With the increasing number of comments, I realize it might be difficult to find your response so I’ve included everyone’s name in this one. If you do not have time to read through all of them, ctrl + F to search for your answer (M, you might want to use a different name).
With the gay marriage debate heating up in the US after North Carolina banned gay marriage overwhelmingly, i began to think, and im stuck in my own thought process and want to hear your explanation if you have one to jar my brain free. Is being gay genetic? I know some scientists have/or are trying to prove there is a “gay gene” but wouldnt that be against evolution and natural selection? For instance if it was genetic wouldnt it be weeded out through evolution because people who are gay do not reproduce with members of the opposite sex, thus passing on their genes? I know there are some couples who artificially have kids, through a surrogate or other means, but i dont believe this to be the majority. There have been accounts of gay people for hundreds of years. They say Alexander the Great was gay. So shouldnt there be significantly less gay people today if its genetic due to it being weeded out through evolution? Seems to be the opposite today. There seems to be more gay people.
I dont mean for this to be a political post or for you to even share your personal belief on the issue, just a look at it from evolutionary perspective. Maybe im missing something, but i cant figure out how being gay is genetic.
Thank You Shark
I do not have much scientifically grounded knowledge on the subject; but if you want my opinion, being gay is a genetic quality and cannot be changed anymore than one’s height or ethnicity. The etiquette they share is far too all-encompassing and consistently apparent for it to be a conscious choice or a result of socialization. Where do gay people fairly isolated from “gay culture” still learn to “act gay?” And by that, I do not mean their disposition towards certain secksual acts, but rather, their entire personality phenotype. There may be exceptions, but the rule is made by what is common. The question of “shouldn’t they be weeded out if it’s genetic?” is easily dismissed – gay animals exist. If it’s a choice then it would have to be a spontaneous one, lest gay animals secretly play out their own broke back mountain roles within the confines of their habitat and teach each other why being gay would be a preferable lifestyle.
I think, or rather prophesize, that they will never find a gay “gene.” It is more likely the result of a combination of different endowments that result in someone being homosecksual. In other words, it is a holistic quality (with possible environmental influences), not one that stems from a specific gay gene. I could be wrong. As for how it could persist through evolution, the same reason why we still have diseases and genetic mutations. Yes, evolutionarily speaking, it would indeed be a dysfunctional quality, but so would [insert 1 trillion recurring disorders and genetic shortcomings].
Hi Shark I have been reading and implementing from this amazing blog and The Black Flag the only thing running in my mind is the concept of KARMA does it really exist or is it all just a story in our heads.
I know way too many assholes in full Machiavellian force who enjoy elated lifestyles to believe in an omniscient system that returns all of your bad deeds to you. And if they were simply exceptions and Karma did exist – I know way too many nice guys who should be getting laid but aren’t. No, I don’t believe in externalizing the idea of karma as something that guides the order of the world. It is simply a value that one should hold. Do positive things, surround yourself with positive people, think positively, and positive things will happen to you. Do the opposite, and negative things will follow. The assholes in the above example are of the former – they may “fuck other people over,” but they all share an insatiable hunger for life and a euphoria that comes from simply being alive.
Hey Shark, I am in dire need of your expertise.
First, I cannot issue you enough praise for ‘unplugging’ me and for ‘unplugging’ all these guys.
A few months ago my oneitis and I went our separate ways after 4 years of me slowly being made into her beta bitch. During that time, my social life became deceased and I put all my time and effort into that relationshit. I started college whilst in the relationship and didn’t make an effort to meet ANYONE. I went to parties/bars/clubs, but mostly hovered around my oneitis. I fucked myself big time and am now virtually friend-less. The only people I know now, I met through my ex; the oneitis. And she is WAY better friends with any given one of them.
My friends from highschool are all either battling pending legal charges or are so immersed in the matrix that unplugging them would call for the likes of someone much more experienced than myself. I’d turn them onto your blog, but I don’t know if they could handle (or would actually try to read and understand) it.
My question is this: With my new reformed self, should I attempt to talk to her friends/acquantinces (who are mostly girls) and maybe game them? Is it a lost cause?
How about my old beta friends? Ditch them? Attempt to become their mentor?
Any advice you can provide would be deeply and immensely appreciated. I’m pretty much on my own and have been spending A LOT of time alone working on myself. Too much time, maybe.
You’re doing an awesome thing by operating this blog. We are all in debt to you, Shark. If you ever need a kidney, man, I’m sure I’m not the only one who would oblige.
I fucking love you dude,
A multi-pronged assault is in call. I cannot say that isolating yourself from the world because you are surrounded by unfavorable circumstances would be the way to go; I have had way too many people make huge differences in my life for the better. You should, however, screen the people you spend time with the same you would filter out bad habits. The position you’re in is a good opportunity to force yourself to be social. Find people you believe would uplift you rather than hold you back. Being with new people would be preferable either ways; the assumptions and inaudible envy of your current friends will slow down your progress. Ditching them isn’t necessary. You can hang out with them, socialize with them, but keep enough distance so as to limit their tangible influence on you. Beta males are like crabs in a barrel, they would hate to imagine the possibility of one escaping the predicament of the entire group.
Gaming your ex’s friends is not a question, you should game any girl you’re interested in. The circumstances are irrelevant. Man fucks woman. The only thing you should avoid is having lapses of emotion regarding your ex. If you believe you’ll get caught up with her by being around her friends, then avoid them all together. Don’t be afraid to venture out and find new people. I find that people tend to stick to their old friends more out of habit than anything else.
You’ve changed something in the site codes, the page numbers at the bottom of the page aren’t see-able, i’ve got to highlight them in order to see. New viewers might not get it.
I have someone else manage everything besides the actual writing of articles, nothing has been changed recently. It may be your browser, I can see the numbers.
2:30am. Just got in. Field report/Update time.
I went out with a bunch of my co-workers and the girl in question above. I didn’t make it awkward at all, but I fed the sexual tension between us. I utilized every ounce of my charm to laugh it up with co-workers, while seeing her constantly look at me, as if wondering why I was having such a good time and I wasn’t miserable. All she got from me was a toss of my head for a hello, and a few light negs, but other than that, I paid her very little attention. She was hammered; I wasn’t drinking but I was still having fun. This confused her.
The bar closes. Everyone’s saying goodbye, and our groups are coming together. I walk off while saying goodbye to some of the coworkers I’m friends with and walk home.
She texts me “Im sorry”
Sweet. Fucking. Victory.
To the guys who responded; thanks for being there for me. I’m just going to nonchalantly respond tomorrow as if nothing was wrong.
Game… is beautiful.
Shark, reading this post made me think one thing:
I am in a relationship, I want to have a threesome with my gf and some hot girl. She knows that I get a boner everytime I see this girl. She gets turned on by me wanting to bang other girls. Yet it is obvious that she doesn’t OVERTLY want that I bang other girls.
Following the logic on this post, if I am seen as an alpha by my gf and peers, then IF I asked my gf to organize a 3some with this other girl, then I should succeed.
I’m pretty sure that she will shit test my frame by saying BS like: “Then you should let me bang some big black dick as return!”, and honestly, I know that I would feel a little burning but I’m sure that I will keep my frame and answer in witty ways. Anyway, could you give me some advice on HOW could I handle this situation?
By reading your blog I learned a lot, mostly that “as you think, you shall become”, and if before I would have been sure that this situation wouldn’t have been real, I KNOW NOW, that IT COULD HAPPEN, and I’d like it to happen. On the other hand I’d like to avoid too much bullshit that may come from my gf as a consequence. Will she start shit-testing harder if this happens? Could I handle all the reinforced shit-testing?
The shit tests will only increase if she becomes resentful. Which is more likely to happen if:
(a) The threesome is with a friend she’s close to.
(b) You cum inside of the other girl
(a) isn’t that big of a deal, it can be flipped to become beneficial by increasing secksual tension. (b) would be a soul-kill, but the after-effect would be fun to watch.
Her getting turned on by you wanting to bang other girls is not a unique quality, it is true for every girl. Every woman loves the challenge of having to work to keep her boyfriend to herself, and despises the possibility that no other girl may like her boyfriend and that he is with her more out of desperation than interest.
A menage a trios is not the only thing you can make possible by believing in it. The possibilities in life are boundless once you are able to conceive the “impossible.”
Great work! Half way though reading The Black Flag. Quick question, is out wrong to ask a woman out to be your gf?
All my exes from my past asked me out to become exclusive, however I know of a few guys who have done the asking part and seemed to be doing good with their girlfriends. I figured it would kill the chase if you make the move on them. Had an ex get with a really nice guy who asked her out. After a LTR 4 year relationship ended I moved on with a new woman and then when the ex wanted to work things out with me she tried making me jealous by telling me this guy might ask her to be his gf and I told her go for him his a nice guy (i knew the guy). She said no she wanted me and only me, but as time past and I resisted giving her another chance she is now going out with this guy and have been for about 6 months now. I have a feeling she has not moved on from me heating about her actions from her friends. Is it beta ask them to make it official?
This may help:
Another thing to ask you shark… she says she doesnt contact me alot because she feels like since she is the girl that I have to do the contact and arrange the dates (she comes from a hispanic background where they have those kind if believes).. so what she sayin is true, that she dont contact me because of that or is it really because her attraction level isnt high enough (she mention somethin about becoming exclusive with me )…sorry for being such a pain shark.
You cannot, ever, let operative social conventions dictate the workings of your relationship. It sets bad precedent. It is not a result of low attraction. Remember that even if a girl is highly interested in you, she always wants to turn you into a beta orbiter because she’s compelled to monopolize your attention. It is a paradox that has always governed female secksuality. By virtue of wanting to extract as much utility from you as possible, a girl loses attraction for you because if you indeed do what she wants (be the more dependent person and focus on rapport), then you lose the aspects of challenge and dread.
Your mistake is in assuming that this is a result of having a “hispanic” background. The world itself, the Matrix, functions in accord with the female imperative. Husbands are depicted as bumbling twats dependent on their wives, rich men are depicted as unhappy because they sacrificed love for material wealth, love stories depict the “ideal” lover as someone who pedestalizes their partner, men are always encouraged to be saviors and providers, soul-mate myths permeate society to encourage Oneitis, etc. If you stay complicit with a girl’s need to betatize you by believing “she’s different,” and it’s because she holds certain values, you have been hoodwinked like millions of other men. You are still plugged in to the popular sensation that mythologizes the female-male dynamic. It is not “Man does whatever women asks because that’s what society says is right,” it’s “Man fucks woman because that’s how the world has always worked.”
If she is mentioning exclusivity, I doubt her attraction level is low unless she’s baiting you with intimacy; you’ll have to judge for yourself. Either ways, don’t fall for this “you set up all the dates” fiasco. This is the same as a girl saying “I’m not easy, you’ll have to work for it” or “I’m not that type of girl.” Talk to other girls, be a little less keen on setting up dates, and watch the farce fragment away. Adhere to a favorable ratio, she should always be the person who initiates more dates and conversations than you do.
Well tell me this, what consists of a good conversation with a female, like what are good topics to talk about, or better yet what intrigues them. Like what would you say was a good conversation after a good pick while gaming?
I appreciate you responding, I’ll check both of them out as well as The Black Flag.
The key to choosing the best topics of conversation is to listen carefully, albeit in a way that makes it look like you’re doing anything but. Read her carefully, figure out the things that interest her, and what she’d want to talk about.
Have you discussed the correct approach when dealing with / taming a GF that’s a real bitch? This is not a girl who just bitches once in a while, but one who is generally considered to be a bitch by friends, family, coworkers. Of course she is more compliant with me, but she will often bitch about me not giving her enough attention, etc. If she gets too bitchy/disrespectful, I’ll give her no-contact for a day or so, but that only seems to infuriate her more.
Does the idiom that “you can’t treat old dogs new tricks” apply to the bitches as well?
Yes, never assume you can change a girl. If she’s bitchy or border line crazy, best to avoid her and find someone who is not. The most you will accomplish it to have her tone it down temporarily by adding dashes of competitive anxiety or proper no-contact, but you will never be able to “change” her. Worse yet, if you DO manage to temporarily tranquilize her, you will likely convince yourself that she’s changed, only to have the assumption bite you in the ass in the future.
If she is resentful or more infuriated after short periods of no-contact, the idea that being “more of a bitch” will solve her problems is too cemented within her perception of social dynamics. She believes that an over aggressive output is always the solution to lacking power or control. If in the past, you have fed this assumption by giving her more attention when she’s bitchy (either through overtly communicated no-contact, supplicating, or fighting); you have only strengthened her cause.
or start with madness and read house of leaves.
or go with a classic like don quixote.
or begin where I did in 9th grade with Dante.
or translate Goethe on your own.
or start where many many many literary fuck’s do with Ham on Rye or Pulp.
what augusten burroughs would you recommend? I’ve been snooping around his stuff for a while but never have dove in.
Shark I know this has been covered but your advice is always sound. My 4 year ltr ended close to 6 months ago due to some horrendous backsliding/supplication (it sickens me just thinking about it). I handled the breakup like a champ, the heavy weight of loss was great but in spite of this I commited myself wholeheartedly to my endeavours, I started lifting, got back into swimming (former (former national rep), boxing and manly pursuits. My job has gone from strength to strength and I’ve cleared all my debt and started working on business ideas for the long term. In this time I’ve also built up a nice little harem and don’t find myself wanting sexually. In short I’ve become an alpha boss and I love it.
Contact with my ex has been limited — we had some shared property and I basically just gave her money for it and left it at that. Contact outside of this has always been initiated by her and initially aS quite curt comments like “it appears the person I knew has left the building” and “I find it hard to see how much you’ve changed” spring to mind. She has been creeping on my friends Facebook photos obviously has seen me with the honeys, sailing and looking buff and fly..
Anyway since mid April she has been far friendlier and more open offering info about her university studies and how her family is (unprompted). So a couple of days ago she messages me thanking me for some money I gave her for some flights we took a week before we broke up and mentions she’d really like to catch up when the semester is over (approximately a month away). My question is this should I bother? I do still care about her she is the only girl I can say I truly loved but I feel like this is a trap to friendzone me and my newly found redpill lifestyle/persona will not stand for it. I really don’t think there is another guy on the scene if there was he has big boots to fill. Do I ruthlessly game her and insert her into the harem? Do I pump and dump her? Do I start dating her again from a massively dominant position. Or do I just keep flaking till she gets the message.
Read my response to the first comment on this post
If you believe you still have feelings for your ex and there is a chance you might revert back to habits of Oneitis, avoid her. I suspect this is true just by your concession that she is the only girl you “truly loved.” It is a dangerous path to tread. Never be so confident in the red pill that you carelessly take a bottle of blue pills afterwards. Men conquer worlds, women conquer men. There are a countless number of ways that this could backfire. Imagine that you pump and dump her – do you think you wouldn’t feel any guilt for doing it to the only girl you are convinced that you have ever loved? And if you do feel guilt afterwards, where would that take you? Even if you’ve gone through months of working on yourself, never underestimate the power “love” can have on you. It is a powerful, parasitic, intoxicating, and overwhelming feeling. You may have escaped the rope attached to its noose; but that rope is always so very short. The depth of one’s enlightenment may relieve one of its effects, but it never lengthens the rope itself. And every man who believes it has, has been properly yanked out of his illumination and taught otherwise.
On the other hand, if you have an ex that you are no longer psychologically dependent on to any extent, you are free to pursue her in any way you wish. As friends, for a relationship, as a scandal, whatever the both of you agree to. So long as no extra effort is required to overcome any potential baggage, I see no reason to avoid it.
I am moving back home from a college town for a variety of reasons. I am looking forward to kind of taking it easy as far as my partying and lifestyle go, but I am not sure how to deal with the fact that there isn’t a college too close to me that has a bunch of girls. Where do you think are some of the best places to meet girls ages 20-24 in a non-college town. I’m trying to rework my game to give me the option for opening more sets, but i cant seem to find too many girls around these parts.
You’ll have to viscously pursue day/night game. From cafes, bookstores, and public places to clubs and bars. Expand your social circle so you’re exposed to more opportunities to meet people.
First, i’ve just read the Black Flag…BEST BOOK EVER IN TERMS OF SOCIAL
DYNAMICS AND GAME! CONGRATS MY MASTER!
I’ll like your view on something, Here it goes:
I made my masters studies in Europe in 2008 (BTW Im from central America) There i met a gourgeous Mexican Girl which whom i inmediately made a connection with and we both felt for each other. we move in together and everything was perfect.At the time i’ve already had some LTR in the past but neither one of them compared to this relationship with her. She was the most gorgeous HB9, intelligent, charismatic, self secure, funniest and spiritual girl i’ve ever met.
So everything went well like a fairytale during that year, i managed to be alpha and she admired me as a man, etc. The time came when we had to return to our countries, so we did. I went to visit her to Mexico on summer 2009 with the intention of getting engaged there and with a ring in my pocket, so i did, we got engaged, her parents accepted and everything was going great.
So here comes the downwards part of the rolleroaster ride, we stayed in LTR until i could get a decent job here in my country (i own my own company now), and everything started
to decline since i couldn’t be with her personally, LDR SUCK! only skype and email communication and even though i got into the stupid idea that it could work , i could’t be more wrong, Well on christmas 2009 she broke our compromise and left me argumenting distance (I knew later she was hanging out with another man), i never spoke to her again and never let her seek for validation, she did once email me 3 months after the breakup but i just responded cold. Inside i felt devastated so started to look on ways to move on. After that i became more alpha. more confident and more spiritual and self secure, got a wonderful job and found my own company later and slept with many girls, including models and beautiful babes here. BUT every single relationship casual or Long term was eclipsed at her memory, she certainly was the best and continue being until today and i don’t know if that’s pedestalizing but i really don’t care that much. She got married to the guy 6 months after our break up.
Here comes the other part of my story. Recently in one of my business trips to europe i started feeling nostalgia towards her (not that i don’t have a GF or plenty of girls cause i do) so i emailed her for the first time in 3 years: ‘hey sup’? how u doing been a long time” she wrote me back and started talking again via email. She told me that she remembered me a lot, that she missed me that leaving me was the worst amd most difficult thing ever, she told me about how much she missed me and that leaving me was the most torn decision she had to take, and we spoke again in the phone and it was actually as if time never elapsed and we never separated. Our chemistry is out of this world in every aspect so we starting comunicatng again (she’s still married BTW) So i came and told her: ‘Would u accept a coffee? she responded: ‘Do u want to come here just to see me?’ i responded: Just for a few hours and at the next day i’ll leave. She told me that would be great and that seeing me again would be awesome and told me she couldn’t even speak from the excitement of the idea. It’s been 3 years already and my life had been great after overcoming that break up, ok shark you’ll probably ask, why im the world are u going to mexico just to see her? well, i don’t really know and i don’t know what’s gonna happen but i will love to see her again. I will like to see if she still have feelings when she see me and if i have an opportunity with her long term not now would be a great thing (in case her marriage falls apart and that’s just what is happening, hence her willing to see me again) i didn’t expect this i just emailed her out of nowhere but..well…I think i torn her in some way i really don’t know. Yesterday she wrote me and asked what was that thing so important that i have to tell her in person and told me she can’t wait to see me.
Me, i’m just relaxed waiting to see what happens, i’m really detached and non caring about this situation but curious at the same time of what will or could happen in this reunion. I don’t deny it will be great if i could own her mind again but i really don’t care if she leaves her husband cause of me (she told me she had a moral issue ’bout seeing me because of what could happen or what she can feel, i never insinuated anything more than coffee actually, she did) that and she feels something bad could happen so, my questions for u shark are:
How do u think she will react when she sees me and what do u think it would happen considering she’s married? and what would be the correct approach with her in order to fuck her mind (and fuck her phisically too) and affect her indirectly but positively towards me? Does she has some kind of feelings still? Should i even go to see her in the first place?
Thanks for your help and your awesome blog and writing, it has inspired me in so many ways and ignore my comment and questions if u consider them too much of a waste of time or too long, i really don’t give a fuck ’bout this situation but your impresion on it will be more than great and welcome.
Thanks FOR EVERYTHING MY MASTER!
DO NOT fuck her unless you’re sure her husband is a pacifist. If you’re not, then give her a fake address if she asks where you live. In regards to other people’s wives and girlfriends, if you get caught, there is a small yet legitimate chance that he may try and kill you (There is not a touch of sarcasm in that statement). Take all the necessary steps to avoid potentially being hunted down.
This is all Oneitis in full blast. You have never loved another girl as much as her because you have never let yourself let go of her. It is also possible, and highly probable, that through a series of cognitive rationalizations, you’ve actually convinced yourself you’ve never loved anyone as much as her VERY RECENTLY but your mind believes it has always been like that. She left you for another man which has damaged your ego in an almost irreconcilable way and you now subconsciously hunger to fuck her while she’s married to the same man that tore your relationship apart.
Her lamentations about missing you and having a hard time breaking up with you are all ungrounded. They are true insofar as she currently feels that way due to emotional spikes, but they are not true in the way she is making them out to be. She married the new guy too quickly. Her hypergamous nature kicked in, and now she wants to cuckold him for you. She hasn’t “retained” her old feelings, she just remembers the way you used to make her hamster spin more clearly now that her husband doesn’t make her hamster spin any longer.
On the other hand, this will be an easy lay. If you want the honest true, I’d probably do the same thing you are doing just to get it out of my system. But afterwards, cleanse yourself.
A bit of a social dynamics problem i guess, but affects my game but sure you can help me here as you seem to have it figured.
I started uni in september, I am older than all the people i live with. At first we all got on really well. I live with bitchy girls, a gay guy, a big gob mother hen and a disabled guy.
Anyways, we all got on really well, were partying a lot, the gay guy would touch me when i was drunk and I quickly made it apparent that he was not aloud to touch me inappropriately (eg grabbed my private parts). Where as the other guy I live with is camp and happy for this to happen.
Around Christmas I distanced myself from them a bit as I had deadlines to meet, and they noticed and started bitching about me to the point where when I tried to interact they would DHV, and not include me in things. I also found at the start I would wash up, cook things etc… and they would take advantage, but I felt as though they were like kids and stopped being taken advantage of as it felt as though they were all after something for nothing. Bad on my part but I had been working with nice people previous to this and we would always share everything.
Anyways, after I went away for a few weeks as soon as I get back they act all nice, and it takes about a day until they slip back into their habits. The alpha bitch tries to disqualify me from everything, it’s only ever good if it suits her or if shes getting her own way. I was wondering what the best way to turn this around could be? I keep distant from them but every time I go in the communal area I get abuse or childish remarks trying to D me as lower value. When my friends are all there they can’t touch me because I have a lot more friends than them.
I have found it better since finding this site as I now know she throws ALOT of shit tests at me, but im not always fast enough to respond to these and she makes me feel really awkward around them because she knows that she holds the floor.
Anyway to the point with girls. When I got back, my friend had her friend staying over, HB9, and she was attracted to me, and the first night we flirted, and had she not gone to a different club I would have probs ended up with her (even though I ended up withanother girl, I still wanted her). The next day, in the flat it goes back to usual, the alpha bitch bitches about me etc… and its as though im not cool enough to talk to. So I notice he next day this HB9 doesn’t want to talk to me otherwise she will get abuse off the alpha bitch.
I feel as though by becoming aloof I have let this happen and grown far apart from them. They are bitchy girls and get jealous. They don’t have lives, they just sit on fb all day and gossip. I read before about being alpha is about adapting to your environment, however, I cannot adapt to them in the way of becoming how they are.
What would you suggest in trying to turn this situation around so they respect me as a group?
Never, ever, ever, move in with a group of “mean girls.” The presence of a gay guy makes it even worse. There is no way to “turn-around” the situation you are in, it will only breed envy. You got too close in the past which has already embedded certain assumptions about you within their paradigms. You need to move out.
Great post as always! Reminds me of my economy classes.
Now I hope you can give me some feedback on something that I’ve been struggling with for quite a while now. I’ve know Game for a very long time (give or take 2 years, I’m currently 19) and have read/listened/watched virtually everything that is out there. Because of this I have a great theoretical understanding of what I should be doing. Theoretical, because applying I haven’t been applying this knowledge all that much. Sure I’ve made more progress in my life and with girls with game than I would have without it. But I’m not consistently doing the things I should be doing like approaching, pushing the few interactions I have.
I go out almost every week or so and each and every single time I psych myself up over the course of the week and when the night is finally there, I just stand there crippled by anxiety, not able to move and making every possible excuse in my head. Even if I get into the occasional conversation (by accident), I’m too scared to push things further and let the conversation slip.
My problem is therefore I think, that I think too much. Alcohol is not an option for me, as I don’t want to rely on any substance for my successes. I really need some cold hard advice/wake-up call/something to snap me out of this bullshit. It’s driving me crazy to be honest! I can’t seem to push myself in situations involving women. At least not like I am able to do in other aspects of my life such as health, fitness and education.
I really hope that you’re able to read this and I would be honored with a response.
All the best,
There is nothing anyone can do, short of holding you at gunpoint, that will force you to overcome your approach anxiety. It’s a quantum leap, you must traverse the gap through pure force of will.
My best advice would be, take it in steps. By having a heavy theoretically based grasp of game, you are likely seeing everything from the perspective of a Pick-Up-Artist rather than a regular down to earth guy. So when you think of approaching a girl, you think:
“I need to open. Attraction phase 1. Attraction phase 2. Comfort phase 1″ etc. All you really need to think is:
“Nuke her with my dick. Leh go.”
To simplify it, don’t make your goal “to approach.” Your goal the next time you go out your goal should be “talk to 10 people.” Not necessarily people you are interested in, or even girls for that matter. Just people. Your mind is currently thinking, “you win if you close someone,” when it should really be thinking “you win if you’re enjoying yourself.”
Further reading: Approaching
Hey Shark. I was wondering what would make a girl get tired of being with an Alpha male. All the shit tests I would laugh at or give smartass responses and when he was looking for attention by flirting with other guys when we were out together, I didnt give a shit and would throw it back in her face by doing the same thing. She was always trying to get me to skip school or work to hang out with her and I would never do it. I am driven to get my degree and to make money. I would tell her that I had to work to support her and because I was thinking about our future together, but I guess she was more interested in the present as opposed to later in life. We were together for 2.5 years, both of us being in our early 20′s. I personally think she just got bored because we were together for a while, and she just wanted something different cuz she was young and dumb, but what are your opinions?
Alpha alone is not enough. You can be dominant, aloof, and a good provider; but remember this always: girls are interested in guys they have fun with. It is a fundamental forgotten too often. Even if you were working on other projects, did other GIRLS like you? Was there secksual tension? Were you taking her out to new places? Were you reinventing your personality? Were you fucking her in new ways? She got bored out of a combination of a lack of time spent with you (zen balance is key, avoid both too much AND too little attention), and a shortage in emotional excitement. You must remember to always maintain an electric passion in every relationship.