Return
Many have commented on the need for a “start-here” section; I will put something together in the near future.
The recent lack of posts was the result of a one week life-meditative-hiatus I undertook to get certain things in perspective, a practice I highly recommend all of you exercise when you deem it necessary; especially after major life transitions or when your mind feels cluttered from extraneous chatter. Normally it should only take a day or two, but the period can span for as long as needed.
Note, this is not the same thing as a vacation and confusing the two is the reason why most people never experience the former. A vacation takes you away from your worries, it only dislocates them; what I propose is the opposite. You are physically inactive, but your mind remains as efficacious as ever, diving into your thoughts as deeply as possible. It categorizes things into “shit that doesn’t matter” and “stuff that matters.” It distinguishes between “goals that get me closer to my original purpose” and “goals I’ve picked up on the way there that have nothing to do with what I ultimately want to accomplish.” It lets you know how you’re wasting your time or money, reminds you of the things that must be learned or have been forgotten, and warns you of the habits that you must relinquish.
After you come back from a vacation, you are theoretically as inefficient and unproductive as you were before, minus the energy you obtained from being physically rejuvenated. You come back, and everything is the same, just as you had left it. When you come out of a meditative hiatus, you are 10x as productive as you were before. Not in terms of how “hard” you’re working, but in terms of moving in the right direction and being able to triage your priorities. You may even work less, if you determine afterwards, “I am not spending enough time with my family,” or something of the sort. Your new-found clarity will grant you the ability to understand what you really want in life, to visualize your future, and to gauge your progress more accurately. For those of you who feel you are “over-analyzing” the world, or are torn between choices, I urge you to consider a brief stretch of self-reflection. If you are making a major decision, this will let you analyze your options in the style of Zen, rather than the crack-like state of paranoia you usually make decisions in.
In an aptly coincidental way, throughout the week I ran into moments that summarized all of my thoughts. While eating Chinese food with a friend, I opened a fortune cookie that said, “Happiness is to be content with little” while she opened one that said, “greatness is achieved through hard work.” Immediately, she said, “we switched cookies by accident, this one must be yours,” inducing a split second epiphany. To be content with little versus to be frustratingly pursuing a greater degree of accomplishment at all times because you are never content with what you have are simply two opposing views of the world. Both can be justified, and neither trumps the other from a Meta perspective. Which made me realize, this blog does not spread “truth” in a distilled fashion, in that regard, the way I thought it had. It spreads an opinion. It encourages people to see the world the way I see it, to seek out challenges, to develop, to always strive for more. If you agree with that view, you will benefit from most of what I have to say. But if you relate more to the school of thought encouraged by The Underachiever’s Manifesto, do not take my view to be “superior” than your own or better than any others. Simplicity is magnificent in its one way. The comments that quote “Shark, you say I do!” fail to grasp the fundamental purpose of this blog. Live and think the way you deem fit; not in a way dictated by anyone else.
I was reminded again of the pain of a break up. It seems that no matter how much mastery or experience is achieved in the process of learning Game, one always remains susceptible to the feeling of emptiness. But you learn not to let it overwhelm you. I no longer fear it; I admire it for being the greatest of humbling experiences.
Work has been a mess for the past 2 or 3 months because I have been working in a way that made me think I was working hard, when I really wasn’t. Made bad investments, had bad ideas; and they were all pursued with the idea that if I worked psychotically hard enough, everything could be turned around. Cutting all of my losses this past week has reminded me that to achieve beyond your dreams, you must combine audacity with practicality. One without the other always leads to failure. You either see too little and willingly jump into a pit, or you see too much and are never willing to jump at all.
And finally, just yesterday, I overheard a conversation about Game. After a few minutes, my name was dropped and I realized they were talking about THIS site and my own articles. How it helped them overcome their break ups and how one of them finally found a girlfriend he was happy with because he had learned to date through multiple women and screen for natural chemistry better. The other talked of how, although he still hasn’t had much success with women, it helped him overcome approach anxiety and how he now feels comfortable being himself. It was refreshing, to say the least, to see the fruits of my work play out before me in 3-D. I pondered for a moment about what it would be like if I introduced myself as their lord and savior; then grabbed my laptop and ran away.
Glad your back boss. Thought a feminist killed you.
Awesome! Vindicated at some cosmic level.
Shark, its good to see back. I’ve been a Reader/Lurker for the past couple Months. Your blog suits me well as I have become a fan of Philosophy, an Sociology as I’ve grown older in this world.
Anyway, I wanted to post until the storm of comments had died down an ask simply this: With all the Politics, Rules, an of course Game blogs that have seen a increase in numbers in these past couple of years I wanted to ask, Do you, not just as a Guru of some sorts but, as a person that, do you think that the “Genuine is dead?”
Maybe I’ve become too Immersed into My times of thoughts of life but, this question had popped up inside me. I feel like this world has become one big Video Game of sorts. To tie in with the “Matrix” word that pops up in Game blogs an of course the world that we do live in, do you believe that, “The real is dead?” or, as we continue on this path of Life with new ways of thinking. . . . .
Is this just the new “Real”….
And slowly answered Arthur from the barge:
“The old order changeth, yielding place to new,
And God fulfils himself in many ways,
Lest one good custom should corrupt the world.
Comfort thyself: what comfort is in me?”
– Alfred, Lord Tennyson
Still waiting for an email….
Shark!
I(30 yo) have a complicated situation that I hope you can help me resolve. First there are two women involved. C 29 yo.(HB 8) and L 28 yo.(HB 7). They were unaware of the other’s existence.
I met C in college 8 years ago. We hooked up for years, being “on again off again.” I met L about 2.5 years ago. I started an LTR with L about 2 years ago. But C again started talking to me. I got greedy and started talking to C again. C went off to Alaska for work so in those two years with L I never once physically cheated with C. I wrote C emails, sent pixxx, all the fun stuff. I do all the LTR stuff with L but also have some C on the side. Life was good.
Two months ago my relationship with L hit the rocks because of major beta backsliding, indecisiveness, and “shadiness.” Work and school were getting to me and I thought the right thing to do was “open myself up” and excrete all my insecurities. She broke up with me and I went no contact. This breakup is what led me to SMGP. I picked my life up and started refining any natural game I had while hooking up with C. L invited me to pick up some clothing about a month after the break. I went over, maintained my frame, kept my cool, showed her that I was the PRIZE! She admitted she was having a very hard time with the break up. She also said I looked “lighter and unburdened.” She was seeing the positive changes in posture, bearing, and speech thanks to my time at the SMGP. We said bye and I left feeling good about myself.
Meanwhile C is humming along. Mine and C’s birthdays are one day apart so we planned to go on vacation for a week. L calls two days before the start of the vacation and says she’s been thinking about me and that we should meet up and talk. I agreed to talking to her after the vacation.
Vacation goes well. C and I drive to C’s place after the vacation. I planned on spending the entire night there but I am shoved awake at 2am. C explained she called the sender of a suspicious text (L) and set in motion the collision of my two worlds. I kept both of them in the dark for two years about each other and both were pissed. B kicked me out at 2:30am. ***my phone was password protected***
I haven’t spoken to C since that night. L called that morning and explained C told her everything, forwarded emails I wrote to C, sent pixxx. L said she didn’t even know who I was. I asked L to come over later that day for more talk. She obliged and I said I did it to “see who I really wanted.” I apologized for trying to see who I really wanted in an incorrect way but not for wanting to know if L or C was better.L also said it felt like C got all the romance and L just got the friendship.
I also told L that we didn’t have an honest chance because of C and I’d like another one. I know, I gave her too much ego massaging but I couldn’t resist. She said no and told me not to contact her. I texted “come over” later that night. Nothing happened and no contact has been on for 9 days.
I’m finally done with C.
I have several questions:
1. Did my secret philandering ways shift L’s view of me from beta to alpha? Like she sees me as a “stealth-alpha”? Two years I kept the hamsters turning for those two women.
2. What do I do now? “Grand gesture” involving flowers for L? She is on my mind. It’s not Oneitis exactly because I also feel that I want to win. I want her to admit she wants me despite all the shit I pulled. I want to win. I feel game rules are thrown out when the dude cheats. The girl needs some beta behavior.
3. Do I apologize to L for being selfish?
4. When and how do I break no contact if L doesn’t contact me?
5. How do I become a good human being?
Thanks for your thoughts.
man i was thinking the other day that a day will come u will show urself, we’ll come visit u have some beers n go out n sarge all of us oh man that be g8, btw ya it was me ” u say i do ” but i needed professional advise since my mind was too fucked up trying to remember the smell of my exes vagina, and the demooralising advice from afc friends was just not cutting it, so i needed ur medicine n im glad i did. thanx a lot bro now show ur face
Shark, Wish you all the best in your endeavours. You will get better and wiser and so will circumstances. May you be in the flow and may you be with the flow. May the force be with you.
Gay.
I’m glad you posted this. You seem much more human.
Can you point me to some literature on business/ entrepreneurship? So much of it seems like the equivalent of self-help books, just re-hashed psycho-babble bullshit that is not helpful in the slightest.
Or simply, where, if one is to start a business, does one begin? Or, how, and where did you begin with your business endeavors?
Understand if you don’t respond, you have so many people asking you for help now, it’s quite astonishing. The honesty & such.
Recently, I’ve been reading your blog. But, I’ve enly countered a problem.
When I’m trying to act Alpha, my friends they still think of me as a beta.
It’s very confusing to describe, but that sums it up. So, how would one transition from an ultimate beta to an alpha?
what i had to do was get whole new sets of friends; my old set of friends just couldnt accept my gradual personality transformations and just kept weighing me down in many regards. sadly it took me a very long time to realize this and get the balls to really start not seeing them as much, but once i did it everything was great. needless to say my old friends right now are confused and/or envious about my new self, and every time i do hang out with them, they adore me (which is repulsive) and treat me as if i were to die the next day
Btw. I have a good topic for you to cover.
I spend a lot of time in the gym and something I’ve noticed is women in the gym seem to have there strongest beta guard up. How would you approach 9s and 10s? One thought I had was to share a girl machine with them and wait for them to notice your just toying with them.
You have an incredible intuition of when weve become too accustomed to coming here for daily advice instead of going out and applying what it taught us
It’s different seeing the Matrix now. Yesterday a girl HB8 came by my work to visit. She was just back from a trip to California and wanted to “check-in”. A couple of years ago I would have been excited, but being on a night shift I was just annoyed. I know she’s interested now because she’s engaging me and “she’s trying to find a way to fuck me”. She told me how one of her beta-orbiters doesn’t “like how much I talk about you”, I laughed to myself thinking “beta-orbiter/emotional tampon threatened by alpha whose dick swings way wider…” I realized I was being both aloof and uninterested in the entire conversation. The girl added, “he doesn’t get why I laugh when you talk to me the way you do and get mad at him when he tries to talk the same way…” That’s when it hit me like a thunderbolt…..and I gave an honest, mysterious, and enigmatic smile to her that immediately conveyed back to her that “I get why….and so do you!!” I could actually hear her vagina tingling.
She then asked me to take her for a walk in the rain and because she was both coy and demure about HOW she asked me I CHOSE to oblige her. The feeling was electric and I could hear the vagina tingling getting louder. I was aloof and charming and could FEEL her frustration grow. When she left she hugged me like never before. Mission complete, I thought until….2 hours later the following text arrives..
“You should come visit me when she’s not home. Or we could be sneaky… I think I’m pretty good at that!” My smile could have had its own zip code at this point and I’m laughing inside realizing my prowess is becoming ingrained and instinctual instead of concious decision-making.
Shark I’m unplugged. And I’m free now. Thank-you.
The bitchez got cold on me from lacking in rapport and they feel kinda played. How do I reopen them where they feel comfortable and with me touching them as well. Attraction is threw the roof btw. I feel like that makes this harder since the ratio is so off.
Glad you’re back bud.
shark, you are a piscean. you sounds like one and i have no wonder why they say that pisces are one of the most advanced signs of this planet.
i am the one myself, and you are a mentor for me.
A kick ass post. This is the kind of shit that helps more and is more valuable than any other post of yours, because it captures a larger world perspective. Not just ideas based on smaller sub-themes of women and game. I know that deep beneath those smaller sub-themes are more fundamental philosophies, but sometimes I think for me, and everyone else who reads your blog, these more fundamental world views can easily go unseen or over the head. We often forget that the hidden reality is stronger than the visible.
Sometimes reading your posts, I start to kick myself: “Why the fuck didn’t I do this?” “Yep. Fucked up there. Fucking idiot.” It is a learning experience and I definitely value it at that. But at the same time, I know of course you or nobody else can change my brain chemistry, but reading some of it can stir up some negative obsessive thoughts. Example: Girlfriend breaks up with me, I read from your blog that it was a result of low attraction (I’m not arguing it isn’t). But that can drive unhealthy thoughts: (Seeing myself as an “idiot”, looking down on myself, not seeing myself as attractive, etc.) I tend to throw these thoughts on my shoulders, and it weighs me down. I realize its my obsessive thinking that is the demon here, not what you say. Most of your stuff clicks amazingly with me and I would be interested to see your thoughts on dealing with obsessive thinking, even though I think this post itself (and other posts too) already address this.
When you capture this larger perspective of life, it effectively clears away those obsessive, self-destructive thoughts, and switches the brain on in a better, more productive, self enlightening mode, turning on the reality switch. Realizing the shit that truly matters. And it teaches you how to accept that even when you lose something that truly matters to you, you can always find a deeper and deeper core inside, no matter what it is you lose.
Thanks for not just being an online “lord and savior” but for being an inspiring philosopher.
Shark, I have a question and since you have such a grasp on the dynamics of life, I would like for to explain what it means. Been dating a girl for almost a year. We broke up because I yelled the shit out of her. I should of kept composure. Well she starts the good ol’ let me put up pics on Facebook to make me jealous, not gotten a reaction or even a word about from me about it. I see what she is doing, but women will always throw something in there to mind fuck you. One of the nights, she left a heart pendant i gave her as a gift. At work she comes up to me and asks, “can I have my pendant back, unless you don’t want me to have it,”. What does this mean?
To tell u a little about my self, I am a natural Alpha hidden behind a veil of anxiety. I have always noticed everything that comes naturally to an Alpha, the Halo Effect, the consant admiration from women, from teenagers to old farts, the uncallednfor respect, the discomfort u cause other betas to feel with your presence but was unable to put it together tilll I found your website. It has always been a part of me. One thing that’s stops my full potential is over-analyzing everything in life. EVERYTHING! Could you give some Shamanic advise on how to stop this habit since it feelsnlikenit is genetically encoded in me so I am unable to stop.
Shark, could you do a section specifically on Over-analyzing everything. Since our minds are our very essence, it will create worlds to live in eg. Mindsets, worldviews. Sometimes seeing things rationally still gets drowned out by my “supper accurate analysis of what is going to happen, and worry about it and then see what I was worrying about never happens.” help me get out of this perpetual habit. And do it in your usual mind warping fashion so it can become ingrained in my psyche.
hey shark, my ex told me she cared about me, and reminded her of a ex who killed them self when she was close to them. now we just recently broke up but she said she stilled cared about me but doesnt do anything when she saw me crying a few days ago, can you help me with whats going on?