What’s she thinking?
Two readers commented on Oneitis, and a certain prevailing theme seems to require adressing:
I am so Fucken stuck in oneitis ! I let this girl pull me back in after i was almost away , as soon as she found out I was dating she was right there feeding whatever i needed to be fed to pull me back in , I backed off , i shielded my heart , but where the fuck am i now , heartache !
Shark — read your book front to back twice, read most of your articles and all the ones in the break up section, but thing is, I still can’t get over my Oneitis. its like she knows what im thinking and does the exact right things to suck me back in to it over and over again. i think i know what you’re going to say but still, enlighten me my sensi
How is it that women are so adept at keeping their boyfriends tethered to their Oneitses?
The answer lies in a woman’s intimate relationship with her hamster, the subconscious part of her mind that governs attraction and houses a reservoir of information regarding inter-gender dynamics and the art of romance. Through a combination of genetic programming and consistent regimens of study (men analyze sports and money when they get together, whereas women analyze men), by the time a girl hits her first relationship she is more synchronized with game then you will ever be; intuitively that is. While a seasoned Don Juan can far surpass women in the tactical manipulation of social dynamics due to an unmatchable analytical understanding of the subject; he will never rival the organic game all women are born with.
And thus when a girl catches herself amidst the turbulent end of a relationship, a series of unconscious protocols kicks in.
Look better
Talk to other guys
Show him it’s not affecting you
Lose any weight you gained
Make him jealous
etc, etc. In other words, all the shit I need to hammer into your heads through repeat over-exposure, she has already internalized into her core understanding of relationship science. This is why you’ll sometimes wonder “Is this even affecting her? If it is, she’s really good at acting like it’s not.” Unlike you, she doesn’t feel its counter-intuitive to act aloof, she knows what must be done to regain attraction. She has no internal resistance as she’s baiting you into a jealousy bear trap.
All this of course, comes with the obvious vulnerability of only functioning intuitively. Without the emotionally sterilized grasp of game men are capable of attaining, women become more averse to having the script flipped on them. So when you go no contact or set a margin of jealousy about your relationship, everything changes. Introduce a bit of chaos and watch how it makes her veneer of rock solid state control schism into a thousand and one pieces.
Among the various habits of her hamster is the impulse to seek confirmation for a decision. When a girl breaks up with you, she needs to know that her decision was right. That’s where no contact or jealousy comes in – it tells her that her perception of you during the break up might have been INCONGRUENT. “Oh shit, maybe he’s not a loser?” or “Wow, maybe I DO like him if I miss him so much.” And in a case where you get pulled back into a Oneitis after a few easy girl gimmicks, the opposite happens. Attraction declines again, she realizes she’s more secure than she thought, and that oh so familiar bubble of ennui and frustration starts its cycle of begging to be burst again, and again, and again… and again.
She’s looking for affirmation from a father figure just as she always has. And if she gets it too quickly, there’s nothing to strive for. Worse yet, if you lose your edge in dominance, you no longer maintain the position of her needing affirmation from you at all. As creatures absorbed in the practice of trading up the social ladder, she needs approval from someone above, not below.
So relax the fuck out. Take a vicodin, hit up another girl, punch the wall, and then vibe to some Dean Martin. If you see yourself getting pulled back into the same Oneitis over and over again, take a step back to evaluate the reasons why the relationship has so strongly mauled your soul. She’s not any better than the other girl you were considering, your mind is just more strongly attached to the girl you have already invested so much into. It wants to fix this relationship instead of pursuing a fresh one. But like any intelligent investor will tell you -
Turn-arounds never turn around.
I know the feeling, my had ex and I dated for 4 years, she broke up with me cause she was confused and needed a break. She moved out and despite feeling messed up inside I went nc and moved on. Went out drinking with mates and found it easy as to pickup as I was stilling thinking of my ex alot at the time. I eventually met a girl about an 8 at a table in a bar sitting on her own texting on her phone while I could see her hot friend dancing with an nerdy looking guy, she looked like she wasn’t enjoying it. I walked up to her at the table on her own. We hit it off and went on a date the following weekend.
Half way though our first date we went to a bar I rarely go to and just so happen to bump into my ex. My ex got upset and walked off crying. I didn’t tell the new girl about her being my ex. At this point we had been apart for about 4 months. Surprise surprise a week later my ex wanted to “meet up”. She was sorry about breaking up with me and made a mistake. She was being all nice to me, but I didn’t want to fall into her trap. I kept hanging out with the new hot girl, but some how my ex lured me back in. I think the history we had together was what lured me back and the fact that she offered heaps of great secks.
We got back together and the new girl not knowing she was my ex must of noticed that we were together on facebook. Surprise surprise the new girl wanted me to come out with her, so I quietly did with out letting my ex know about it and she asked to become exclusive. I was confused at the time eventually things ended with both of them and my ex is now with one if my former friends. Then I found your blog and have been going from there since then. Its kind of put me off woman since and knowing all their secrets I’m finding it hard to want to meet someone new again. How can I forget, learn from this and really move on without thinking women are bad cause I know they are not?
Shark, I’m at an impass. I’m going to develop a product with a business partner of mine and I have two obvious courses of action I could take:
One is we work with a company a co-worker of mine has founded (let’s call this co-worker Nick), we leverage their marketing and design skills, continue to be involved in the community they’re creating (which is great for brainstorming and putting pen to paper), and learn a thing or two. On top of that there’s a programmer who works right beside and on the same team as Nick, who is also interested in working with me and my business partner. I get along well with this programmer and would like to leverage his talents. Nick would also like him to work with his company. Taking this route means forgoing IP to our product in exchange for an agreed upon portion of sales and effectively working under Nick (this is what would infuriate me most).
The other is that we get my programmer co-worker to join us instead of working for Nick’s company and risk ostracizing Nick and the community he’s building (which frankly is a good connection to maintain and I don’t have tight connections with the other members yet, a few of which are my co-workers)….
Or third as I should have thought of earlier, I speak more with my programmer co-worker, come back to Nick and tell him this is what is happening: my business partner and I are working with our mutual co-worker (which will happen at the rate things are going regardless of whether it’s under Nick’s company or mine) – re-propose my position that we own the IP and work mutually with their company to leverage their marketing and design skills (a position Nick wasn’t too fond of before since he felt they could better focus their efforts on developing internal products), and negotiate a nice margin or something else for them in return.
To be honest I give less of a shit about the money at this point than I do about developing a successful product, furthering my experience, connections in the community, and getting my name and business name out there. The issue I have is I’m not the most charismatic person ALL the time. My strength lies 1-on-1, and I’m good at being a rock solid support when presenting with one or two other speakers (particularly if they know my style), but I’m not a natural crowd-pleaser or charmer – except for in very small doses where everyone suddenly pays attention to me (need to figure out how to better capitalize on that when going out for dinner or to the bar where a large amount of time is spent together socializing). My charm comes from being direct – and the confidence that effectively backs that up comes from knowing I’m top dog and have the ability to shine.
I know if I work under Nick the resentment will build up – so realistically that’s not even an option. I can’t put him above me (even if he doesn’t frame it like that when speaking with me). I suppose I’ve answered my own question: The third option, which seemed to elude me before starting to write this, is clearly the best choice. My struggle lies in figuring out the best way to convince Nick to help develop my company’s IP and make it seem like a good deal for him (and particularly for his business partner who I have far less contact with and who I think is even more inclined to keep it under their banner). Maintaining positive relations is priority one here for the next few months. I anticipate my footing to grow stronger among the various parties to grow stronger relative to his connections over time, so this becomes less of an issue (not that I plan on brutally undercutting him, but if it came down to it and things soured I want my position to be strong enough for others to rally around me so that I’m not ostracizing potential business contacts). I could really use any words of wisdom or life experience that you could share with me here.
Buf, ater month and a half im doing a LITTLE better on my oneitis.
Damn, I’ve been suffering so much. Luckily I did not go contacting her, asking common friends about her, etc. I’ve met other girls, but yet nothing has happened…I lack a lot of experience, which I’m trying to get now.
In the end… I’m too busy and having hard time with my studies, life and future that it’s just even hard to do all the planning, or thinking about future things that could happen with her.. it’s just lame, I shouldn’t be having time for this crap.
Thanks Shark, you’ve helped a lot. I, of course, didn’t handle it the best. But I can’t imagine how bad I would have handled it if it wasn’t for your blog and your altruism. I always get that feeling of wanting to at least “fix” how bad it went, specially at the end. Eventhough we don’t get back together..just fix that bad taste it left in my mouth. She was unconsidarate, insulted me, blamed me of a million things to make me explode and get to break up. In the end she was so desperate to do this that she broke up because I said she was ‘ungrateful’. I’m serious, I just that after she didn’t stop saying absolutely horrible things, specially about me helping her out a LOT. I did a lot for her, and she said, after saying a LOT of other million things, that I did shit helping her, not good enough, not with enough will, etc etc. So I said she was ungrateful. that’s all. Either that or because I said I wouldn’t do a little thing she asked me to do for her(I started seeing she was just using me). (Note: she broke up through Instant Messaging)
Sounds like it’s just happened in one day, but you could say it was the last few months when things were just much worse than they usually were. Things were just being ridiculously bad, and that last day was the atomic bomb exploding. The weird thing is that I still get that feeling “I love her” and all that crap. It’s a weird feeling. Never had it with any other girl. Probably fear of loss? But I already have lost her! She hasn’t contacted me in month and a half ater the break up. That’s a deal breaker already for me(see? before I would have dropped everything anytime to get back to her). You break up with me like that in such a hypocritical way, insulting me, and trying to hurt me in the worst way possible and then you don’t contact me in at least month and a half(and counting) to at least apologize?
Anyways, my betaness is still like those Alien movies. It’s in my body and it’s trying to come out of my chest. I STILL want to fix things. ME! Seriously, wtf. I should be waiting for her to come, kneel in front of me and kiss my shoes asking for forgiveness and then I would have to consider for a long time if she can get back to my life or if she has been deported for life from Alejandro-landia.
I have only once chance to see her again. She has to get some very important material from my computer. So she supposedly has to come to my home, or give me the USB and then get me to get it back to her, or juts get it herself directly at my home. Even though I read the blog, I was still imagining, fantasizing, and making stupid plans. OK, they were plans of being alpha, uncaring, looking good, happy, etc.(external game), but still, it was eating me alive.
I was making hopes for a hopeless cause. I still sometimes think about it. I thought that having that thing gave me control over her…but the truth is is that it is controling ME. She has me by the balls with that thing. So..I made a DVD. I will give it to any of our common friends I see next time. A DVD with the info she wants, not even a name on the damn DVD. She lost already the chance to see me, to get me back. She won’t even have a motive/excuse to see me again. Plus if she wants to, at least I know it’s not to use me again(for the DVD). And I’ll probably give it to the girl that was my most intimate friend(more than any guy) that suddenly got ultra bitchy for no apparent reason(and because of this the less attention I gave her, the more bitchy she was) and switched sides with her, became her ultra great friend and shared with her lies about me, my deepest insecurities and just went to hurt our relationship. I didn’t have a big reaction to this..I acted like nothing happened.. -except that she’s not my friend anymore, obviously, but I didn’t react to what she did – She just wanted the drama, and I ain’t giving her any. So next time I see her “Could you get this to her?” and PAM! It will be over. Forever.
Following that Alien metaphor; this blog has given me an armor..that not just protects from outside blows. That metal plate also is pushing down and containing that betaness that wants to rip out og my chest till it starves if I don’t let it come out and breathe.
Am I super alpha? have I solved my life? Will I be now the most succesful man with women and life? Hell no. I’m still the same guy, I’m still beta, I still make the most stupid mistakes. But I took that first step. After the worst(and decisive) thing that could ever happen to a really beta guy happened… I took that step. That step that not everybody dare to take. I lost “the love of my life”, she hurt me in the worst possible way she could think of, I was also backstabbed by my best friend, and in general life wasn’t going good and is still not going good. But thanks to your little push you gave me, I took that little step to cross that shaky rope bridge. Is it scary? Fuck, it’s scary!!! I’ve been a month and a half thinking about that little step!! Imagine how scary that is! Specially to people with vertigo like me.
But you gave me a little pat on the shoulder, and pushed me a bit to take that step. Now you cannot reach me anymore, I’m too far from you, but you are still cheering me up. And in the end… yeah it’s scary…but not as I imagined as it would be when I was in the ground. I feel my heart upside down, but I already took that step, I took the pain. As a motivational speech called “Pain is Temporary” said: “You are already in pain; get a reward from it!”.
(note: I really recommend also one motivational speech called “We are created to be individual”. All can be found in youtube)
Do I want to take that step back? Everyday, every hour, every minute of my messy life. I just want to be on firm ground! Am I gonna take it? NOPE! And if I fall of that bridge, it will be trying to cross it. That bridge is shaking like crazy now, but that’s because I’m shaking too. Because I’m scared…I’m almost panicking, and because I still don’t know how to walk on it. But as I learn I won’t shake so much, and I will learn the best way to walk through it. It will get better, and sometimes it will shake worse, but that’s how life is. It just shakes and makes you almost fall of it sometimes. But FINALLY, I got a good grip on the rope, I won’t fall, I promise.
Years in my life I never took that step to get into the bridge. But there you were Shark. And there you were, followers of shark that also want to cross it, or that are already in the middle of the bridge doing great. There you were, other men that didn’t have the luck to know who Shark or similar people is, but still wanted to go to the other side of said bridge, but maybe didn’t even know where that bridge is and are trying to think of others way to cross. And seeing you all fighting, and helping each other gave me hope in humanity. I want to be part of that humanity, this one I can fight for, this one I can take risks for.
Shark, it’s going to be hard…. but I will see you on the otherside. For you are on both sides, giving that little push at the beginning, and extending your hand to us at the end of the way. But except the 1st and last step, we gotta do this by ourselves.
Shark, readers of Sharks, see you on the other side.
Shark,
My name’s Carlo and I’m from the Philippines (dunno if you’ve heard of it, but yes you have a reader here). I’m 18 and currently in college. About 2 months ago I found your website at a time that couldn’t have been any better, fate perhaps? To cut the story short, I played my then girlfriend for my ex and for another girl. And I got shit for it. Back then, I was dumb founded, I had no idea what the hell happened and I was even surprised with my actions. After reading some of your posts I realized, I acted the way a guy would. I cheated on her cause she withdrew sex (cause of her belief in purity, and how she’ll only have sex with me if I marry her), this girl was something else, the epitome of a disillusioned diva (probably cause of her past and background of family). She’s probably an 8, but her knowledge and control of social dynamics was far greater, I didn’t stand a chance. Though, what surprised me was that she had sex with me a week before she found out (this probably cause she sensed that I was talking to other girls, building attraction, etc.) I was a happy blind man, not realizing that THAT sex was cause she felt obliged to give it to me, not because she wanted to. Hell of a difference, it sucked btw. Anyway it haunts me when I think back, cause I realize how much of a cunt I was. And I thank you for initiating the first real time my eyes were opened to the world, oh the place where opportunists thrive and the naive succumb to the pitfalls of feminism and content never finding their purpose in life.
Now I have a couple of things that i’d like to ask you, cause I’m new to all this. And my mind is craving for enlightenment, and the problem is I have no real mentor, if ever there is an unplugged alpha here, I will never find him. So here:
1. As you might’ve noticed, asian countries (well at least us) probably fueled feminism to greater heights. Women are seen as prizes, goals, bragging rights, etc.; most of the middle class to higher classes of women probably don’t know how to drive and don’t even want to work. This then gives them a greater extent of control over the sexual market here, since they realize that their pussy can actually suffice their needs and wants. I see my facebook friends posting shit about how they found the love of their life and people commenting and liking it, even guys. I see boyfriends carrying bags, paying for everything, doing extra gay things to get the girl’s attention back; this then supports the actions of these people making them even more lost into the matrix. Now I’d like to know how exactly do you battle a culture of this? How do you go against the existing social structure when even your own family and friends support it and going against it will get you into trouble? Now I tried being aloof, but it still gets to me. I’d just love to damage that pedestal they’re all sitting on.
2. When exactly did human beings develop the idea of feminism, qualifying, and idealism? Was it bound to happen? Or was there a certain point in history that catapulted us into this kind of social structure? And if we knew what exactly this event was, can we use it again to effect change? Is that even possible now? This is probably a stupid question, since even adam and eve showed the need to qualify themselves. But if there is another answer, I’d like to know.
3. How do you find your purpose in life? Is it supposed to be something innate that you should just know, cause what if the stimuli that you were exposed to growing up affected you’re personality and thoughts in a way that you don’t really know what makes you happy and what you’re supposed to do (though this is inevitable, I’m talking about something that forced itself in your thoughts because this is what you were told to believe)? How then do you find that thing that will give you access (if you persist) to unlimited will power?
That’s it for now, I still have a lot more to ask though. Things that go beyond the surface of daily life. Thank you in advance, and again you have no idea how much you’ve helped me grow and understand myself better. If I ever meet you one day, i’d like to test how much of a man I’ve become against THE shark. Hahaha cheers! Best wishes to us.
Hey Shark, Kinda needed to read this today. Ex wants me back. We went through a sort of honeymoon period where we spent some time together, although I told her I couldn’t just take her back without considering the future and what I wanted. She slept around a bit since we broke up and I haven’t.
So last night I finally slept with another girl. Cute, fun to be around, she smokes which is a turn off, sex was ok, but not near as good as with my ex…it was kinda fumbling in the dark. I feel like a machine with my ex, with this girl I honestly don’t know if she was faking or not, and didn’t care much really. New girl is getting kinda clingy, I’m keeping her at arms length.
Here’s the issue. After sex, I was pretty sure I wanted my ex back…this wasn’t as good as what I could be having, plus there are solid feelings between us. I’m not going to jump the gun, I’m going to go out and meet more women, sleep with more to see what I’m missing. But is it oneitis every time I think of my ex? Can I not legitimately want to be with her as a better girl than those I’ve been meeting, or would you chalk it up to fear and what’s easy?
shark, is there ever a time when it is appropriate to fight for a girl- metaphorically speaking? for example, if you were TOO much of an asshole and actually really hurt her, is it ok to be a beta and ask for her forgiveness? how would you handle this? no contact isn’t working
Oneits again, hehehe!
Good job!
I have a question.
You and Roissy says that show Vulnerability in the right moment is a powerful game tool.
Shark, You never wrote a post about “how to show vulnerability in a relationship”. Can you do it ?
^^^ I’ll second that. Can u plz enlighten us?
venerability is like saying you love them;
or holding them and feeling comfortable.
it’s love, fool’s, just rise with it, and enjoy
’cause it happens
Hey Shark, I am in dire need of your expertise.
First, I cannot issue you enough praise for ‘unplugging’ me and for ‘unplugging’ all these guys.
A few months ago my oneitis and I went our separate ways after 4 years of me slowly being made into her beta bitch. During that time, my social life became deceased and I put all my time and effort into that relationshit. I started college whilst in the relationship and didn’t make an effort to meet ANYONE. I went to parties/bars/clubs, but mostly hovered around my oneitis. I fucked myself big time and am now virtually friend-less. The only people I know now, I met through my ex; the oneitis. And she is WAY better friends with any given one of them.
My friends from highschool are all either battling pending legal charges or are so immersed in the matrix that unplugging them would call for the likes of someone much more experienced than myself. I’d turn them onto your blog, but I don’t know if they could handle (or would actually try to read and understand) it.
My question is this: With my new reformed self, should I attempt to talk to her friends/acquantinces (who are mostly girls) and maybe game them? Is it a lost cause?
How about my old beta friends? Ditch them? Attempt to become their mentor?
Any advice you can provide would be deeply and immensely appreciated. I’m pretty much on my own and have been spending A LOT of time alone working on myself. Too much time, maybe.
You’re doing an awesome thing by operating this blog. We are all in debt to you, Shark. If you ever need a kidney, man, I’m sure I’m not the only one who would oblige.
I fucking love you dude,
-Ben
Shark,
I am just trying to learn and understand more on female psychology (What goes on in her mind). I was recently dating a girl who I thought was the girl for me. She was never a partier, never much of a drinker. Long story short I beta back slided and the relationship went south. She broke up with me. She is supposed to be happy. This is “what she wanted” right? So why does she seem so miserable still? I have bounced back to my old confident Alpha self, I have remained no contact the entire time. I have lost 2 pant sizes, I am furthering my career and living for me. I do miss her (I have not managed to meet any hotter women…. yet) It almost seems the more No contact I go, the less I don’t beg for her and the more confident I seem the less happy she becomes. The more she backslides into some form of juvenile.
I found out she has taken up smoking as 1) a form of stress relief 2) to fit in and have something in common with the rest of the guys we work with 3) a pathetic attempt at a shit test towards me because she knows my distaste for that filthy habit. She also tells me how much a partier she has become and how big of a drinker she is. She is constantly pretending to be somebody she is not around others. At this point in time, nothing surprises me anymore about her. She might have become a total slut or prostitute. Wouldn’t surprise me…
My question to you is what happened to the girl I once knew? She always seemed so grounded and knew what she wanted in her life and none of those things were it. Or was this always the real version of her, the version I have never met that existed before I came along. We dated for well over a year, she couldn’t possibly have hid this side from me for that long.
Or has the stress of the break up that she wanted caused her brain to explode and cause all of these things to happen? She is some form of crazy. It is safe to say that she does not have any form of feelings for me anymore. She should be happy after dumping me. This is what she wanted after all. Any help or advice would be most appreciated.
CONFESSION OF A GENTLEMAN
hey, shark
your blog changed my thinking and i am deeply thankful to you.
now, like everyone else, i have a problem too…
i know i am change mentally but when it comes to transform my life and change actions, i am still at the same road i was before and i have reasons for all this.
1- when ever i want to change myself, i make a list of pros and cons to the extent that they confuses me and makes me feel that whatever i am planning will not lead me wherever i want to be.
2- my lack of confidence that hampers me to approach women and reasons for that?
ok, i was a very good looking guy till i was 12 but then i got involved with cricket and i was so passionate about the sport that i used to play it alone sometimes in the sun at 46 degree celcius, my sun starved skin in the proof and now, since i gave up the sport for my acedemics, the worst thing happen that i am so sun starved that i find myself ugly.
3- i was in love with three girls in my life till now, all of them dumped me for the soul reason- I WAS TOO NICE TO THEM. and i learn from my mistake but the confidence of approaching is not there.
4- you say money is not everything but i am doing LAW from no. 1 private college of india on education loan and i live with my parents but they can’t afford my education.
how can i ask a girl for a date when i don’t have money to pay the date? “i am literally crying right now because this is true” and what’s the cure?
take a part time job? but my law career requires me to do part time internship for my cv, still i am considering to pick up waiter job.
5- i know i sounds like a total loser or energy drainer but i do have talents.
i came 2nd on ALL INDIA GK QUIZ COMP. when i was 11.
i want to be a writer/director because i am really passionate about it. and the proof that i am not like another waanabe writer is that my short story is published by javed sidhqui who wrote BEST INDIAN MOVIE- DDLJ.
now, why i am doing law? because writing hardly pays and law guarantees money and safe base so i can dream big about being the best indian writer once i get that security.
6- i have read about the asshole game but the kind of environment i am grown up is makes me so fucking empathic towards others that i only see good in people and i feels so bad about them sometimes that i can sometimes because of their suffering.
7- i consider a very strong headed person and unpredictable person by my friends because i never show my sensitive side to anyone. i have never cried in public no matter how worst the day is or eight people beats me because i had the balls to stand for my self respect but i am saying all this to you because to be very frank, i am tired of being strong, i do need someone to share my shit.
you know there are few guys who said that they want to be like me- there are days when i am so strong that i am untouchable but while other days, it’s just me against the whole world.
8- there are so many things i fucking hate in my life- my father, my short height, my polite voice, the image of someone fucking the girl who was my first love and the worst part is that i have to live with all this, i don’t know the way to change all the fucking this.
9- it’s not that i didn’t do anything yet to change it. i started rapping instead of writing because women love rappers and loath writers but it didn’t feels right deep down inside, so i left it for myself because writing is my passion.
10- i know i am crying that how hard it’s for me and there are many more miserable than me but i spend my time wisely instead of complaining to others. after that girl dumped me i surrounded myself with books, from old indian classics to dan brown to charles bukowski, and six more writers i have read them all.
i also read about philosphy, and surrounds myself with Classic rock music (my favourite) but after two months when i saw that girl again with that asshole, the image of his dick in her beautiful pussy breaks my heart again and i felt that i haven’t done anything worthwhile because the ignorant fuck has still the pussy whereas i am forever alone.
11- when i think what i want then this question comes in my mind, I WANT TO BE THE BEST WRITER OF THIS WORLD because i know deep down i have everything to be that. yes, i know i am the fucking hero of my movie but the funny thing is that only i know that.
now, it a really long post and chances are that you didn’t read it till here because of your busy life and many guys asking for help, but
if you still kind enough, (which i am desperately in my heart begging) then my question is that
i am suffering for oneitites, inner game problems, outer game problems and mental problems too,
but WHERE TO START THE CHANGE FROM?
She’s not any better than the other girl you were considering, your mind is just more strongly attached to the girl you have already invested so much into….
Maybe?..trouble is..what if she was smoking hot…and you had loads of hot sex & fun together? Not so easy then …is it? I agree with you premise…but some chix get into your unconscious …especially if they are hot!
shark, is there ever a time when it is appropriate to fight for a girl- metaphorically speaking? for example, if you were TOO much of an asshole and actually really hurt her, is it ok to be a beta and ask for her forgiveness? how would you handle this? no contact isn’t working
No! Been there….it won’t work! Move on!
Or has the stress of the break up that she wanted caused her brain to explode and cause all of these things to happen? She is some form of crazy
She sounds like she’s messed up….maybe a attention seeker, maybe LSE freak, or is acting that way…she may have feeling for you still or she may be just playing with your head for the fun of it…ie attention. Her stories about her drinking are probably bullshit..more attention..or maybe attraction…difficult to tell? She may be BPD?