Oneits again, hehehe!
I have a question.
You and Roissy says that show Vulnerability in the right moment is a powerful game tool.
Shark, You never wrote a post about “how to show vulnerability in a relationship”. Can you do it ?
Vulnerability game in a relationship isn’t so much about showing vulnerabilities, i e; expounding on your insecurities, as it is about showing that you have a vulnerable side and POSSIBLE vulnerabilities yet to be unearthed. Women chase what they can’t have, and in a relationship, they already have your exclusive intimacy. What they don’t have, and what they crave, is access to the more guarded parts of your mind and a monopoly over your attention. The irony behind it being that if you do hand these things over, there’s nothing else to chase and she loses her interest in the relationship. Remember cat string thing, a cat only chases the ball that moves in front of it; but loses interest if it either catches it or if it moves too far away. This is the essence of vulnerability game. If you blatantly come out with your insecurities, there’s no mystery behind it. On the other hand, if you run masculine game too hard and come off as a rock, there’s nothing for her to chase. You want to show flashes of vulnerability to spike her curiosity. Some ideas to illustrate:
You were heart broken before and no longer believe in love (she will work to prove that it’s real)
You’re insecure about achieving your dreams, you don’t know if it’ll be possible but you’re willing to work to death to try it (she will work to support you and not bother you when you’re busy)
You’re unsure if it’s ever safe to open up to someone (she tries to get you to open up)
Notice that all of these insecurities come in very abstract and divine forms. “I’m insecure that I might not be able to live up to my full potential” is very different from “I’m secure that you might be cheating on me.” The former causes someone to look up to you, and for your ego to push yourself harder. The latter makes you over protective and whiny.
shark, is there ever a time when it is appropriate to fight for a girl- metaphorically speaking? for example, if you were TOO much of an asshole and actually really hurt her, is it ok to be a beta and ask for her forgiveness? how would you handle this? no contact isn’t working
I answered a very similar question on the pick-up-artist-forum recently, I’ll copy and paste my response:
If you do something that breaks rapport on an extreme level, whether it be cheating or yelling the shit out of her, DO NOT back pedal. Instinctively when men do something wrong on this level, we apologize dearly because we’ve been conditioned to believe that it’s the right thing to do. But often times, the right thing to do morally is not the best thing to do for a relationship. Rapport and attraction have an interesting dynamic. When you build attraction, you can break rapport. But you build rapport, you must never break attraction. Remember that women are NOT turned on by men they only have rapport with, the subtext of attraction is a critical element. Without it, all rapport gets funneled through an LJBF filter.
Going back to your example, after you yell at a girl, you’ve broken rapport and must find someway to rebuild it. But by apologizing and sending flowers, you attempt to build it while SUPPLICATING. She might think of you as a “nicer” person now, but you strip yourself of the higher value allure that draws her to you in the first place. An example of building rapport WITHOUT taking away attraction:
You yell at her. She cries. You guys don’t talk for a week. She finds out you’re “talking” to some other girl. She eventually texts to “talk about stuff.” She says “wtf is wrong with you?” when you guys meet up. You grab her and tell her “You’ll never know how much I love you” and then just walk away. No-contact for another week or two, let her imagination and anxiety run wild. From my experience, this routine works 95% of the time.
That 1 statement, delivered powerfully, “You’ll never know how much I love you,” is all the rapport you will ever need in a relationship. No flowers, gifts, texts, voice mails, nothing. Just that and be gone. That + mystery and dread = Pussy Quakes.
When a girl wants to avoid you because she’s worried about something, you must tell her “I’m avoiding you because I’m a monster” or some shit like that. The genius of it is how little it makes sense. It is logically incongruent, yet in the eyes of a woman, you are now what SHE cannot have, even though it is technically her who is not supposed to want you. Never be angry that women do not abide by the rules of logic, celebrate it and use it to your advantage.
I wouldn’t say she’s in control right now as if you’ve gamed a girl correctly, your dominance becomes somewhat hard-wired into your dynamic with her. But she’s definitely gaining it and you’ve given her hand by conceding to her frame.
It’s also important that you understand this whole thing about you yelling is almost insignificant. I have seen guys do way more fucked up shit and suffer little to no consequences for it. These things come off as fucked up because we’ve been trained to believe they are so supremely fucked up. So when they happen, the girl ACTS like you just murdered Gandhi. And if you CONCEDE TO HER FRAME and apologize a thousand times for it, you only AGREE with her that what you did was wrong and that you now need to supplicate. After a bit of confirmation theory and post-hoc rationalization kicks in, she keeps going off on it. Remember that women will do whatever it takes to preserve their agency, it is an extension of the female imperative. She is compelled by an implicit need to dominate your attention and turn you into a beta orbiter; this whole fiasco is just another opportunity for her to say “You fucked up, gimme what I want.” The more you treat an issue like an important issue, the more ammo you give her.
Your relationship isn’t stagnant, it’s just that she is freezing you out. And it’s so easy for her because right now she is in the power position. It’s always harder for the person WAITING for something to happen, than it is for the person who’s waiting to MAKE something happen. So long as she feels no anxiety about actually losing you, there will be no strong motivating force to push her to get you back. We only chase the things that run away from us, are you running away or towards her?
Game is counter intuitive, inaction is often the best course of action.
Her saying that you’re moving too fast is not what she literally “means.” Remember that a girl only mirrors her internal emotional state. What you did by flipping out was show that there’s something INCONGRUENT about you. And when a girl finds something incongruent about the guy she likes, she immediately takes a step back to re-evaluate the relationship. This is when she will say something like, “I think we’re moving too fast” or “I think we’re too attached.” Whatever cliche logical explanation she has seen in movies and tabloids will be the one to leave her mouth.
Unfortunately, when this happens, guys tend to PULL back harder when you’re supposed to do the opposite. 99% of the time a girl is not breaking up with you for the reason she is saying she’s breaking up with you. In most cases like yours, it will ironically happen because of a lack of ATTRACTION, not rapport. The guy does something fucked up, believes he fucked up, and supplicates to make up for it sooooo much that the girl gains a disproportionate amount of power and loses all attraction for him.
And when/if she gets back with you, pay no attention to this. Never bring it up or randomly apologize for it. When you’re an Alpha, a halo affect takes place. Your girl will rationalize every single one of your mistakes if she wants you bad enough. Men underestimate the power of power itself too often. It is simply unfathomable how strong the female inclination to submit to a dominant cock is.
The only time no-contact doesn’t work is when your relationship is already too broken for it to work. Either you were TOO MUCH of an asshole and your relationship now has emotional baggage – you’re better off building a new one. Or, she already lost interest and this asshole move was the excuse she needed to dump you. Otherwise, you’re not waiting long enough for the effect of no-contact to kick in (usually 4-6 weeks but could be longer).
Hey Shark, Kinda needed to read this today. Ex wants me back. We went through a sort of honeymoon period where we spent some time together, although I told her I couldn’t just take her back without considering the future and what I wanted. She slept around a bit since we broke up and I haven’t.
So last night I finally slept with another girl. Cute, fun to be around, she smokes which is a turn off, sex was ok, but not near as good as with my ex…it was kinda fumbling in the dark. I feel like a machine with my ex, with this girl I honestly don’t know if she was faking or not, and didn’t care much really. New girl is getting kinda clingy, I’m keeping her at arms length.
Here’s the issue. After sex, I was pretty sure I wanted my ex back…this wasn’t as good as what I could be having, plus there are solid feelings between us. I’m not going to jump the gun, I’m going to go out and meet more women, sleep with more to see what I’m missing. But is it oneitis every time I think of my ex? Can I not legitimately want to be with her as a better girl than those I’ve been meeting, or would you chalk it up to fear and what’s easy?
There needs to be a term for this reaction, something like PBDO (Post-breakup-Dick-Oneitis). When your ex re-enters the secksual market as a free agent, the competitive part of your mind that seeks to minimize paternal risk wants to fuck her more and more because it unconsciously understands that there is a greater chance of her now getting impregnated by another man. A quick google search would reveal a conclusive number of studies, like this one, that support the idea of sperm competition and higher secks drives among men with multiple or unreliable partners.
But in a species like ours, where the male invests all his resources in raising children inside a monogamous couple, spending them into genetically unrelated offspring means a biological disaster. For example, when men spend more time away from their partners (when their partners could get the opportunity to mate with other males), the number of sperm cells per similar sperm volumes rises sharply.
In other words, even if you think you objectively remember secks being better with your ex; you can’t trust your mind. It’s more than likely that your brain is DECREASING the pleasure of having secks with other women because of a PDBO reaction.
The solution being what you already suggested, keep fucking more and more women, preferably ones you find more physically attractive than your ex. The real trick though, is going to be finding a girl who makes you work for it. Think of emotional investment as a form of capital. Right now, 90% of yours is invested into your ex. A cute, but clingy girl, will make it too easy. It’ll shift only 5% of your previous investment, still keeping you 85% invested into your ex. But a girl as cute as your ex, who doesn’t put out until you put in work, will cause much more mental mayhem. And if she occasionally distances herself and acts in all the capricious and coy ways men find irresistible, she may cause a full turn around.
For me to chalk it up as fear without knowing anything more about your relationship would be far too naive. I don’t know enough about either of you, or your dynamic with her. You’ll have to do your best to gauge the chances yourself – do you want her out of fear and dependency or is this something you’d pursue regardless? By best advice would be; if you want to play it safe, cut it loose. If you want to play the odds, go for it but be weary of signs of psychological dependency and resentment. The last thing you want is to complacently pull yourself back into a soul sucking relationship.
I have a girl in my mind that I really love, and I want to improve our relationship, I have known her for a good 7 years but I don’t know if I should ask her out, could someone plz help as I have no idea how to advance our relationship.
7 years? She has friend-zoned you hard. Pray for divine intervention.
My name’s Carlo and I’m from the Philippines (dunno if you’ve heard of it, but yes you have a reader here). I’m 18 and currently in college. About 2 months ago I found your website at a time that couldn’t have been any better, fate perhaps? To cut the story short, I played my then girlfriend for my ex and for another girl. And I got shit for it. Back then, I was dumb founded, I had no idea what the hell happened and I was even surprised with my actions. After reading some of your posts I realized, I acted the way a guy would. I cheated on her cause she withdrew sex (cause of her belief in purity, and how she’ll only have sex with me if I marry her), this girl was something else, the epitome of a disillusioned diva (probably cause of her past and background of family). She’s probably an 8, but her knowledge and control of social dynamics was far greater, I didn’t stand a chance. Though, what surprised me was that she had sex with me a week before she found out (this probably cause she sensed that I was talking to other girls, building attraction, etc.) I was a happy blind man, not realizing that THAT sex was cause she felt obliged to give it to me, not because she wanted to. Hell of a difference, it sucked btw. Anyway it haunts me when I think back, cause I realize how much of a cunt I was. And I thank you for initiating the first real time my eyes were opened to the world, oh the place where opportunists thrive and the naive succumb to the pitfalls of feminism and content never finding their purpose in life.
Now I have a couple of things that i’d like to ask you, cause I’m new to all this. And my mind is craving for enlightenment, and the problem is I have no real mentor, if ever there is an unplugged alpha here, I will never find him. So here:
1. As you might’ve noticed, asian countries (well at least us) probably fueled feminism to greater heights. Women are seen as prizes, goals, bragging rights, etc.; most of the middle class to higher classes of women probably don’t know how to drive and don’t even want to work. This then gives them a greater extent of control over the sexual market here, since they realize that their pussy can actually suffice their needs and wants. I see my facebook friends posting shit about how they found the love of their life and people commenting and liking it, even guys. I see boyfriends carrying bags, paying for everything, doing extra gay things to get the girl’s attention back; this then supports the actions of these people making them even more lost into the matrix. Now I’d like to know how exactly do you battle a culture of this? How do you go against the existing social structure when even your own family and friends support it and going against it will get you into trouble? Now I tried being aloof, but it still gets to me. I’d just love to damage that pedestal they’re all sitting on.
2. When exactly did human beings develop the idea of feminism, qualifying, and idealism? Was it bound to happen? Or was there a certain point in history that catapulted us into this kind of social structure? And if we knew what exactly this event was, can we use it again to effect change? Is that even possible now? This is probably a stupid question, since even adam and eve showed the need to qualify themselves. But if there is another answer, I’d like to know.
3. How do you find your purpose in life? Is it supposed to be something innate that you should just know, cause what if the stimuli that you were exposed to growing up affected you’re personality and thoughts in a way that you don’t really know what makes you happy and what you’re supposed to do (though this is inevitable, I’m talking about something that forced itself in your thoughts because this is what you were told to believe)? How then do you find that thing that will give you access (if you persist) to unlimited will power?
That’s it for now, I still have a lot more to ask though. Things that go beyond the surface of daily life. Thank you in advance, and again you have no idea how much you’ve helped me grow and understand myself better. If I ever meet you one day, i’d like to test how much of a man I’ve become against THE shark. Hahaha cheers! Best wishes to us.
As a response to your prelude: A girl having secks with you because she felt pressured into it versus because she spontaneously wanted to is one and the same. There is no shame to be felt about it, no reason that you should let it haunt you. In a world where purity has become a sensationalized myth, Machiavellian methods will truncate idealized romance. You feel like it sucks because you’ve been conditioned to think that it sucks. It’s a operative social convention aimed at preserving female agency by regarding intimacy as a reward for men rather than as a way for women to keep their men (the way it should be). Women are supposed to use secks to get relationships and men are supposed to use relationships to get secks. But in our world, women use their presence to get relationships and men are taught that they must be complicit with that system to get secks in the first place – which ironically dehydrates female passion. You witnessed this first hand; like you said, your girlfriend wanted to have secks with you when she detected that your attention started to shift towards other women. She gave you shit for it afterwards because she felt hoodwinked, but it was really her duping herself. Remember, always judge a girl by her actions rather than her words. She didn’t have secks with you when you were loyal. When you began to allude that you may be cheating on her, she had secks with you. What does that tell you about the nature of women? Be at peace with yourself, there is no shame in being a Man.
(1) In overly betatized societies, cultures, and communities; aloof cold asshole game will get pussies vibrating at light-speed frequencies. Because women expect to be pedestalized by men they are interested in, your infallible state control and perfect discipline will get them intrigued. The Don Juan is always the exception. He is the guy every girl is interested in because he does NOT act like every other guy. But I suspect you are already aware of this, which is why you were able to date 3 girls concurrently.
Your real challenge is not going to be to battle the culture you’re in, it’s going to be to escape that battle. Think about it this way, I say that I want all men to become Alphas, but do I really? If everyone around me suddenly stepped their game up, it would mean less pussy for me. The more your culture cultivates betas and pedestalized women, the more adept you will be at taking advantage of that culture. Women sitting atop sky high ego totems are the easiest to game – drop a few negs and bam; they’re seeking qualification from you. And betas acting desperate and needy leave more secksually arid women seeking attention from a guy like you. Let go of the hatred you feel for feminism – always be the UNCARING ASSHOLE rather than the caring asshole. You don’t want to be the guy who buys into societal myths, but neither do you want to be the cultural renegade who lets every little thing phase him. Let go of everything and embrace the world as it is.
(2) Qualifying has existed for as long as inter-gender dynamics has (since there was both a male and a female gender). It’s just the method through which one organism of a secks shows that he/she is a viable mate for someone of the opposite secks. Feminism took off I’d say in the last 100 years or so, within the context of the post-secksual revolution. We can indeed use this to affect change; feminism has been so effective because it has encompassed both the micro and macro stages. You see it governing major social changes, but at the same time, influencing a relationship in a far away part of the world. Masculinity must do the same. It needs to trickle down and function on a covert level.
(3) This is a rather interesting question, and your reasoning is correct. Our identity affects the social apparatus around us, but at the same time, our social apparatus affects our identity. Trying to figure out your “true self” in a vacuum is impossible. For instance, you may consider yourself apart of a certain religion, but you CANNOT ignore the possibility that had you been born to a different culture, your conception of truth would be completely different, and thus, you would have a radically different perception of self.
So how do you find your purpose in a life where external purposes can’t be spliced from internal ones? You can’t. It might be a scary thought for some, but the world is only what you make of it. In fact, there is no such thing as purpose nor a dichotomy between internal and external purpose. It does not intrinsically exist in this world. The word is a label given to an imaginary idea that weak people invented to justify the existence of mankind, to give it value in an infinite cosmos where we are only specks. Your job is to move past that restraint. To conceive a world where your purpose is defined however you want to define it. Read my post on Nuggets of Gold, especially point #2. I never found a purpose I was satisified with until I ripped through 15 or 20 other ones. To find yours, you need to live life fearlessly and not be afraid to jump into things. Never worry that you’re not fulfilling your “true purpose,” in life. Find the things that you love and pursue them with a never ending audacity.
Shark, I’m at an impass. I’m going to develop a product with a business partner of mine and I have two obvious courses of action I could take:
One is we work with a company a co-worker of mine has founded (let’s call this co-worker Nick), we leverage their marketing and design skills, continue to be involved in the community they’re creating (which is great for brainstorming and putting pen to paper), and learn a thing or two. On top of that there’s a programmer who works right beside and on the same team as Nick, who is also interested in working with me and my business partner. I get along well with this programmer and would like to leverage his talents. Nick would also like him to work with his company. Taking this route means forgoing IP to our product in exchange for an agreed upon portion of sales and effectively working under Nick (this is what would infuriate me most).
The other is that we get my programmer co-worker to join us instead of working for Nick’s company and risk ostracizing Nick and the community he’s building (which frankly is a good connection to maintain and I don’t have tight connections with the other members yet, a few of which are my co-workers)….
Or third as I should have thought of earlier, I speak more with my programmer co-worker, come back to Nick and tell him this is what is happening: my business partner and I are working with our mutual co-worker (which will happen at the rate things are going regardless of whether it’s under Nick’s company or mine) — re-propose my position that we own the IP and work mutually with their company to leverage their marketing and design skills (a position Nick wasn’t too fond of before since he felt they could better focus their efforts on developing internal products), and negotiate a nice margin or something else for them in return.
To be honest I give less of a shit about the money at this point than I do about developing a successful product, furthering my experience, connections in the community, and getting my name and business name out there. The issue I have is I’m not the most charismatic person ALL the time. My strength lies 1-on-1, and I’m good at being a rock solid support when presenting with one or two other speakers (particularly if they know my style), but I’m not a natural crowd-pleaser or charmer — except for in very small doses where everyone suddenly pays attention to me (need to figure out how to better capitalize on that when going out for dinner or to the bar where a large amount of time is spent together socializing). My charm comes from being direct — and the confidence that effectively backs that up comes from knowing I’m top dog and have the ability to shine.
I know if I work under Nick the resentment will build up — so realistically that’s not even an option. I can’t put him above me (even if he doesn’t frame it like that when speaking with me). I suppose I’ve answered my own question: The third option, which seemed to elude me before starting to write this, is clearly the best choice. My struggle lies in figuring out the best way to convince Nick to help develop my company’s IP and make it seem like a good deal for him (and particularly for his business partner who I have far less contact with and who I think is even more inclined to keep it under their banner). Maintaining positive relations is priority one here for the next few months. I anticipate my footing to grow stronger among the various parties to grow stronger relative to his connections over time, so this becomes less of an issue (not that I plan on brutally undercutting him, but if it came down to it and things soured I want my position to be strong enough for others to rally around me so that I’m not ostracizing potential business contacts). I could really use any words of wisdom or life
I was in this exact same situation quite a few times in my life and this is what I learned (the same lesson, over and over again):
Why the fuck am I doing business, and why did I pursue all the things I did throughout my life? The one prevailing theme, among the random clutter of activities and hobbies, has always been power. I wanted control over my own life and I realized that giving up that control to advance in any area would be subsuming the whole purpose of getting into it in the first place. If I wanted to work under someone else, I never would’ve started working on a project, I would’ve placated myself with a 9-5 job and a “steady” paycheck. But I love the thrill. I love feeling insecure. I love not knowing how something will end up. I love that my success almost fully depends on my own ability rather than the abilities of anyone else. I think you came to this same conclusion yourself, which is why you ruled out #1.
But thinking practically, you’re right, #3 would be the best option or #1 combined with a bit of sand-bagging in the end where you reserve a path to regain control of your product.
For #3, you don’t need to charismatically persuade an audience. In fact, if you do, you’re selling a bad product. Read the 48 Laws of Power if you haven’t already, otherwise, recall Law #4 – always say less than necessary. If I ever hear a presentation from a person who looks try-hard or talks too much, I assume their product sucks. On the other hand, if someone hands me a 2 page business proposal scrawled on loose leaf paper that CLEARLY indicates I will profit, I’m in. If you truly believe in your product, it will show. You don’t need to rely on oratory skills. And if, in addition to that, your product truly is worth its words; it will sell itself.
I commend you on focusing on building a good PRODUCT rather than something that will sell; it is the hallmark of a winning businessman. And trust me on this, the complex you’re lamenting about is going to end up as one of your greatest strengths. The most successful people I know share one trait: they are all secretly very insecure about their own work. They are perfectionists because they never think their work is good enough. The fact that you think you lack charisma will cause you to compensate for it by working harder to create a product that doesn’t NEED to be sold with charisma and persuasiveness. Something you could just put in front of an audience and say,
“Behold, peasants, commoners, and little people. The future.”
the question is HOW to feel alpha ?
Action precedes thought; do Alpha things to feel Alpha
What kind of guys would you say your way of running game is primarly intented for? Does looks affect how you should run game. Seems to me like direct game would be perfect for most handsome men while indirect game is intended for guys that wouldn’t have the instant value etc that some get due to looks. I’m sure certain game techniques are more effective for certain people etc. Can you do a post on this?
The effect of looks on game is ambiguous, it would be ignorant to dismiss either school of thought. A 5’4 balding butt ass ugly man can out game an Armani model if he has enough master game or social proof.
But put both of them in identical lifestyles and equalize their levels of game, and now, who do you think will be more confident? The ugly guy thinks he’s ugly, the good looking guy has been told all his life by his girl-friends that women would fuck him in a heart beat.
On the other hand, it could also be in reverse order. The good looking guy could have had a few bad experiences whereas the ugly man lucked out which fed into a positive cycle of reinforcement.
On direct game, a very good looking guy is likely to have his approach reciprocated more often; but an ugly guy might be able to compensate for his looks by the very act of cold approaching.
So you see, the answer is really “it doesn’t matter.” Don’t think about it. Game is game and as you go higher up the Alpha scale, looks become more and more irrelevant. A very good looking beta might have a better chance than a shit ugly beta; but among two Alphas the question of looks becomes irrelevant.
All the more reason to learn game.
Could you elaborate on this, I’m quite curious, From my experience all religion has done is make me want to do bad things even more ironically, also I’d like to point out that the most sluttiest girls are the ones from all girl catholic schools.
Both religion and the absence of religion have caused strife, both capitalism and communism have been responsible for a countless number of deaths, and both the right wing and the left wing are responsible for the status quo.
What’s the common denominator?
Hey shark I appreciate all the help wit the site, it has made me, without a doubt, a better man. I have a scenario in which It has been my first, looking for your feedback on this one.
Back in September, I was ‘gaming’ this girl at my school, were both in grade 12. She is a perfect fucking 10, perfect ass, perfect tits, perfect face, without a doubt the hottest at my school. We had everything going good, attraction was through the roof, until November hit. I had been sucked into her demon ways and at that point I had been treating her like a ‘beta’, this was before I found out about this site of course. By December, she had given me the ‘Lets Just Be Friends’, heartbroken, I had accepted reality and treated her like a friend. My first real heartbreak. Ever since then I had not given her any signs of jealousy and had moved on with my life, not texting her for anything but homework help. Not knowing moving on with my life after LJBF, increased attraction, she had given me some shit tests, in which I thought she was just being a bitch. At about 9 PM I texted her.
Me: Hey… did you do the English essay?
*2 hours pass and she finally texts back, she normally replies instantly*
bitch: Why are you talking to me? I swear I told you to lose my number?
Me: No time to make up tonight hun, I have homework…
bitch: Then just delete my number or I’ll block you myself!
It ended bad in December, I had treated her like a complete jerk as well. Normally, the responses that came out of me shocked her since I was giving her beta resentment in the past. It ended bad to the point where I deleted her off Facebook and we had not talked ever since. At this point I had looked up on the internet about help with relationships and eventually found this site. Reading upon letting go, I completely moved on with my life, not giving 2 shits about her. I also read and kept in mind how she never got the ego inflation from me, which she was going to look for. One day she came on my bus with her friends, she sat right in front of me. Talking so much about guys and how happy her life was, I could instantly decipher that she was trying to make me jealous. I showed no emotion or attention, I got off my stop like any regular one.
Through the first few months of 2012, she has seen me with many girls (HB8+) at our school. I have been working out and dress 10x better. Now today, April 24, I was waiting at my bus stop. She comes out of nowhere and stands at the bus stop across the street. I noticed her ass got a lot bigger and so did her tits, the sight made me want to angry fuck the shit out of her. After 5 minutes, we finally locked eyes and she smiled and waved at me. I had given her no response but a straight look in the eyes, confused, she tried another attempt to wave, I guess hoping to get a wave back. I did nothing but look her dead in the eyes. After a few minutes I looked and noticed her staring at me, but once I made eye contact, she looked away instantly. Her bus came and she went on it.
Now I read how going back to your ex will slow down your recovery process. But ever since that heartbreak with her in December, and upon finding this site my success with woman increased dramatically. I had learned from my beta ways and I thank her for breaking my heart, as it is the only thing that made me evolve into the alpha I am now. I had multiple woman interested with me, all HB8+, and have been successful with them so far. I am convinced that I have become alpha, but still crave to be the ultimate alpha. I am convinced that if I talk to her again I WILL NOT resort back to my beta ways. I do want to fuck the shit out of her, and I know at one point she wanted to too. Since I have been a crybaby bitch beta with her for the most part in the past, I will have to give her some hard dick game, to show her that i have indeed changed. Any ideas about going upon this? How should I react when we see each other in the halls? Even if I can be just friends with her, I know it will spark competitive anxiety with the plethora of woman interested in me at my school.
You won’t need much to convince her that you “changed.” If she sees you with other girls, she’ll rationalize her new found attraction for you (a result of competitive anxiety) as a shift in your own personality, not in her perception of you; although both of those things may be factors.
I know you think you won’t revert back to your beta ways; but the very fact that this instance matters to you so much is indicative of premature Oneitis. You have other girls interested in you, why not go for them?
Either ways, if you do go for your ex, I trust you have changed enough to understand how to better handle situations. Don’t let go of your cards and keep competitive anxiety high. A hate fuck is a possible option, but be weary of getting caught up in a past flame.
I was with a girl for a couple months and she was infatuated. She took me on trips, bought me gifts, and sexed me up real nice. I was very aloof, passed her shit tests, and never once gave her any reason to believe I enjoyed her company other than actually spending 1 day a week with her. She was overt in her communication about how she felt with me, and not only was I not overt, but I wasn’t even covert. I kind of treated her like an fbuddy. I had known her for years prior to actually hooking up, and always had higher status (known her for about 7 years or so). I am 3 years older. She is in college and I am working at a great job. We met over the summer and after a couple months she had to go back to school. Anyway, the distance was really too much for me to bear and I felt I needed to do something to keep her interest in me high. We took turns visiting, and I eventually asked her to be exclusive. I know, I know…never ask for exclusivity.
Anyway, I asked her out, she said yes, then I took it back because I wasn’t ready. I felt bad about doing that, and right around the time I took it back she became more distant. At this point my affections became more overt. For two weeks I was pretty bad with my communication, and it drove her away (my only AFC tendencies). This is just the backdrop on the story. I’m pretty sure she has moved on to her MAJOR beta “friend.” Someone who was her shoulder to cry on when we were having issues. This guy is really AFC. Because I have known this girl for so long, she knows that the two weeks I spent clinging to her really isn’t my personality. All her previous boyfriends have been hard core betas. She lost her virginity to me. I guess my main question is: Is it natural for a woman to leave an alpha relationship to SEEK a beta relationship? I know you have done a post on this before…but any insight would be helpful. Perhaps she just enjoyed the thrill of getting a beta reaction out of someone she placed high value on? If this is the case, how is it possible to re-establish alpha in her mind?
You answered your own question with the second to last line. She enjoyed the thrill of getting a beta reaction from someone she perceived as an Alpha. The male equivalent of a woman consuming and breaking the ego of a man she thought was better than her is a man fucking a girl he thought was way out of his league and cuming inside of her 100 times straight.
2 weeks of beta backsliding compounded with the fickle nature of women is much worse than you think. The amount of attraction you lost depends on your degree of backsliding, not the length of time it spanned.
Re-establishing yourself as a dominant Alpha will take time, it is not your primary goal. Right now you want to inject a bit of emotional turbulence in her. If she’s already sought out a rebound, no-contact will not be enough. You must resort to the most nuclear of all emotions; jealousy.