Relationship Dystopia

On May 5, 2012 by Shark

Conventional wisdom dictates that a girl shit testing you is always a tryst between you and her subconscious; I e, that she secretly wants you to pass and her hurdles are only crude ways to assess your ability to maintain state control under pressure. But shit testing in a relationship does not have a one-dimensional purpose the way it does in a bar engagement. For an executive summary:


(a) A girl shit tests a guy she thinks is a beta: To keep him in a qualifying mode of operandi, preserving her frame and keeping him as a beta orbiter to extract attention as needed.

(b) A girl shit tests a guy she thinks might be an Alpha: To gauge his congruency; check if he falls in line with all her attraction cues.

(c) A girl shit tests her boyfriend: To both gauge his Alphaness AND try to gain hand. A combination of both (a) and (b).


In light of relationship discussions, we’ve always held that this paradox was true as a matter of fact. Women want to turn their boyfriends and husbands into beta hubbies even though this process is ultimately self-defeating in terms of a stable relationship. And most of relationship game, on the side of the guy, is about dodging this mechanic by eluding shit tests while maintaining a desirable balance between attraction/rapport, security/dread, secksual tension/comfort, ecksetera. As time passes, a guy will beta-backslide more often lest he catches himself at opportune moments to reinvigorate attraction and become consciously aware of his sloping power. Otherwise, he continues to spiral down as she actively draws more and more beta blood. She initiates more jealousy shit tests, aggravates him more frequently, and embarrasses him in public with more zeal.

From a Darwinian perspective, monogamous relationships make no more sense for a woman than a man. Genetic variability requires not only for men with high reproductive value to fuck as many women as possible, but for women to fuck as many VIABLE partners as possible. A compulsion that allowed women to betatize their partners would encourage them to find a NEW Alpha whenever possible, falling in accord with the above principle.

Anyone familiar with the misandry bubble will recall that this spiel sounds very familiar. Female self-sufficiency combined with secksual liberalization and a culturally reinforced feminine imperative now allows women to indulge in this very exact system with a twist. Women can ride the Alpha carousel through out their peak years and settle for a beta provider post-coyote. The twist comes with the addition of contraceptives and blurs the obvious result of all this. Take condoms out of the equation, and you have a full manifestation of the hypergamous dystopia we’re currently in. Girl fucks 5 or 6 Alphas throughout her peak years. Ends up with 5 or 6 kids — all born from different Alphas, maximizing both reproductive value and genetic variability. Then settles for a beta provider for security; someone who would willingly get cuckolded out of a white-knight complex.

So, to the point, what does all this have to do with your relationship? If women are acutely aware of fluctuations in social dynamics, ESPECIALLY in their peak years, it means your status, not just your game, needs to be moving up on a fairly rapid scale. Even staying at a high point yet stagnant wouldn’t be enough; as hypergamy demands a girl get bored of her partner to encourage her to pusue something higher or at least different. Change must always be introduced, whether in the form of emotional turbulence, game induced complexes, or wealth and power. Hypothetically, you would only be able to “slack off” AFTER a girl has been removed from the secksual market; either through the wall or a lack of other opportunities.

And as we move towards an age where texting, networking, and online dating are allowing for the market to maximize surplus through over exposure to options, age will slowly become the ONLY equalizer. To explain further, take a look at this diagram (anyone with basic knowledge over economics will understand it better)


why should you text











Imagine women as consumers and men as producers. At equilibrium, producer surplus and consumer surplus are fairly equal. When you have trade liberalization, the price drops and consumer surplus increases. This is akin to secksual market liberalization, where women have access to more options. It lowers the “price” (tradeoff between women and men) because more men are forced to compete with each other, washing out a larger number of betas and allowing a smaller number of Alphas to dominate the entire market. For a simpler demonstration:

Imagine a society with 10 women, 10 guys. 8 are beta, 2 are Alpha males. With secksual market liberalization, the 2 Alphas may only be able to contact perhaps 6 women in total. They don’t have access to Facebook or texting; they can only game the women AROUND them. We assume hypothetically that each has only 3 women around them. Now we have 2 Alpha males, each getting 3 women. 4 women are left, which leaves only 4 lonely betas.

With “free trade,” Alphas are given more flexibility to game more women. They have access to ones they are partially disassociated from and are thus able to monopolize all 10, leaving 8 lonely betas instead of our previous 4. All 8 wash each other out until the women are done “consuming” Alphas and must seek out stability instead.

Of course this isn’t how it literally plays out, only a basic demonstration. In peak years, the market will be more similar to the above raw diagram. Variable factors like contraceptives and the economic thesis of the misandry bubble will affect it in unpredictable ways; but the point remains clear.


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22 Responses to “Relationship Dystopia”

  • Westside Daddy

    illuminating post.

    Shark, quick question. me and this one girl began as fuck buddies. Eventually feelings in both parties started growingWe began to kick it as if we were in a relationship. Basically it was an open relationship. I started beta backsliding (before i began to follow ur blog)…after that i could tell her attraction dropped. she went out of the country and fucked some other guy. that shit pissed me off but i guess I couldnt say nothing since we werent technically exclusive. I developed a Oneitis for her. I decided to distant my self from her when she came back but eventually she would come over my house to bang. But i continued on with my abundance mentality trying to forget about her also i began to improve my inner and external game (became more alpha). I guess she most of felt the anxiety of losing me and came back looking for me all the time (we work together so it was impossible not seeing her) but now that she came back she is really nice to me and even told me that she wants things to go back how it was before she left out of the country. She does alot of things that shows me she really likes me (sex,sex,sex,buys me stuff,worried about me) i quess this is due to my new “alpha ways”(being aloof,uncaring asshole)but anyways i dont know if im doing the right thing on getting back with her. Maybe my asshole ways grew her attraction in a big way. but do you think this could go on in a good path? my other question is that we are both too “proud” for example im dying to talk to her so i dont call or text her first (i wait till she contacts me)and she does the same thing. She waits for me to contact her first even though she wants to talk to me bad (everytime we talk she complains on how much i dont contact her this a shit test?) I feel like i lose HAND if im the one that contacts her all the time..i want her to contact me more but she says she dosent want me to get tired of her…is this a real reason or her attraction level is still down….Thanks for ur help in advance shark…thnks for giving me that red pill.

    • Westside Daddy

      Another thing to ask you shark… she says she doesnt contact me alot because she feels like since she is the girl that I have to do the contact and arrange the dates (she comes from a hispanic background where they have those kind if believes).. so what she sayin is true, that she dont contact me because of that or is it really because her attraction level isnt high enough (she mention somethin about becoming exclusive with me )…sorry for being such a pain shark.

  • Cody

    Hey Shark. I was wondering what would make a girl get tired of being with an Alpha male. All the shit tests I would laugh at or give smartass responses and when he was looking for attention by flirting with other guys when we were out together, I didnt give a shit and would throw it back in her face by doing the same thing. She was always trying to get me to skip school or work to hang out with her and I would never do it. I am driven to get my degree and to make money. I would tell her that I had to work to support her and because I was thinking about our future together, but I guess she was more interested in the present as opposed to later in life. We were together for 2.5 years, both of us being in our early 20′s. I personally think she just got bored because we were together for a while, and she just wanted something different cuz she was young and dumb, but what are your opinions?

    • Necorochi

      Second that, could you elaborate on this a little bit.

      Let me explain, not all the time but some times I can tell she get’s bored( Could careless), tho with certain females I can tell they get bored around me because I’m not doing any of the beta shit all the other guy’s are doing around me in class to entertain them. Just aloof as fuck and chill, which is how it should be BECAUSE if you don’t have ANYTHING to talk about don’t say ANYTHING at all correct? Better to say to few words then say more then you should.

      Well I understand that and I’m quite fine staying this way instead of putting myself in a self effacing beta way.

      My question is how do you make a BORING situation a FUN one.

      Don’t get me wrong, their are girls that I just click with and times when I’m just pumped and you can’t help but notice me and also CODY if your reading this I am not at all calling you boring, I’ll take the hit I’M BORING!

      Know I know that your probably thinking she is not the write type of girl for you just find another one FUCK I’m thinking the exact same thing and I LIVE by it, just when my perfect chemistry girl’s are not around how do YOU entice someone to ETHER take more interest in you or make it so were you can entertain a female….

      Wtf did you just say NECOROCHI? Entertain a girl?! Wtf is wrong with you , you cunt ass beta.
      I know what your thinking LOL let me explain.

      Their are super alpha’s that can turn any situation around and into anything they want , even if it’s boring as shit for them, they create up some bullshit that intrigues people even if it’s bullshit, real, or whatever. THEY CAN.
      Can’t is NOT in their vocabulary, they exercise anything at PURE WILL.

      I wan’t to emulate them, I just don’t have any Alpha’s like that around me to befriend, and I just don’t know were to start.

      *LIGHTBULB* Oh wait SHARK!

      I will keep saying to little if I don’t have anything to say if I have to…. I just wan’t to be able to say whatever ALL the time. & Now writing this has made me realize I should use more negs and teasing, but if you can see my point can you please point me in the write direction.

      Fuck email me if you must.

      P.S. Striving for perfection even tho nothing is perfect.

      • Tristan

        Here is a stone I’m going to hand you, that’s gonna kill both of the birds that cause you problems:
        READ A FUCKING BOOK. In fact, read several of them. That way you will be able to finally write in your mother’s tongue, AND be able to actually have something to talk about! To top it off, start with some of the wittiest contemporary authors – David Sedaris and Augusten Burroughs. Anything they ever wrote is funny and of substance, which should give you a frame of reference as far as tapping into a state of permanent wit. As a disclaimer – don’t get hangup on the fact that both aforementioned authors are gay. Trust me, it doesn’t make an iota of difference.

        • Tristan

          *hung up

          • M


            or start with madness and read house of leaves.

            or go with a classic like don quixote.

            or begin where I did in 9th grade with Dante.

            or translate Goethe on your own.

            or start where many many many literary fuck’s do with Ham on Rye or Pulp.

            what augusten burroughs would you recommend? I’ve been snooping around his stuff for a while but never have dove in.

          • Servvante

            Well tell me this, what consists of a good conversation with a female, like what are good topics to talk about, or better yet what intrigues them. Like what would you say was a good conversation after a good pick while gaming?

            I appreciate you responding, I’ll check both of them out as well as The Black Flag.

          • Servvante

            To add^^ Kinda sounds like I don’t talk to females the way that sounded after rereading. Farther from the truth.
            Don’t get me wrong, I talk well to females, especially with girls that have interest, I guess now that I put it that way It brings me to another question; how do you get the interest of uninterested females? & I’m not even ugly I’m at least an 8, I’v considered doing direct game after reading ” Do looks matter to girls”

            I would say I have an excellent frame and I’m good at being aloof, but when the only good looking girls are Diva’s and have that mindset of you coming to them because of all the beta’s at my school swarming them with attention. How would you get their attention/interest when beta’a are constantly giving it to them.

            Also how would you escalate/make-out between class’s with girls at school if you can’t close because you don’t have a cell phone. It feels like all the help I try to get revolves around closing with a cell phone. What if you don’t have a cell phone(Waiting in the mail) and you also don’t have a Facebook (Better things to do like studying). How would you close/escalate so you can possibly make-out during lunchtime.
            Appreciate your time.

  • Dane

    Shark, I’ve noticed my dad sliding more and more into beta-behavioural patterns, especially towards my mother. She’s losing respect for him and I have to say, to an extent, so am I. This stems from him struggling financially lately and my mother running the highest calibre of illogical shit-tests.

    I’m only 20, how do I connect with my father on a man-to-man basis and inspire him to grow a pair? He used to run this family with an iron fist.

  • Chris H

    I think it’s about time to reread your articles again, it’s not that I don’t know these things you just forget stupid little things that can make a hell of a difference.

  • Servvante

    I reached another level of let go.
    At first when I first thought I let go I did but didn’t, their are multiple levels to letting go.
    Now that I think about it is their higher levels of letting go? Hmm

  • John


    Great post as always! Reminds me of my economy classes.

    Now I hope you can give me some feedback on something that I’ve been struggling with for quite a while now. I’ve know Game for a very long time (give or take 2 years, I’m currently 19) and have read/listened/watched virtually everything that is out there. Because of this I have a great theoretical understanding of what I should be doing. Theoretical, because applying I haven’t been applying this knowledge all that much. Sure I’ve made more progress in my life and with girls with game than I would have without it. But I’m not consistently doing the things I should be doing like approaching, pushing the few interactions I have.

    I go out almost every week or so and each and every single time I psych myself up over the course of the week and when the night is finally there, I just stand there crippled by anxiety, not able to move and making every possible excuse in my head. Even if I get into the occasional conversation (by accident), I’m too scared to push things further and let the conversation slip.

    My problem is therefore I think, that I think too much. Alcohol is not an option for me, as I don’t want to rely on any substance for my successes. I really need some cold hard advice/wake-up call/something to snap me out of this bullshit. It’s driving me crazy to be honest! I can’t seem to push myself in situations involving women. At least not like I am able to do in other aspects of my life such as health, fitness and education.

    I really hope that you’re able to read this and I would be honored with a response.

    All the best,


  • Matt

    A bit of a social dynamics problem i guess, but affects my game but sure you can help me here as you seem to have it figured.

    I started uni in september, I am older than all the people i live with. At first we all got on really well. I live with bitchy girls, a gay guy, a big gob mother hen and a disabled guy.

    Anyways, we all got on really well, were partying a lot, the gay guy would touch me when i was drunk and I quickly made it apparent that he was not aloud to touch me inappropriately (eg grabbed my private parts). Where as the other guy I live with is camp and happy for this to happen.

    Around Christmas I distanced myself from them a bit as I had deadlines to meet, and they noticed and started bitching about me to the point where when I tried to interact they would DHV, and not include me in things. I also found at the start I would wash up, cook things etc… and they would take advantage, but I felt as though they were like kids and stopped being taken advantage of as it felt as though they were all after something for nothing. Bad on my part but I had been working with nice people previous to this and we would always share everything.

    Anyways, after I went away for a few weeks as soon as I get back they act all nice, and it takes about a day until they slip back into their habits. The alpha bitch tries to disqualify me from everything, it’s only ever good if it suits her or if shes getting her own way. I was wondering what the best way to turn this around could be? I keep distant from them but every time I go in the communal area I get abuse or childish remarks trying to D me as lower value. When my friends are all there they can’t touch me because I have a lot more friends than them.

    I have found it better since finding this site as I now know she throws ALOT of shit tests at me, but im not always fast enough to respond to these and she makes me feel really awkward around them because she knows that she holds the floor.

    Anyway to the point with girls. When I got back, my friend had her friend staying over, HB9, and she was attracted to me, and the first night we flirted, and had she not gone to a different club I would have probs ended up with her (even though I ended up withanother girl, I still wanted her). The next day, in the flat it goes back to usual, the alpha bitch bitches about me etc… and its as though im not cool enough to talk to. So I notice he next day this HB9 doesn’t want to talk to me otherwise she will get abuse off the alpha bitch.

    I feel as though by becoming aloof I have let this happen and grown far apart from them. They are bitchy girls and get jealous. They don’t have lives, they just sit on fb all day and gossip. I read before about being alpha is about adapting to your environment, however, I cannot adapt to them in the way of becoming how they are.

    What would you suggest in trying to turn this situation around so they respect me as a group?

  • Horus

    Hi Shark

    First, i’ve just read the Black Flag…BEST BOOK EVER IN TERMS OF SOCIAL

    I’ll like your view on something, Here it goes:

    I made my masters studies in Europe in 2008 (BTW Im from central America) There i met a gourgeous Mexican Girl which whom i inmediately made a connection with and we both felt for each other. we move in together and everything was perfect.At the time i’ve already had some LTR in the past but neither one of them compared to this relationship with her. She was the most gorgeous HB9, intelligent, charismatic, self secure, funniest and spiritual girl i’ve ever met.

    So everything went well like a fairytale during that year, i managed to be alpha and she admired me as a man, etc. The time came when we had to return to our countries, so we did. I went to visit her to Mexico on summer 2009 with the intention of getting engaged there and with a ring in my pocket, so i did, we got engaged, her parents accepted and everything was going great.

    So here comes the downwards part of the rolleroaster ride, we stayed in LTR until i could get a decent job here in my country (i own my own company now), and everything started
    to decline since i couldn’t be with her personally, LDR SUCK! only skype and email communication and even though i got into the stupid idea that it could work , i could’t be more wrong, Well on christmas 2009 she broke our compromise and left me argumenting distance (I knew later she was hanging out with another man), i never spoke to her again and never let her seek for validation, she did once email me 3 months after the breakup but i just responded cold. Inside i felt devastated so started to look on ways to move on. After that i became more alpha. more confident and more spiritual and self secure, got a wonderful job and found my own company later and slept with many girls, including models and beautiful babes here. BUT every single relationship casual or Long term was eclipsed at her memory, she certainly was the best and continue being until today and i don’t know if that’s pedestalizing but i really don’t care that much. She got married to the guy 6 months after our break up.

    Here comes the other part of my story. Recently in one of my business trips to europe i started feeling nostalgia towards her (not that i don’t have a GF or plenty of girls cause i do) so i emailed her for the first time in 3 years: ‘hey sup’? how u doing been a long time” she wrote me back and started talking again via email. She told me that she remembered me a lot, that she missed me that leaving me was the worst amd most difficult thing ever, she told me about how much she missed me and that leaving me was the most torn decision she had to take, and we spoke again in the phone and it was actually as if time never elapsed and we never separated. Our chemistry is out of this world in every aspect so we starting comunicatng again (she’s still married BTW) So i came and told her: ‘Would u accept a coffee? she responded: ‘Do u want to come here just to see me?’ i responded: Just for a few hours and at the next day i’ll leave. She told me that would be great and that seeing me again would be awesome and told me she couldn’t even speak from the excitement of the idea. It’s been 3 years already and my life had been great after overcoming that break up, ok shark you’ll probably ask, why im the world are u going to mexico just to see her? well, i don’t really know and i don’t know what’s gonna happen but i will love to see her again. I will like to see if she still have feelings when she see me and if i have an opportunity with her long term not now would be a great thing (in case her marriage falls apart and that’s just what is happening, hence her willing to see me again) i didn’t expect this i just emailed her out of nowhere but..well…I think i torn her in some way i really don’t know. Yesterday she wrote me and asked what was that thing so important that i have to tell her in person and told me she can’t wait to see me.

    Me, i’m just relaxed waiting to see what happens, i’m really detached and non caring about this situation but curious at the same time of what will or could happen in this reunion. I don’t deny it will be great if i could own her mind again but i really don’t care if she leaves her husband cause of me (she told me she had a moral issue ’bout seeing me because of what could happen or what she can feel, i never insinuated anything more than coffee actually, she did) that and she feels something bad could happen so, my questions for u shark are:

    How do u think she will react when she sees me and what do u think it would happen considering she’s married? and what would be the correct approach with her in order to fuck her mind (and fuck her phisically too) and affect her indirectly but positively towards me? Does she has some kind of feelings still? Should i even go to see her in the first place?

    Thanks for your help and your awesome blog and writing, it has inspired me in so many ways and ignore my comment and questions if u consider them too much of a waste of time or too long, i really don’t give a fuck ’bout this situation but your impresion on it will be more than great and welcome.


  • Ben


    I am moving back home from a college town for a variety of reasons. I am looking forward to kind of taking it easy as far as my partying and lifestyle go, but I am not sure how to deal with the fact that there isn’t a college too close to me that has a bunch of girls. Where do you think are some of the best places to meet girls ages 20-24 in a non-college town. I’m trying to rework my game to give me the option for opening more sets, but i cant seem to find too many girls around these parts.

  • nemesis

    Shark, I have one question. In one post you managed to describe that all alphas have in common one thing: power, that can be shown in unlimited forms (quote from you: “And that lazy fat Alpha who sits at home, drinks beer, and yells at his wife has power; via indifference (or in this case, the LACK of the power the world asserts over him).”

    I just wanted to say, can’t everything be reduced to the traditional concept of “respect”? And so he who is alpha is he who is respected, no matter how he gets respect, nobody would fuck with him and everybody would always consider his being.

  • Dan


    Have you discussed the correct approach when dealing with / taming a GF that’s a real bitch? This is not a girl who just bitches once in a while, but one who is generally considered to be a bitch by friends, family, coworkers. Of course she is more compliant with me, but she will often bitch about me not giving her enough attention, etc. If she gets too bitchy/disrespectful, I’ll give her no-contact for a day or so, but that only seems to infuriate her more.

    Does the idiom that “you can’t treat old dogs new tricks” apply to the bitches as well?

  • Matt


    Been with my girl for 3 years. In the past year or so, I’ve become super beta and a total AFC. Before my girl I had great game and banged a lot of hot chicks. In fact, amongst my female friends I got the nickname “manwhore”, which was fine with me because it just increased my value. I’m also a pretty good looking guy and my girl is probably an 8.

    Anyway, me being a manwhore is what attracted my girl to me to begin with. The first two years of dating was semi long distance. I was in LA and she was in San Diego. I really was the one who cared less. Her best friend is how we met and her best friend told her to stay away from me because I was a manwhore! This of course made her want me more and for the first two years It was amazing! I thought I struck gold.

    I would see her every two weeks or so and we would fuck 4-5 times in a day and then I’d go home. It was fucking perfect! No shit testing, she always missed me, her pussy would get dripping wet when I simply touched her, I could make her cum in seconds. The sex was awesome! Whips, handcuffs, anal, smacking, etc. Then I’d leave!

    I had a good life in LA an was always busy and had a bunch of shit always going on. All my best friends were there, I had a very full life. I was never concerned about her or jealous, etc. she constantlyissed me and sent texts and called all the time. She was the first to say I love you and I didn’t say it back for a long time. At one point I even told her she was too needy an to chill out. She always wanted to have more sex than me. We would have sex 5 times and she would beg for me to fuck her or lick her pussy again. I frequently told her no, I’m done and that I didn’t want to have sex as much as she- which was true! Hands down, I had the upper hand.

    Then…she said “I need more”, meaning she wanted to see me more. She wanted me to move to San Diego. She couldn’t move to LA because she has a daughter and the baby daddy is in San Diego. So, I moved. My, how things have changed.

    I didn’t know anyone in San Diego and had no friends so my life became her and I started getting jealous and acting out, buying her stuff, being way to sweet, reading her texts, her diary, complaining that she had to see the babies daddy and how that bothered me. A total AFC. Now the tables have turned. I get laid once a week if I’m lucky. She makes up all kinda of excuses, she’s tired, stressed out, blah blah blah, but I know the reason is because I’ve become an AFC. She’s lost interest.

    A couple of weeks ago I found your blog and it showed me the light! I’ve been reading it everyday and also your book. Amazing stuff. All the stuff I used to do but have forgotten. I let the pussy cloud my judgement.

    For the two weeks or so, I’ve totally stopped all my BS and have not been returning texts for hours on end, I’ve been going no contact for a day or two, talking to other chicks (I have a hot Asian chick texting me all the time and my girl is freaking out about it – which is great), so I’m creating competitive anxiety. I’ve been passing her shit tests, being aloof, negging her a bit, being hot and cold. She doesn’t know what to make of it. I’ve started hitting the gym and joined a martial arts studio. I’ve started making some friends again.

    Last week she asked me to lick her pussy and fuck her, so I thought things were working well. I did the deed, but since then nada! I’ve told her (not asked) to blow me 3 times this week and she refused. I didnt sulk, I just acted like it was no biggie and then withdrew attention. If she behaves I will do reward her, if not I will withdraw attention without getting mad or sulking. I’ve realized again that other chicks want to fuck me.

    Getting laid once a week is unacceptable to me. Im at a loss. I want to fuck her at least 3 times a week and if not I have to fuck someone else.

    I was thinking of asking how she felt about an open relationship. Obviously, this would be strictly a game play to get her worked up. She knows the Asian chick wants to fuck me. Do you think this could get exciting start dishing it out again?

    I was thinking of saying something like “hey baby, I love you, but I need to get laid more. I know you’re not feeling the same, so what are your thoughts on us having an open relationship? Im just looking for purely sexual satisfaction. We will still be together, i don’t want to be with anyone else – t’s strictly a physical thing. Obviously, you can do the same if you want”

    I was thinking this is an ultra alpha move because

    1. She knows there is someone else I could fuck immediately.

    2. I act like I don’t care if she does the same

    What are your thoughts on this as a way to run some game on her?

    I’m 36 and she’s 35 by the way.

  • Lowland

    Seems like you didn’t pay much attention to high school history class. Too busy chasing pussy, heh? Those 2 betas would be killed by the betas and the women would be shared among them. Such a complicated realization, I know.

  • Lowland

    I meant those 2 alpha males.

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