asian countries (well at least us) probably fueled feminism to greater heights. Women are seen as prizes, goals, bragging rights, etc.; most of the middle class to higher classes of women probably don’t know how to drive and don’t even want to work. This then gives them a greater extent of control over the sexual market here, since they realize that their pussy can actually suffice their needs and wants. I see my facebook friends posting shit about how they found the love of their life and people commenting and liking it, even guys. I see boyfriends carrying bags, paying for everything, doing extra gay things to get the girl’s attention back; this then supports the actions of these people making them even more lost into the matrix. Now I’d like to know how exactly do you battle a culture of this? How do you go against the existing social structure when even your own family and friends support it and going against it will get you into trouble? Now I tried being aloof, but it still gets to me. I’d just love to damage that pedestal they’re all sitting on.
2. When exactly did human beings develop the idea of feminism, qualifying, and idealism? Was it bound to happen? Or was there a certain point in history that catapulted us into this kind of social structure? And if we knew what exactly this event was, can we use it again to effect change? Is that even possible now? This is probably a stupid question, since even adam and eve showed the need to qualify themselves. But if there is another answer, I’d like to know.
3. How do you find your purpose in life? Is it supposed to be something innate that you should just know, cause what if the stimuli that you were exposed to growing up affected you’re personality and thoughts in a way that you don’t really know what makes you happy and what you’re supposed to do (though this is inevitable, I’m talking about something that forced itself in your thoughts because this is what you were told to believe)? How then do you find that thing that will give you access (if you persist) to unlimited will power?
That’s it for now, I still have a lot more to ask though. Things that go beyond the surface of daily life. Thank you in advance, and again you have no idea how much you’ve helped me grow and understand myself better. If I ever meet you one day, i’d like to test how much of a man I’ve become against THE shark. Hahaha cheers! Best wishes to us.
As a response to your prelude: A girl having secks with you because she felt pressured into it versus because she spontaneously wanted to is one and the same. There is no shame to be felt about it, no reason that you should let it haunt you. In a world where purity has become a sensationalized myth, Machiavellian methods will truncate idealized romance. You feel like it sucks because you’ve been conditioned to think that it sucks. It’s a operative social convention aimed at preserving female agency by regarding intimacy as a reward for men rather than as a way for women to keep their men (the way it should be). Women are supposed to use secks to get relationships and men are supposed to use relationships to get secks. But in our world, women use their presence to get relationships and men are taught that they must be complicit with that system to get secks in the first place – which ironically dehydrates female passion. You witnessed this first hand; like you said, your girlfriend wanted to have secks with you when she detected that your attention started to shift towards other women. She gave you shit for it afterwards because she felt hoodwinked, but it was really her duping herself. Remember, always judge a girl by her actions rather than her words. She didn’t have secks with you when you were loyal. When you began to allude that you may be cheating on her, she had secks with you. What does that tell you about the nature of women? Be at peace with yourself, there is no shame in being a Man.
(1) In overly betatized societies, cultures, and communities; aloof cold asshole game will get pussies vibrating at light-speed frequencies. Because women expect to be pedestalized by men they are interested in, your infallible state control and perfect discipline will get them intrigued. The Don Juan is always the exception. He is the guy every girl is interested in because he does NOT act like every other guy. But I suspect you are already aware of this, which is why you were able to date 3 girls concurrently.
Your real challenge is not going to be to battle the culture you’re in, it’s going to be to escape that battle. Think about it this way, I say that I want all men to become Alphas, but do I really? If everyone around me suddenly stepped their game up, it would mean less pussy for me. The more your culture cultivates betas and pedestalized women, the more adept you will be at taking advantage of that culture. Women sitting atop sky high ego totems are the easiest to game – drop a few negs and bam; they’re seeking qualification from you. And betas acting desperate and needy leave more secksually arid women seeking attention from a guy like you. Let go of the hatred you feel for feminism – always be the UNCARING ASSHOLE rather than the caring asshole. You don’t want to be the guy who buys into societal myths, but neither do you want to be the cultural renegade who lets every little thing phase him. Let go of everything and embrace the world as it is.
(2) Qualifying has existed for as long as inter-gender dynamics has (since there was both a male and a female gender). It’s just the method through which one organism of a secks shows that he/she is a viable mate for someone of the opposite secks. Feminism took off I’d say in the last 100 years or so, within the context of the post-secksual revolution. We can indeed use this to affect change; feminism has been so effective because it has encompassed both the micro and macro stages. You see it governing major social changes, but at the same time, influencing a relationship in a far away part of the world. Masculinity must do the same. It needs to trickle down and function on a covert level.
(3) This is a rather interesting question, and your reasoning is correct. Our identity affects the social apparatus around us, but at the same time, our social apparatus affects our identity. Trying to figure out your “true self” in a vacuum is impossible. For instance, you may consider yourself apart of a certain religion, but you CANNOT ignore the possibility that had you been born to a different culture, your conception of truth would be completely different, and thus, you would have a radically different perception of self.
So how do you find your purpose in a life where external purposes can’t be spliced from internal ones? You can’t. It might be a scary thought for some, but the world is only what you make of it. In fact, there is no such thing as purpose nor a dichotomy between internal and external purpose. It does not intrinsically exist in this world. The word is a label given to an imaginary idea that weak people invented to justify the existence of mankind, to give it value in an infinite cosmos where we are only specks. Your job is to move past that restraint. To conceive a world where your purpose is defined however you want to define it. Read my post on Nuggets of Gold, especially point #2. I never found a purpose I was satisified with until I ripped through 15 or 20 other ones. To find yours, you need to live life fearlessly and not be afraid to jump into things. Never worry that you’re not fulfilling your “true purpose,” in life. Find the things that you love and pursue them with a never ending audacity.
Shark, I’m at an impass. I’m going to develop a product with a business partner of mine and I have two obvious courses of action I could take:
One is we work with a company a co-worker of mine has founded (let’s call this co-worker Nick), we leverage their marketing and design skills, continue to be involved in the community they’re creating (which is great for brainstorming and putting pen to paper), and learn a thing or two. On top of that there’s a programmer who works right beside and on the same team as Nick, who is also interested in working with me and my business partner. I get along well with this programmer and would like to leverage his talents. Nick would also like him to work with his company. Taking this route means forgoing IP to our product in exchange for an agreed upon portion of sales and effectively working under Nick (this is what would infuriate me most).
The other is that we get my programmer co-worker to join us instead of working for Nick’s company and risk ostracizing Nick and the community he’s building (which frankly is a good connection to maintain and I don’t have tight connections with the other members yet, a few of which are my co-workers)….
Or third as I should have thought of earlier, I speak more with my programmer co-worker, come back to Nick and tell him this is what is happening: my business partner and I are working with our mutual co-worker (which will happen at the rate things are going regardless of whether it’s under Nick’s company or mine) — re-propose my position that we own the IP and work mutually with their company to leverage their marketing and design skills (a position Nick wasn’t too fond of before since he felt they could better focus their efforts on developing internal products), and negotiate a nice margin or something else for them in return.
To be honest I give less of a shit about the money at this point than I do about developing a successful product, furthering my experience, connections in the community, and getting my name and business name out there. The issue I have is I’m not the most charismatic person ALL the time. My strength lies 1-on-1, and I’m good at being a rock solid support when presenting with one or two other speakers (particularly if they know my style), but I’m not a natural crowd-pleaser or charmer — except for in very small doses where everyone suddenly pays attention to me (need to figure out how to better capitalize on that when going out for dinner or to the bar where a large amount of time is spent together socializing). My charm comes from being direct — and the confidence that effectively backs that up comes from knowing I’m top dog and have the ability to shine.
I know if I work under Nick the resentment will build up — so realistically that’s not even an option. I can’t put him above me (even if he doesn’t frame it like that when speaking with me). I suppose I’ve answered my own question: The third option, which seemed to elude me before starting to write this, is clearly the best choice. My struggle lies in figuring out the best way to convince Nick to help develop my company’s IP and make it seem like a good deal for him (and particularly for his business partner who I have far less contact with and who I think is even more inclined to keep it under their banner). Maintaining positive relations is priority one here for the next few months. I anticipate my footing to grow stronger among the various parties to grow stronger relative to his connections over time, so this becomes less of an issue (not that I plan on brutally undercutting him, but if it came down to it and things soured I want my position to be strong enough for others to rally around me so that I’m not ostracizing potential business contacts). I could really use any words of wisdom or life
I was in this exact same situation quite a few times in my life and this is what I learned (the same lesson, over and over again):
Why the fuck am I doing business, and why did I pursue all the things I did throughout my life? The one prevailing theme, among the random clutter of activities and hobbies, has always been power. I wanted control over my own life and I realized that giving up that control to advance in any area would be subsuming the whole purpose of getting into it in the first place. If I wanted to work under someone else, I never would’ve started working on a project, I would’ve placated myself with a 9-5 job and a “steady” paycheck. But I love the thrill. I love feeling insecure. I love not knowing how something will end up. I love that my success almost fully depends on my own ability rather than the abilities of anyone else. I think you came to this same conclusion yourself, which is why you ruled out #1.
But thinking practically, you’re right, #3 would be the best option or #1 combined with a bit of sand-bagging in the end where you reserve a path to regain control of your product.
For #3, you don’t need to charismatically persuade an audience. In fact, if you do, you’re selling a bad product. Read the 48 Laws of Power if you haven’t already, otherwise, recall Law #4 – always say less than necessary. If I ever hear a presentation from a person who looks try-hard or talks too much, I assume their product sucks. On the other hand, if someone hands me a 2 page business proposal scrawled on loose leaf paper that CLEARLY indicates I will profit, I’m in. If you truly believe in your product, it will show. You don’t need to rely on oratory skills. And if, in addition to that, your product truly is worth its words; it will sell itself.
I commend you on focusing on building a good PRODUCT rather than something that will sell; it is the hallmark of a winning businessman. And trust me on this, the complex you’re lamenting about is going to end up as one of your greatest strengths. The most successful people I know share one trait: they are all secretly very insecure about their own work. They are perfectionists because they never think their work is good enough. The fact that you think you lack charisma will cause you to compensate for it by working harder to create a product that doesn’t NEED to be sold with charisma and persuasiveness. Something you could just put in front of an audience and say,
“Behold, peasants, commoners, and little people. The future.”
the question is HOW to feel alpha ?
Action precedes thought; do Alpha things to feel Alpha
What kind of guys would you say your way of running game is primarly intented for? Does looks affect how you should run game. Seems to me like direct game would be perfect for most handsome men while indirect game is intended for guys that wouldn’t have the instant value etc that some get due to looks. I’m sure certain game techniques are more effective for certain people etc. Can you do a post on this?
The effect of looks on game is ambiguous, it would be ignorant to dismiss either school of thought. A 5’4 balding butt ass ugly man can out game an Armani model if he has enough master game or social proof.
But put both of them in identical lifestyles and equalize their levels of game, and now, who do you think will be more confident? The ugly guy thinks he’s ugly, the good looking guy has been told all his life by his girl-friends that women would fuck him in a heart beat.
On the other hand, it could also be in reverse order. The good looking guy could have had a few bad experiences whereas the ugly man lucked out which fed into a positive cycle of reinforcement.
On direct game, a very good looking guy is likely to have his approach reciprocated more often; but an ugly guy might be able to compensate for his looks by the very act of cold approaching.
So you see, the answer is really “it doesn’t matter.” Don’t think about it. Game is game and as you go higher up the Alpha scale, looks become more and more irrelevant. A very good looking beta might have a better chance than a shit ugly beta; but among two Alphas the question of looks becomes irrelevant.
All the more reason to learn game.
Could you elaborate on this, I’m quite curious, From my experience all religion has done is make me want to do bad things even more ironically, also I’d like to point out that the most sluttiest girls are the ones from all girl catholic schools.
Both religion and the absence of religion have caused strife, both capitalism and communism have been responsible for a countless number of deaths, and both the right wing and the left wing are responsible for the status quo.
What’s the common denominator?
Hey shark I appreciate all the help wit the site, it has made me, without a doubt, a better man. I have a scenario in which It has been my first, looking for your feedback on this one.
Back in September, I was ‘gaming’ this girl at my school, were both in grade 12. She is a perfect fucking 10, perfect ass, perfect tits, perfect face, without a doubt the hottest at my school. We had everything going good, attraction was through the roof, until November hit. I had been sucked into her demon ways and at that point I had been treating her like a ‘beta’, this was before I found out about this site of course. By December, she had given me the ‘Lets Just Be Friends’, heartbroken, I had accepted reality and treated her like a friend. My first real heartbreak. Ever since then I had not given her any signs of jealousy and had moved on with my life, not texting her for anything but homework help. Not knowing moving on with my life after LJBF, increased attraction, she had given me some shit tests, in which I thought she was just being a bitch. At about 9 PM I texted her.
Me: Hey… did you do the English essay?
*2 hours pass and she finally texts back, she normally replies instantly*
bitch: Why are you talking to me? I swear I told you to lose my number?
Me: No time to make up tonight hun, I have homework…
bitch: Then just delete my number or I’ll block you myself!It ended bad in December, I had treated her like a complete jerk as well. Normally, the responses that came out of me shocked her since I was giving her beta resentment in the past. It ended bad to the point where I deleted her off Facebook and we had not talked ever since. At this point I had looked up on the internet about help with relationships and eventually found this site. Reading upon letting go, I completely moved on with my life, not giving 2 shits about her. I also read and kept in mind how she never got the ego inflation from me, which she was going to look for. One day she came on my bus with her friends, she sat right in front of me. Talking so much about guys and how happy her life was, I could instantly decipher that she was trying to make me jealous. I showed no emotion or attention, I got off my stop like any regular one.
Through the first few months of 2012, she has seen me with many girls (HB8+) at our school. I have been working out and dress 10x better. Now today, April 24, I was waiting at my bus stop. She comes out of nowhere and stands at the bus stop across the street. I noticed her ass got a lot bigger and so did her tits, the sight made me want to angry fuck the shit out of her. After 5 minutes, we finally locked eyes and she smiled and waved at me. I had given her no response but a straight look in the eyes, confused, she tried another attempt to wave, I guess hoping to get a wave back. I did nothing but look her dead in the eyes. After a few minutes I looked and noticed her staring at me, but once I made eye contact, she looked away instantly. Her bus came and she went on it.
Now I read how going back to your ex will slow down your recovery process. But ever since that heartbreak with her in December, and upon finding this site my success with woman increased dramatically. I had learned from my beta ways and I thank her for breaking my heart, as it is the only thing that made me evolve into the alpha I am now. I had multiple woman interested with me, all HB8+, and have been successful with them so far. I am convinced that I have become alpha, but still crave to be the ultimate alpha. I am convinced that if I talk to her again I WILL NOT resort back to my beta ways. I do want to fuck the shit out of her, and I know at one point she wanted to too. Since I have been a crybaby bitch beta with her for the most part in the past, I will have to give her some hard dick game, to show her that i have indeed changed. Any ideas about going upon this? How should I react when we see each other in the halls? Even if I can be just friends with her, I know it will spark competitive anxiety with the plethora of woman interested in me at my school.
Thanks.
You won’t need much to convince her that you “changed.” If she sees you with other girls, she’ll rationalize her new found attraction for you (a result of competitive anxiety) as a shift in your own personality, not in her perception of you; although both of those things may be factors.
I know you think you won’t revert back to your beta ways; but the very fact that this instance matters to you so much is indicative of premature Oneitis. You have other girls interested in you, why not go for them?
Either ways, if you do go for your ex, I trust you have changed enough to understand how to better handle situations. Don’t let go of your cards and keep competitive anxiety high. A hate fuck is a possible option, but be weary of getting caught up in a past flame.
Shark,
I was with a girl for a couple months and she was infatuated. She took me on trips, bought me gifts, and sexed me up real nice. I was very aloof, passed her shit tests, and never once gave her any reason to believe I enjoyed her company other than actually spending 1 day a week with her. She was overt in her communication about how she felt with me, and not only was I not overt, but I wasn’t even covert. I kind of treated her like an fbuddy. I had known her for years prior to actually hooking up, and always had higher status (known her for about 7 years or so). I am 3 years older. She is in college and I am working at a great job. We met over the summer and after a couple months she had to go back to school. Anyway, the distance was really too much for me to bear and I felt I needed to do something to keep her interest in me high. We took turns visiting, and I eventually asked her to be exclusive. I know, I know…never ask for exclusivity.
Anyway, I asked her out, she said yes, then I took it back because I wasn’t ready. I felt bad about doing that, and right around the time I took it back she became more distant. At this point my affections became more overt. For two weeks I was pretty bad with my communication, and it drove her away (my only AFC tendencies). This is just the backdrop on the story. I’m pretty sure she has moved on to her MAJOR beta “friend.” Someone who was her shoulder to cry on when we were having issues. This guy is really AFC. Because I have known this girl for so long, she knows that the two weeks I spent clinging to her really isn’t my personality. All her previous boyfriends have been hard core betas. She lost her virginity to me. I guess my main question is: Is it natural for a woman to leave an alpha relationship to SEEK a beta relationship? I know you have done a post on this before…but any insight would be helpful. Perhaps she just enjoyed the thrill of getting a beta reaction out of someone she placed high value on? If this is the case, how is it possible to re-establish alpha in her mind?
Thanks man.
You answered your own question with the second to last line. She enjoyed the thrill of getting a beta reaction from someone she perceived as an Alpha. The male equivalent of a woman consuming and breaking the ego of a man she thought was better than her is a man fucking a girl he thought was way out of his league and cuming inside of her 100 times straight.
2 weeks of beta backsliding compounded with the fickle nature of women is much worse than you think. The amount of attraction you lost depends on your degree of backsliding, not the length of time it spanned.
Re-establishing yourself as a dominant Alpha will take time, it is not your primary goal. Right now you want to inject a bit of emotional turbulence in her. If she’s already sought out a rebound, no-contact will not be enough. You must resort to the most nuclear of all emotions; jealousy.
Your response to another commenter above about how apologizing after fucking up, breaking rapport, hurting her feelings, etc… actually makes sense to me now. A few days ago it sort of hit me. I was thinking about how I’d let girls down in the past and how I’d reacted to my mistakes. I wondered about guilt and how failure weighs me down… but then I thought…
“What if at the times I failed or pissed off any of my exes I’d been seeing other girls at the same time? What if I was fighting bitches off with a stick at the time? All hotter. All kinder. All more generous and less needy than my girlfriend? How would I react to her tests? Would I feel guilty or like I’m taking advantage for accepting anything from this one girl? Wouldn’t everything I HAVE done been rapport enough?”
I realized it was this very sort of thinking that I HAD with girls regardless of my status. My focus on my life’s purpose however was my “other girl”. It’s only when I actually did show caring in response to their anger
at me that things got fucked up.
A girl does NOT know you aren’t seeing other girls. SHE does NOT know your history. She DOES NOT know no matter what you do or how you act that you are not higher value. There’s always doubt.
While that’s all clear and to an extent obvious, when a guy naturally assumes the only thing keeper her to you is your value… he get’s out and stays out of the specifics of his narrative… he’s free to see the subjectivity of it all. That his response (I.e. confidence) is the single most important indicator to her. Her feelings conform to yours eventually. You are the one leading the relationship.
Dogs don’t understand sympathy towards them. Likewise a strong sense of empathy can KILL your chances. You think you’re showing humanity and equanimity to your girl with an apology or revealing that you do in fact have a conscience. She does NOT interpret it that way.
Shark, I’m only restating what you’ve been telling us through all these posts. The concepts of framing, irrational self confidence, making your mission your priority… they all make the most sense only from this Alpha perspective. It’s not that each man doesn’t naturally want these things or even on many levels already believe they’re correct ways of thinking. It’s accepting that females are truly incapable of knowing themselves. That they are NOT men. Their thinking is based in social fluidity.
*GUYS. When you screw up (and you will). You MUST REMEMBER your societally programmed/expected responses and EVEN your very sense of empathy or right and wrong is malleable. Think like you have options. Imagine you’ve been passing them up to be with this girl. Imagine everything you have with this girl, there are already other girls who do more. How do you feel now? What do you think now? Are you selfish? Have you been taking her for granted? Treating her poorly? Didn’t care enough? Played games? No. You’re a man who finally screwed up while trying to put pearls in a pigs ear. A man who has a run of better girls, but chose her.* All this is exactly what she’s afraid of. She wants to know for sure. All the shit that’s inside her. The things she’s done. What she’s thought. Is she good enough? “Can this guy handle ALL of me?”
Don’t break. She needs you not to break. Own your shit.
Shark… what’s happening to me?
I’m loving the direction the posts and comments and answers section are going! Deeper and more thought provoking!
I would appreciate it if I could e-mail you directly. I have a big decision to make regarding a woman.It’s at the point where she will be or she will not be a part of my life, depending on what I do.
I’d like your advice.
I love reading your blog everyday.
Hey Shark I have a few questions about stand up Comedy.
I noticed that its really hard to tell “alpha” jokes. I noticed that a lot of stand up comedians sit up there and talk about how pathetic their lives are. People like Zach Galifinakis and Louis Ck. Im sure they get laid all the time – but what if an unknown comedian like me did jokes like that? Do you think that would raise attraction for girls that watch me or lower it?
ALSO I would like to hear what u have to say about Stand Up Comedy in general and maybe some tips. Itd be cool to hear what u have to say.
Hey Shark, i figured i might aswell post about this particular problem i’ve been having. I met a hb9 on a train a few months back, had great contact and she asked for my number, she lived in another city so we texted a lot. eventually she came over and stayed 4 days at my place, we had a really good time, i really believe she was happy with me, then she left. As soon as she left she got really sick (i called her and noticed by her voice that it was bad) anyway about 2 weeks pass with very little texting, and almost 0 from her side, and before she used to text me very frequently and be very warm and cute. in this period she also mentioned once that she can’t wait to see me… anyway i thought that something is up and i figured i should go no contact for a few days… 4 days pass and i hear nothing from her, then i text her telling hey whats up, i miss your texts, why dont we talk anymore? Then she responded telling me that a lot of nasty stuff happened to her since she left besides the week she was really sick, she has her own buisness, was swamped in work, and someone who was in the power to fuck her up financially did so just to show that he could, or out of spite. She said this really messed her up and she can’t focus on herself or feelings because of it, and that she deals with this kind of stuff alone. I responded telling her that she should let the bad things in life win and take away the good things she has, and i told her that if she needs time to get her balance she has it… i wont go into details there were about 4-5 texts in the conversation… anyway after i gave that response she didnt say anything, to be honest from what i judged about her character i dont think she’s lying… and now i decided to go no contact again. This is a really confusing situation that’s why i sought out your input. What’s your take on all this? What should i do if i want to get her back? I would appreciate it if you sent me an email with your respnse as soon as you get a chance. Thanks, and respect for what you are doing
http://www.frankstockton.com/
Based on your understanding of social dynamics who do you thing the Princess choose for him to be with?
http://www139.pair.com/read/Frank_R_Stockton/The_Lady_or_the_Tiger/The_Lady_or_the_Tiger_p1.html
Thanks for your response, not 100% sure, my guess would be Middle ground? That they could not co exist without one another, but that’s not something they have in common… Hmm
Also I have come to a conclusion on a fairly similar topic, before my mother passed away she reinforced my learning of religion, made sure I wen’t to church and had me pretty darn sure God was real and when She passed away I still believed in all this stuff but it SLOWLY started to evaporate. Now one of my good friends on the other hand who firmly believes in god also who I introduced to this blog saw my comments on Nuggets Of Gold and he didn’t directly say anything to me about it but he posted this on face but directly after me posting that comment
“If loosing my life and yall in the process to save my soul then no matter how much it hurts i gotta do this for my salvation cause its whats best for me#ThinkingHard”
Now he still lives with his real mother and his real dad is divorced ironically I live with my real dad and my mothers dead. Now as fucked up as this sounds if she had not have died I don’t think I would even have been introduced to this blog, I would still be going to church and be conditioned to treat women like Gods and asking her for advice etc. My conclusion is that mothers(I LOVE MINE TO DEATH) can influence a man negatively as well as religiously.
Stumbled across a post today
http://rationalmale.wordpress.com/2012/05/01/chick-crack/
If you don’t have a car and a girl dose wanna hang out with you do you ask her to pick you up? Everyone’s telling me yea but that just seems Beta as fuck.
yo shark, heres some material from Obama’s correspondents’ dinner speech if you want to write an article about it:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZlJG5mpsyvI
I swear to god (or other designated leader of your spiritual kingdom) they are all idiots I don’t know why we’re wasting our fucking time! I’m either going to ballpean hammer them as they come or check out early! Seriously, you want one and she’s full of shit, when you get one trying to throw her away she boomerangs right back! I have better shit to do with my time! How many progeny should I be reasonably expected to support?!? All these yo-yos ruled by their emotions and the cycling of the tides! It’s amazing we have any men left already! God help my sons from these idiots!
Always giving the right advice shark.
I’ve got an update on how I’m trying to orbit a 8/10.
However, instead of me breaking up with her. She left me abruptly out of sheer jealousy and anger. Even though I did nothing wrong. Some random who tried to hook up with me told her about the attempt to piss her off. I told that random during the hook up attempt that i had a girlfriend at the time. A day after the break up however, I was sent this by my now ex.
“Randoms.. I know I’m not suppose to believe them, but it was a decision I made in 2 seconds because I couldn’t take it anymore. It was done out of anger. I’m not asking to get back together, I just want you to know that I was put on the spot by people who knew things about us and I didnt know what I was suppose to believe; if it was the truth or not. it is hard to compete with every girl out there especially with me hanging by a thread. i was scared i would lose you in a far more worse way. take care.”
This is after a 1 year relationship. Before me this girl had been notorious for hooking up at clubs and this weekend she’s going clubbing. How should i proceed?
cheers shark.
Shark,
Last night was my senior prom. I didn’t want to go very bad but i took my girlfriend of 8 months because along time ago i promised i would and i like to stick to my word. About 5 months into our relationship i became extremely beta, but enough attraction was there that the relationship kept going. Since February Ive beta backslid a couple of times.About a month ago shit started to hit the fan. 3 weeks ago i accused her of cheating, i knew i shouldn’t of the whole time but i still did. I knew in the back of my mind she hadn’t cheated but i guess it was just me being beta. I thought she was emotionally cheating on me and i had a little bit of evidence.The accusing came off as i thought she was physically cheating. Anyway i fucked up there and i apologized and what not. That was really the only time in the last month i’d had a case ofserious oneitis. Things got better, but the sex didnt. Anyway in the last month we have hooked up three times. We’ve hung out probably 15-20 times. The last time we hooked up it seemed like she didn’t want to at all, i kind of had to coerce her into it and after about 15 minutes she said she had to go soon which was true but it wasn’t a big deal really on when she left. Once she said that i stopped fucking her mid thrust got up, put on my clothes and drove her home. I never really told her what was wrong, didn’t act very pissed just quieter and just withdrew attention. A couple days ago i tried to intiate some sexting, i tried to get her to send me some pictures, she denied me, made up some bull shit excuse and i told her she was no fun, she said i was mean, i ignored her. This whole passed week i’ve been very laconic towards her through texting and everything. The day before prom she texted me asking if i still liked her, i insured her I did but with aloofness.
Anyway last night i take her to prom which was shitty, i went with two of her friends and there dates who i knew from school. Couldn’t of gone with my friends because my close group of friends think that shits stupid, as do i. At dinner i felt i was the alpha of the group flirted with her friends a small bit, made jokes, everybody laughed it was a good time i felt attraction on my girlfriends part. To the point. Last night we’re driving home i was planning on just going to a secluded spot and getting down but as i was driving she took out her phone and i thought she was going to call her mom to tell her she was coming home. I quickly asked if she wanted to go park at this place we used to always get down at. She said no she was tired. Right then i was so fed up i had just spent over 150 bucks on fucking prom and she wasn’t going to put out. I told her i wasn’t happy anymore, I told her that we’d had sex twice in the last month and fooled around once. I told her that wasn’t doing it for me. She said she doesn’t think that sex is very important and its not a big deal to her blah blah. I said maybe we should take a break or something and she said breaks dont mean shit. Then she started to say that her new migraine medication that she started to take about a month ago has decreased libido as a side effect. I guess i kind of ignored that cause i was horny and mad. We both started to get angrier. I calmed down alittle bit and asked her if she knew where i was coming, she said “ya” and then i said “alright so you have nothing to say.” By this point i was parked in my driveway i had been driving her car. She replied with “what the fuck do you want me to say” I just said alright i’m leaving and got out of the car and walked into my house. I was under the impression that we were sort of broken up. I was upset but ready to finally go get some other pussy. I was also worried though because the last time i almost broke up with her, or atleast she thought i was going to, she cut the fuck out of herself. That fucked me up and i told her if she ever did that again i couldn’t be with her. Anyway i didn’t want her to hurt herself.
Nevermind with all that shit. I just had to write that down to get it out of my head. The real question is could her migraine pills be atleast some or alot of the reason sex has been gone? After fighting last night she texted me within 10 minutes saying you tore up my heart. I just told her that if she hated me that was fine but please dont hurt yourself. She said goodnight. i responed with okay goodnight. Then she tried to start up shit again and i said i wasn’t going to fight over texting if she wanted to call me, go for it. She said whatever, goodnight i love you. Obviously she still loves the shit out of me. Today i’m probably going to meet with her, i’m ready to break up. If its really her pills what do i do? I was thinking i try to get her to switch medications and that we will take it slow and if things dont work its over. Or is that just a lost cause. Its mind fucking me because i still feel attraction from her but by the time we get an opportunity to fuck its gone. Sorry about the length. I know your a busy guy and i know i can figure this out on my own, if you get this some time today april 29th it would be cool if you emailed me some advice, or responded on here.
I also know very well that me accusing her of cheating could of flushed all attraction down the drain and i’m ready accept that. Just some advice would be nice
Even tho He could have knocked him out anytime during any round he didn’t and he was not ashamed to do what he WANTED to do despite the crowd “boo”ing him. & he basically got away with it with a bullshit Alpha apology at the end which was pretty G.
http://www.mmavideofights.net/313/anderson-silva-vs-demian-maia-video-ufc-112/
Hey Shark,
Love the site. Your writing has inspired me in a lot of different ways since I discovered it.
Can you elaborate on cutting people out of your life who are holding you back? I remember reading a line in either one of your articles, or in The Black Flag, which stated that (and I’m paraphrasing here) such obstacles such be mercilessly exterminated from your life.
I have friends who don’t particularly like my new attitude towards chicks. They’re all too caught up in the drama of their exes and the emotional shit storm which they like to think that they’re living through. These dudes are 21 years old, and not only do they have no interested in gaming and trying to bang new chicks, they only have an interest in spending their Saturday nights, sat on their ass, getting drunk and basking in the drama of their bitch exes. I’ve heard the same stories millions of times.
I swear, this shit has me tearing my hair out. I just about managed to drag a couple of them out to a club last week. I tried to get them to approach a group of 7s/8s and they kept saying “no, they’re too good for us”. They wouldn’t approach ANY girls. I feel like if I didn’t have these omega sad sacks dragging me down, I could have made a decent attempt on the chicks. Even if I failed I’d have the experience to learn from. They have no desire to even try though.
They’re all a closely-knit group. They’re extremely judgmental too. Every move I make to improve myself and my attitude is examined under the microscope, and condemned, because they’ve got nothing freaking better to talk about. Do I need to remove these people from my life?
Thanks.
is it always bad to talk about specific people (gossip?) in conversations with girls? girls usually bring up and clearly show desire to talk about people amidst almost any conversation, and i always have problems handling it. I really want to offer my opinions about them in an alpha manner, but I always end up changing the discussion topic away from specific people, mainly because in the black flag and some blog posts, you said gossiping is bad and should be avoided. but then recently you said talking about an ex (still gossip?) is good to show vulnerability and high value. and, looking back at it now, i realize that i really had missed a lot of good opportunities to fuel competitive anxiety by, as you had suggested, talking positively/nostalgically about other girls, to amog some betas she brings up (by the way, why would a girl want to talk about a beta amidst a conversation?), and to covertly display my aloofness by saying that some insult someone said behind my back didn’t affect me much (or something of that sort, i don’t know)
from my experience, i always felt uneasy around and repulsed by people who i overheard were talking shit about others, and sort of alright when i overheard other people talking about others in positive/nonnegative light. I realize that both the former and the latter are forms of gossip, but the latter seems to be much more appealing than the former. as of now, i don’t do either, and it’s getting pretty awkward and frustrating to keep having to avoid simple talk about other people away from girls.
Your solo game post has helped significantly. I have been approaching more and have been gaining momentum with women. Last night I take this girl to a scary movie. It goes pretty good. The whole time she is saying your so interesting/crazy/weird/different shit like that. I know she is in to me at least some what so i grab her hand to show some affection to counteract the aloof mysterious asshole I’ve been 1.5 hours up to that point. Long story short at the end when we are out by our cars getting ready to leave I lean in to kiss her and she rejects me. I don’t react negatively or positively just basically say bye. As I am getting in to my car she asks, “you don’t work tmrw right?” I said nope and she goes, “well me either”… insinuating we should chill. I just nonchalantly say lucky you and leave. After I leave she texts me , “I’m so confused. lol.” What’s your interpretation of the situation and what would you do next? Thanks man, your writing is having profound impact on my life and I feel my confidence slowly growing towards Alpha. 4 months in!
Dude. This is obvious. You’re still in the green, but you had an easy close there. She shit tested you by rejecting you. You past it and failed to reap the rewards. Depending on your age it could have also been a bit of LMR. Either way, you were in buddy. Now you just have hope she assumed you were playing hard to get (or punishing her for rejecting you) and not that you were too dence to sense her attempt to advance.
Shark, you continue to amaze me. Your insight is astounding, and not just on topics relating to women. We are on the same page, brother. Keep up the excellent work.
Getting on a date? Meeting a girl?
Appreciate all the advice shark. I was curious though as to lately I have arranged to meet up with two girls who have both cancelled on me.
For example:
Friday: Chat with a girl on the phone for ages and she’s up for meeting me Sunday… etc..
Saturday we text and she says shes looking forward to tomorrow.
Sunday.. I text her saying let’s meet up around 8…
She doesn’t text back, I call her, she doesn’t pick up.
Why has she gone cold?
I was also wondering as lately I have met girls out, and then got their numbers or FB’s and text/talked but nothing has happened. Do you know of a routine that could set me off onto getting it naturally or have any advice?
Thanks big man
Shark,
I really need your help with this one. So lately I’ve been giving thought on the times my ex gf made negative remarks about my body. For example: you’re too skinny, your legs blah blah blah. You get the point…So my initial external response was sometimes to act with amused mastery, but my internal response was: “wtf is up with you, why are you trying to put me down?” The reason I reacted this way in my mind was simply because when we first started going out she had done this multiple times. Sometimes I would even try to explain myself while I was under a qualifying mentality: Im skinny because of this…My legs look like that because of that…Which I realize now that its complete bullshit. A few months later I thought of it as a form of shit testing in which case, for what I think is the endurance of my fragile ego, would be crossing the line. Even with a response that demonstrate amused mastery, I think its unnecessary bullshit from my girl to be making this remarks, I have a mirror and eyes too..Anyway I’ve had this experience not just with her but with multiple fat old men and sometimes with the most superficial ppl in my family. What is the proper way to handle this bullshit? Not give a shit, try to change the impossible, respond with a neg, give a cold look to the person..and what is the proper way to handle this internally?I know be confident no matter what but what does that really mean…to accept and embrace your negative remarks?
Shark this is a question on how to display dominance covertly.
I have a friend whose a real alpha, rare breed. Whenever he tells us to do things for him we all are willing to do whatever he wants, its like an automatic response we just can’t say no to him. His not a violent person so its not like we fear him or anything ,but we just can’t say no and its the same with the ladies. His girlfriend would do whatever he asks of her without asking any stupid questions.
How does he do it? I also wana do what he does. I tried some amoging tactic ,but it didn’t phase him i actually felt dumb after i did it. Please tell me how to be like him. Thank you
Shark,
I am confident that I have over 85% attraction with this girl and recently I have withdrawn some attention, not texting/talking to her for a week or so. She bbm’s me first and after a few messages back and forth, she gives me pointless attitude. She is usually very submissive and perceives me as very alpha. I send her a “Fuck you,” not wanting to deal with her shit. She bbm’s me back, I feel the vibration from my phone but as soon as I open my phone I notice she has deleted me off blackberry messenger, not knowing what the message read. It is ironic because even after we have each others number, she insists on adding me to her bbm, and she does. This is either a shit test or a chemical rush that you pointed out, that woman will create out of thin air, if the relationship lacks it. OR it could be because the lack of attention I have withdrawn, that she expects me to hound her after she pulls a move like that. Also on top of that, 2 days before she sent the message, I had deactivated my facebook, working purely on myself. I know this is a time where I should go no contact. Now she has no way of contacting me besides text message, or in person (which isn’t likely since I try to avoid eye contact in school now that no contact has been initiated). I am confident that she will text me first after a while, when no contact kicks in. The question here is how should I respond to her text? Act like I don’t know who it is? And secondly, is a plain “Fuck you” a good way to handle her pointless, provoking attitude? I know she was trying to provoke that out of me so should could make the excuse to delete me off bbm in the first place.
Thanks
hey shark, help me out on this……. been with this object (girl ) for a year, took her virginity and ran Alpha game fora long time before i got caught up with betabacksliding. i started showing crazy affections like sending her ily’s every second and being a complete AFC. she started telling me that we were goin to spend our life together and i believed the bitch. aniway four months ago she told me that she just wanted us to fuck around and she still loves me but we are no more boyfriends and girlfriends but people in love ( what a stupid thing to say) and that bf and gf are just names that it did not matter. i was so beta and in love that i sarted goin crazy and fell into the trap. 3 months of hell for me and finally i got back on my shit and met her to talk few days ago. she told me that se got a new boyfriend now ( remember what she told me about bf and gf before? bitches bitches bitches) but we can still fuck around because her bf is ok and secure enough with her fuking with other guys and but he is not here right now so when he comes back she is gona have to decide. now im not gonna lie i love this girl i mean bitch. how should i proceed? is she lying to make me jealous? should i forget her? should i just say ok lets just fuck even though i want a serious relationship? and does a girl like this really worth living a life with? note that she told me she loves me but still wanna fuck other guys and me to fuck other girls if i want to. help me out shark i am so confused man.
Perhaps the most culturally beta thing one can do (it’s poetry?):
I have thought that I was going to die Today
many times before.
Each trim reveals my hair growing back again.
I feel like I’m going to die soon.
My paranoia is even wearing thin.
It doesn’t seem that my mind can work.
My thought’s are neither logical nor rational.
I can’t sit straight for longer than it takes
for me to remember that I shouldn’t bend.
It could be TB or it could be an infection
of the nerves – psyche’s re-cognition -
or even of the nervous system.
It could be my lungs:
this cough.
I’ve smoked too much, now I realize,
with the fan on.
So much Carbon Monoxide.
Or is it my furry un-brushed tongue?
Let me elaborate: X packs a day,
of what I thought was my body’s
capacity for Youth’s long gone
memories of a grandfathers
quit display; smoking four in Montana;
pack’s, lest he at the machine shop
didn’t receive the week’s pay.
So I am left with the curiosity,
once again, at an young Age:
should I leave death to death,
or bring it upon, in my own way?
I know, and think I do, know
just how I could make it easy.
But, then again, I don’t want to end up in the cage
of my mind not knowing what Mind is:
in a hospital bed.
‘Cause a failed death’s a lived
one worth twice less survived.
Mind you, hospitable enough. But, those thin blue
sheets, and asylum meals, are not the same as
attempting to remain in love.
And I suppose I would give up a thousand days for
a couple minutes, or a thousand I’d hope; more then
so I could finish, feeling with it,
that at least I’d let love, whether far or near,
write me a country song that someone could hold dear
And delete the
previous
[realities with it].
Those things we say that we don’t necessarily mean
but mean so much to those of us who can understand[...]
With liberty of our personal language
It only takes one or two or
only two.
Never have I had a friend who wasn’t him or I,
and never have I fallen in love
with a woman who wasn’t her with me:
a girl besides
the sheets.
Never has a triangle existed
except in the sexual sense;
and sensually, it wasn’t as satisfying
as the images would admit.
The fantasy far out ways the actual progression
from a woman to a whore and a man to an appendage:
it takes moments, my friend, three’s what it is.
So what’s the point in feigning? I try not to.
But when I do pretend I find a lot is gained.
It’s not that any of the writers I loved will read me.
They are all dead. They offer no advice, but grieve me
- I’m lost, but remembered always, alas! At what cost?
To write a poem on a blog to an anonymous readership?
Of course, ’cause it’s poetry: the syphilis of failed Word.
And so I write with the steps of Freemasonry depicted
near a nude image of a woman with her back chained,
bound, Googled, and black and white and updated to
be the image of a new generation
while my only friend leaves to a better life working -
writing.
And he actually writes.
I just pretend to sit here
and fall in love.
I just fall in love, and I hate;
pretending to actually
do something.
Over and over again.
I have the emotions of the drugs I imbue.
Yet I don’t put rhyme to them like Baudelaire would appear
to have done
in some American Scholar of the French in translation do.
Few and far between are the diseases I have myself carried,
yet many are the one’s I’ve left buried within letter’s;
and those who imbibe them, are the sorry who will carry
what words I’ve left with them until they’re buried.
So, in conclusion: fuck you, and thank you, for dispelling
Perhaps the most culturally beta thing one can do (it’s poetry?):
I have thought that I was going to die Today
many times before.
Each trim reveals my hair growing back again.
I feel like I’m going to die soon.
My paranoia is even wearing thin.
It doesn’t seem that my mind can work.
My thought’s are neither logical nor rational.
I can’t sit straight for longer than it takes
for me to remember that I shouldn’t bend.
It could be TB or it could be an infection
of the nerves – psyche’s re-cognition -
or even of the nervous system.
It could be my lungs:
this cough.
I’ve smoked too much, now I realize,
with the fan on.
So much Carbon Monoxide.
Or is it my furry un-brushed tongue?
Let me elaborate: X packs a day,
of what I thought was my body’s
capacity for Youth’s long gone
memories of a grandfathers
quit display; smoking four in Montana;
pack’s, lest he at the machine shop
didn’t receive the week’s pay.
So I am left with the curiosity,
once again, at an young Age:
should I leave death to death,
or bring it upon, in my own way?
I know, and think I do, know
just how I could make it easy.
But, then again, I don’t want to end up in the cage
of my mind not knowing what Mind is:
in a hospital bed.
‘Cause a failed death’s a lived
one worth twice less survived.
Mind you, hospitable enough. But, those thin blue
sheets, and asylum meals, are not the same as
attempting to remain in love.
And I suppose I would give up a thousand days for
a couple minutes, or a thousand I’d hope; more then
so I could finish, feeling with it,
that at least I’d let love, whether far or near,
write me a country song that someone could hold dear
And delete the
previous
[realities with it].
Those things we say that we don’t necessarily mean
but mean so much to those of us who can understand[...]
With liberty of our personal language
It only takes one or two or
only two.
Never have I had a friend who wasn’t him or I,
and never have I fallen in love
with a woman who wasn’t her with me:
a girl besides
the sheets.
Never has a triangle existed
except in the sexual sense;
and sensually, it wasn’t as satisfying
as the images would admit.
The fantasy far out ways the actual progression
from a woman to a whore and a man to an appendage:
it takes moments, my friend, three’s what it is.
So what’s the point in feigning? I try not to.
But when I do pretend I find a lot is gained.
It’s not that any of the writers I loved will read me.
They are all dead. They offer no advice, but grieve me
- I’m lost, but remembered always, alas! At what cost?
To write a poem on a blog to an anonymous readership?
Of course, ’cause it’s poetry: the syphilis of failed Word.
And so I write with the steps of Freemasonry depicted
near a nude image of a woman with her back chained,
bound, Googled, and black and white and updated to
be the image of a new generation
while my only friend leaves to a better life working -
writing.
And he actually writes.
I just pretend to sit here
and fall in love.
I just fall in love, and I hate;
pretending to actually
do something.
Over and over again.
I have the emotions of the drugs I imbue.
Yet I don’t put rhyme to them like Baudelaire would appear
to have done
in some American Scholar of the French in translation do.
Few and far between are the diseases I have myself carried,
yet many are the one’s I’ve left buried within letter’s;
and those who imbibe them, are the sorry who will carry
what words I’ve left with them until they’re buried.
So, in conclusion: fuck you, and thank you, for dispelling
Love your work Shark!
Something I’ve been wondering for sometime now. I know a few guys out there (mainly the nice romantic type of guys) who ask out a woman to be their girlfriend, yet I remember a post you did a long time ago about esclating. You said about not asking a woman out to be exclusive, but for them to instead ask you out. All of my ex girlfriends from my past asked me out, usually it happened either because I started off not fully into them and was busy with work etc. and only gave them some attention or it was because they found out about other girls interested in me and they jumped in to ask me to be their boyfriend because of other women being a threat on their radar. However lately I know of a few guys who have made that move on the woman and have been dating for many months and years, even marriage.
One guy I know was a former friend of mine, he is now dating an ex that I was with for 4 years. She wanted a break and then I met a new girl and bumped into the ex with the new girl and then have the ex wanting me back. She tried pulling the jealously thing on me when I resisted and she mention how other guys were interested my mate was interested in her and might ask her out soon. I told her go for it he is a nice guy, she said oh no no no I want you and you only yet a month or so later she ended up going out with him when he asked her out. They have been together for about 6 months now. Then there are the guys I know who go about there way to go to the girls work place and ask them out for dinner or a movie and go from there. Not meaning to brag or nothing, but I was never that type of guy they usually asked me out. I sometimes think about just asking a girl out I really like seeing though it works well with all theses other guys doing it, but then I think about what you said about having them make that move otherwise you ask them to be exclusive and it kills the chase.
How is this working for these guys asking them out to be their girlfriends?
Thank you Shark !
hey dude. What is it with chicks and horoscopes? Every girl I know seems to swear by the idea that being born in a certain month influences their entire identity. Now I just think it’s total bullshit, but would looking into it more be a good idea (if only for an extra topic of conversation)?
It’s chick crack!!
Read this
http://rationalmale.wordpress.com/2012/05/01/chick-crack/