Challenges

On June 10, 2012 by Shark

The recent lack of posts is due to an updraft in my workload, but a very promising one. The last post was reflective of this, as I feel I’ve been waiting ages for this to finally happen. An old adage comes to mind — perseverance is the most important trait for success. Due to this change, I will also no longer be posting regular replies to comments. The process is simply too big of a time suck, especially because most of the answers are already embedded within the archives. One need only extrapolate the fundamentals taught and apply them to one’s situation.

With these changes, I’ve gained a newfound clarity, and another saying comes to mind — Mo Money, Mo Problems. I take it that a majority of my readers are those in that unique position of in-between where they want to be and where they were, i e; in the process of breaking and rebuilding themselves. And with that, comes a unique set of problems. I am already familiar with them, but I was recently reminded of how hindering they can be.

 

Rejecting Success. Yes, it sounds incredulous, but it happens more often than you think. Because your mind is so accustomed to seeing the world through an unchanging optic, it resists against the slightest tilts, even positive ones. The problem is, because “rejecting success,” sounds so unintuitive, you end up doing it in extremely elusive ways making it all the more difficult to even be aware that you’re doing it. Sometimes when I gain momentum while working, I suddenly want to go on vacation or take a break. Granted it’ll put me behind, I justify it by thinking “I’m making ground, I should take a break before I burn out.” Other times, I might stick to a stratagem that I KNOW will fail, just because I’m used to it. When you’re at the bottom, you need to aggressively push upwards — at all times. When you’re at the top, you need to strategically keep yourself from going down while moving higher up at the right times. I have betrayed my success more than once by adopting an overly obsessive attitude, when I already had what I was chasing.

Some of you are familiar with this in the realm of women. The first time you start applying game and you realize it works; you try and cash out as fast as possible. You quickly move towards exclusivity with the girls that are now available to you, get a security deposit for yourself, and sit back while eroding away into your old beta habits. Sooner or later you backslide too far and you’re back at square 1. What went wrong?

The premise of game is to be confident in your ability to attract women — but you use it to seek security, an essentially unconfident endeavor. Your mind rejects the idea that you can consistently be successful with women, even though your eyes see it. You can’t resist but to see it as a fluke, a pyrrhic victory. You want to take the rewards you’ve gotten thus far and run back to the womb, you can’t imagine the possibility for consistent success.

 
And a second issue that comes to mind, what do girls like me for? The question is more ironic in spirit than anything. You build up a lifestyle and attitude attractive to women, and then you wonder “is this what I want girls to like me for?” But then you must ask yourself, “if not this, what else WOULD they like me for?” We’ve already discussed the problem of ever identifying your true self versus a socially constructed self; the both of them are too intimately connected to distinguish one from the other. But a more practical concern arises from all this postulation, how do you find a girl worth having a meaningful LTR with?

The problem is, once a man on a positive trajectory becomes aware of his secksual market value, it seems inappropriate to deal with almost any woman. A girl in his own range of success comes with too much entitlement; a girl below comes with too much frustration. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve wanted to throw a porcupine at a girl’s face while she’s telling me about her drama ridden problems. Imagine your typical high profile lawyer who charges $800 an hour to his clients, and then imagine what he must be thinking while spending an hour on the phone with his girlfriend because she’s crying about a fight between her and her best friend. You end up cultivating a sense of entitlement for yourself, and one that often frustrates you because you don’t want to deal with petty issues.

So what to do? There’s no way to “solve” this issue. Regardless of where you’re coming from, your time always has value, and is always wasted when you’re conceding to a woman’s need for attention. Hence the real issue is of coming to peace with this tradeoff, and striking a reasonable compromise. If you’re 22 and frustrated in your relationship because it’s a time suck, dump it. If you’re 30 and frustrated but considering marriage, you might be more willing to compromise. Either ways, the goal is to agree with your decision and to pacify your internal resistance. Once you’ve made it clear to yourself “I’m not considering marriage any time soon,” you must be willing to walk away from the relationship. On the other hand, once you’ve decided “I see potential with her, I love her, I’m attracted to her, and her caprice is of tolerable measures,” you must be willing to relinquish your frustration and remind yourself that she is a priority in your life, although never THE priority in your life. Never let yourself be deluded, every relationship is frustrating to a degree. The key is to find one you are willing to tolerate.

 

And a last issue of concern, how do you deal with post-relationship secksual market value? Any guy who regularly games underdogs knows what I’m talking about. When you approach a girl and you’re far and above her own secksual market value, things are easy as the both of you are aware of the discrepancy. God forbid you ever bend the knee, things will change. Once she becomes your girlfriend, a sense of entitlement creeps up and she believes a degree of commitment is required from you regardless of your other priorities. Get married, and this belief multiplies by 10. I once had this exact exchange with a girl:

Me: “You were so laid back before, what happened?”
Her: “Well, now I’m your girlfriend, so I should have more power”

That exact thought process, whether shared audibly or not, goes through every girl’s head when she’s dating an Alpha. Which means, if you’re an Alpha, you have a problem. The thought does not run through beta relationships, as it is implied from the very beginning that the guy must qualify himself to the girl (thus any sacrifice of attention is worth it).

Short of moving to a polygamous nation (which are slowly being infiltrated by The Matrix, so make your move quick if you’re going to make it), I see no solution. Enjoy your moments the best you can I’d say – the Titanic is going down one way or another.

 

obstacles to overcome

 

49 Responses to “Challenges”

  • Necorochi

    “Short of moving to a polygamous nation, I see no solution. Enjoy your moments the best you can I’d say the Titanic is going down one way or another.”

    Wow that last paragraph..

    Basically everyone is going to be having multiple partners like in the book “Brave New World”
    Eventually their will be no such thing as cheating.

    • nemesis

      16) “you were so laid back before, what happened?”

      • nemesis

        17) No, I want to fuck her and cum in her mouth
        18) I want a threesome with you and her, accept or leave

        • Chris

          I saw your comments from

          http://www.solvemygirlproblems.com/2012/06/a-promise/

          And you have the write idea, but your being a little to overt especially with

          “17) No, I want to fuck her and cum in her mouth
          18) I want a threesome with you and her, accept or leave”

          Could work with a really slutty personality but I doubt it still because if a girl saying

          “Promice me you will stop talking to her”

          Is the romantic/eww what a pervert type girl so saying anything like that is a no no,
          now it should not matter you saying anything like that but in this case why make things harder for yourself

          “You were so laid back before, what happened?”

          Would be ideal.

        • Necorochi

          “You were so laid back before, what happened?”

          Good idea

  • DungBeetleJake

    The last post did sound like a pep talk summation….all the best Shark!

  • M

    yeah, this is a needed post.

    those of you who are like me, so you don’t make the same mistake, be willing to put up with the girl if you really do love her, ’cause it’s possible to beta-backslide in the sense that you alpha-overact and become who you never were nor will be, just to test your newfound knowledge.

    i hope one day i can look back and say, at least i learned then what i know today, at least i learned before it was too late

    i realized too, and it was necessary for you to do this – not post for a while – many things, just by my attention which was driven toward seeking some mental masturbatory article from you confirming my life, when really all i was seeking was someone else saying my mistakes were right, and they weren’t, i made them and thats that

    this won’t make sense to anyone, let alone shark, but i wanted to get that it out without writing a book of a comment as i have before

    so many things are coming together now that before were in my periphery, and i hate this fucking period of realizations, as it is and has been before

    but that just it, the “period” ends when i actually decide to get up and move

    so farewell people, i hope i don’t need to come back here again.

  • MT

    Shark,

    A large number of readers would probably agree with me in that your blog has been greatly helpful. However, I wouldn’t say that GIRLS are my biggest issue at the moment, but those ominous figures so few men can truly get a handle on their lives – MOMS. Your knowledge and support has gotten us quite far, but if you could enlighten us on the seemingly incomprehensible challenge of tackling MOMS then that would be tremendously helpful. Especially the really crazy bitchy ones. I feel like a lot of game tactics can be employed in different ways, but it’s a whole new game when you’re living under her roof and she’s calling the shots.

    • MT

      Girls aren’t* my biggest issue

    • hey

      did you mean “I wouldn’t say that GIRLS aren’t my biggest issue at the moment” or “I would say that GIRLS aren’t my biggest issue at the moment”? I’m confused because the latter would make the most sense but you’re insisting on the former.

      As for the answer to your question, it depends (yes, “it depends” can be an answer to any question, but it is truly relevant for yours). A mom can be strict, laid back, bitchy, nice, whatever. Thus, you always have to calibrate your actions to be compatible whatever she happens to be like, and, unlike in pua teachings that teach tricks to use on the average girl, you can’t just leave her like you could any other girl. So my unspecific and unfortunately boring piece of advice would be to just deal with it until you leave the house

      • Mom

        Here’s a personal example of dealing with a crazy [step[mom:

        I borrow her volvo for one night, to be returned the next morning (at a location no more than a mile away from her house). I park it in front of said house before going to bed, and sleep downstairs to make sure it’s safe. I have the keys in my pocket.

        The only other person with a key – is, guess who, my stepmom. I wake up in the morning and look out the window and the car’s still there, so I go back to sleep (This is around 6:30), then around 7 I wake up again to the sound of someone driving up to the house, getting out of a car, getting back into a car, and driving away, thinking nothing of it, I go back to sleep. I wake up shortly thereafter, with 7 missed calls, and about 13 texts, all inquiring about where the volvo is, how it’s been stolen or is missing, etc…I say, I didn’t lose the volvo it’s parked right outside the house. I look, it’s been moved.

        I then am asked to go look for the car that I’ve lost. I say, I’m not going to search for something I didn’t lose, misplace, nor was ever lost in the first place. Why don’t you, with the spare key you used to move the car which has magically vanished into thin air, go back and get the vehicle, and place it back where I originally did.

        After a back and forth for a while, with me not willing to look for something I didn’t lose, I hear a car pull up, parked in the driveway, rather than where I’d left it so I could see it through the window, and hear someone get out, get into another car slam the door, and speed off, clearly upset. End of disagreement. The car I lost is replaced by the one who accused me of losing it, and she had nothing to say to me after that.

        Just stick to your guns, and don’t fall into the traps of the crazy ones, unless your life or value of living under her roof is in question. ‘Cause no doubt the final threat from the high conflict step-mothers are kicking you to the curb, usually after they’ve exhausted all other attempts at getting you to bend to their every will without question.

        • Mom

          Edit 1st sentence: I request to borrow my [step]mom’s Volvo (which was of course paid for by my father) for one day/night, to be returned promptly by the next morning, and she say’s that I may. [thought I should add that I was granted her permission to use it and return it by a certain time (around 10AM the next day); but continue with the story, I think it's funny...and crazy.]

          • Grimsby

            I couldn’t help but crack a smile after reading that. Your balls are fucking HUGE. Much Respect.

  • hey

    “I will also no longer be posting regular replies to comments. The process is simply too big of a time suck”
    which is why i think your readers should stop lurking and help each other (and, indirectly, you as well) out. im willing to bet most of us know how to answer half of the questions that get asked to you, yet most choose to keep quiet for whatever reason

    • I typically try to help others on sites like these, in addition to my blog. I was initially reluctant to help here because the comments are directed specifically at shark, and it seemed more like a close-knit guru-type education than a community of guys learning from each other. But I’m wrong about that, as I see people are willing to just have their problems solved. A forum would definitely be a plus.

  • GN

    Shark,
    I request that you compile all your articles into a book. I would definitely purchase it. Thank you for your excellent works.

  • ANT

    The key point here is not to make a woman THE priority in life. Most of a man’s relationship frustrations are only there in the first place because the idea of a relationship is of too much importance.

    “The person who cares less has the power.”
    and
    “The only way to keep a woman is to not be afraid to lose her.”

    **Important lessons from past posts.

  • Grimsby

    I agree with “hey” – I think many of the “petty issues” that frustrates Shark so much are questions that he receives on this very blog. After all, who wouldn’t be frustrated after writing a three-page article, only to have a reader comment on it with a question that he already answered in the article itself. For FUCKS sake (palm-slap to forehead). And now, thanks to that, he doesn’t want anything to do with us anymore. Or a less dramatic and more obvious possibility – he’s throwing us in the deep end because it’s the most efficient way to learn how to swim.

    My question, therefore, is addressed not only to Shark, but also to his readers.

    After reading through most of the “Answering Comments” pages, there is only one question that somehow, incredibly, Shark has been unable to answer. See below:

    Question from reader:

    “Shark how should an alpha man raise his child?”

    Shark’s response:

    ” To tell you the honest truth, I don’t know to answer this question. The most successful people in the world have often had tumultuous childhoods; but does that mean you should go out of your way to give your children a hard time? Fake your death so your son gets some sort of extraordinary complex that drives him to take over the world? Or should you aim to give your child a balanced life and teach him to conform to the world and all of its demands? I leave the question up to my readers.”

    Here’s my situation: As of now, I am 23 years old, and I make the equivalent of 1000 US dollars per month. For the past two years, I have been dating a 32-year-old single mother, who has a 15-year-old son that is already very attached to me – great kid, has huge potential, and shows remarkable character for his age. Every penny I earn goes to them – groceries, electricity, shoes, clothes, shool fees, and the occasional gift (computer games for the kid, random romantic surprises for the mom).

    However, money is definitely an issue. I’m not blind to the “provider chump” hole that I’ve dug for myself (the mother absolutely REFUSES to work), and realizing this has caused me to nurture a burning ambition and an independent spirit. About a year ago, I came up with a business idea. After some thorough research about its practical implementation, I began working on it in the form of a personal project that I believe is going to make me rich and successful. Needless to say, I became less available for the mother (and the kid), and currently my relationship with her is strained. After several fights and arguments with her (trust me, women do NOT function rationally), it’s very clear to me that I’m gonna have to end it sometime soon (the relationship, that is). The reason why this bothers me is not because of Oneitis. I am not worried about myself. I am not worried about the mother. What I’m worried about is the kid.

    At a very young age, this kid had to watch helplessly as his father beat the shit out of his mother. The father currently offers no financial assistance, so the kid and his mother currently reside in his grandmother’s tiny home. He attends a school that is less than ideal (because I can’t afford anything better at this stage), where he has had to endure intimidation, fights, and theft of his possessions. Not surprisingly, this has had an effect on his grades.

    Despite having stated repeatedly that he has a soft spot for children, Shark has neglected to discuss the role that children play in a relationship. He always preaches that guys opt for monogamy out of fear, desperation, and a need for security. But not even once has he mentioned that the need for security actually appeals to a very basic instinct – protecting your offspring.

    Some of the most serious social problems today are a direct result of unstable childhoods. Gangs, drugs, and violence are only the most obvious examples. I remember a comment on this blog where someone described a particular example of a childhood characterized by an absent father and a hopelessly dependent mother. The most common result of this is a child who goes through life jumping to other people’s needs the way he jumped to the needs of his mother.

    Even if I end the relationship with the mother, I plan on still being there for the kid. My main concern is that he graduates from school, so I need to motivate him to do that. Like all teenagers, he is susceptible to the trap of becoming lazy, unmotivated, and depressed because of his external problems – and I feel that he is falling into this trap.

    Believe it or not, the first thing I’m gonna do to help him out, is tell him about this blog. I’ve already started giving him print-outs of some of the articles that I feel relate to him more specifically. It’s definitely a good start, but you and I both know it isn’t enough.

    If anyone is in a similar situation, has experienced it before, or can offer any sort of advice to my question, it would not only make me extremely grateful, but it would also make Shark extremely proud. Let’s show him that all of his articles, all of his advice, and all of his inspiration, had not been in vain!

    • Necorochi

      “Shark how should an alpha man raise his child?”

      Interesting, In my opinion you teach him all the alpha traits from a young age, how to treat women, how to carry yourself etc but you giving him the print-out’s was a good start. I would say teach him personally so their’s no chance his mom find’s the articles which it shouldn’t matter but sometimes it dose.

      • Chris

        Agreed, that’s what I plan on doing with my son if I have one.

        • Grimsby

          Hey Necorochi, yes I definately plan on keeping it a secret from the mom. But actually, the articles that I’ve printed out are mostly the “Life Problems” articles as opposed to the actual “Girl Problems” articles, so I don’t think the mom would flip out if she found out. After all, I’m trying to focus more on self-development and self-improvement, which she won’t disapprove of. The funny thing is, the kid actually DOES have a girlfriend. But I am going to give him articles of how to behave in an exclusive relationship, because let’s face it, EVERY SINGLE GUY out there is susceptible to Oneitis, and I’m gonna prevent that from happening to him.

          But the biggest thing I’m worried about is that he is emotionally unstable. He is allowing his past to get to him. He absolutely HATES his father’s guts, and he’s told me before that he wants to kill the guy. He’s got great energy, but it’s being sent in the wrong direction.

          • Necorochi

            My advice would be to teach him to just LET GO of the whole father thing, he has YOU, getting emotional about it will not help.

            http://www.solvemygirlproblems.com/2012/02/let-go/

            Remember Alpha’s don’t let anything phase them.

            Keep me updated I will help as much as I can.

          • Grimsby

            Hey Necorochi, this is a reply to your comment immediately below (for some reason I can’t reply to it? Weird).

            Thanks for your link to the “Let Go” article. It’s a choice piece, I am definately going to print it out.

            I think you are right in your approach. The best thing would be to sit down and, well, basically just teach him. I will have discussions with him about the articles, asking him whether or not it makes sense to him, what his thoughts are, and at the same time how he feels it relates to his own situation. It could get messy, but I’m ready for it. It’s time for those demons to come out of him. It’s time for him to burn away the past and become reborn from the ashes. It’s time for an Alpha male excorcism.

            Thanks for your help so far, I will definately keep you updated.

          • Grimsby

            Correction: I see that my reply DID end up beneath your comment after all. My mistake!

          • M

            Hey, as a 23 year old I really really respect you and everything, or what little of what you’ve written that I’ve read.

            I’m almost 24 and I may as well be 16. I’ve let many of what you fear for your son happen to me and ruin me. Well, I don’t know, I actualy brielfy skimmed over what you wrote.

            But, you’re 23, and you’re with a 32 year old. It’s not your job to be a father yet, be more like a brother and I think yo’ull do heaps of good.

            I may be way off point because I didn’t read your post really, but that’s my advice. Be his brother, not his father. ‘Cause, you aren’t his father. Ya know?

          • Grimsby

            Hey M,

            Your comment makes perfect sense to me. It was never my intention to be his “father”, per se (after all, the term really only makes sense biologically), but of course, when you start buying a kid stuff and taking care of him, that effectively turns you into his guardian. I guess I just wanted to let him know that I do care about him, and I’m not just some guy who’s screwing his mom.

            Let me put it this way, I want to be there for him the same way that Shark is here for us. I believe that with the right knowledge, every young man should be able to manage on his own. I will give him as much guidance and advice as he needs, but after that, it’s up to him to apply it to his own life.

            You said it yourself in an earlier comment: If only you knew then what you know now. Well, I’m gonna make sure he knows it NOW, so he’ll never have a “then” that he’ll regret.

            Based on what I’ve gathered from your comments, here is my advice to you: Live in the now! Detach yourself from your past. Don’t think of yourself as a 16-year-old, and don’t dwell on your mistakes. That part of you is dead. It died the minute that you stumbled upon this website. Be happy that you are alive, and prove it by trying something new everyday.

            I thank you for your help, and wish you the best luck on your own journey.

  • kenny

    Just finished reading your book. Nine hours of pure enlightenment. Very entertaining and educational. The Black Flag answered all of my questions. Coming from one of your readers this might not mean much, but I’m very glad you didn’t get married and created this blog. You’re helping so many guys become true men. The world is a better place with you spreading your knowledge and inspiring the next generation. You put hope in each confused souls heart, for a better present. Balls of steel that sway back and forth like a wrecking ball and a sauve smooth as fuck james bond influenced deminiar can be lead to massive amounts of punanie. For this I thank you.

  • Charles

    Question!!!!!

    I read the book helter skelter after seeing a charles manson documentary. I find what Manson did, extraordinary.

    How could such a physically small man be taken seriously?

    Could any man get pretty young girls to go out and kill for him?

    Would a man just need to follow Dale Carnegie’s advice in “How to win friends and influence people”?

    I want to have that level of devotion, but don’t know how to get it.

    What do you fellow readers and the great white think?

    (a little background on me is i’m a 20 year old man and i have no problems attracting women and getting them obsessed with me, they just do it all on their own. I just am mostly curious about other peoples thoughts on the subject.)

    P.S. How hard is it to get a woman to hook(prostitute)???

    • Grimsby

      Persuasion is a skill that goes hand-in-hand with your speaking ability. To succeed in convincing a person of anything will all depend on what you say and how you say it. Think of someone like Adolf Hitler. Simply by using his voice (and a god-like stage presence) he was able to convince an entire COUNTRY to do whatever he asked. Now if he was able to do THAT, then it is definitely possible to convince a few chicks to have sex for money.

      Rapport plays a big role. People will be more willing to do your bidding if you’ve gained their trust. The fact that women easily become obsessed with you is already a BIG advantage. So since you’ve already got them in the palm of your hand, what is your next step? Well, basically it’s something I like to call MIND-FUCKING. What I mean by this is that you simply need to confuse them. You need to make them question their views, their opinions, and their morals. But it is a very subtle art, so be careful not to come on too strong.

      And finally, the death strike to any lingering resistance. There must be something in it FOR THEM. Or you must have something that they want, and in order for them to get it, they must comply with your demands. As a last resort, you must PUNISH them if they still do not comply.

      For example, while having small-talk with one of your soon-to-be-employees, casually introduce prostitution into the conversation as a topic. Don’t push too aggressively at first, rather just make jokes about it, remarking how prostitutes have it easy and make loads of cash by exploiting a basic human need. If she responds negatively, compare it to something less taboo, such as a barber cutting someone’s hair, which ALSO exploits a basic human need. The trick here to start planting the seed of doubt into her mind, making her wonder: Is prostitution really that bad?

      Over the course of the next few days, start talking about it more. THINK about the responses she might give BEFOREHAND, and plan your rebuttals to them. Best case scenario is when you are able to effectively swap moral views around, making what’s right seem wrong and what’s wrong seem right. And finally, offer her something in the deal as well – tell her how rich she could become, and promise your ever-lasting devotion to her if she complies. If she still refuses, “punish” her by telling her that you don’t love her anymore.

      That is how persuasion works.

    • Necorochi

      That is a great question, but if any of us readers here knew how to get that level of devotion we wouldn’t be here. I personally think it was something to do with a psychological aspect.

      For example, he probably gave them a reason to do what they did, making them feel bad if they didn’t, like it was their obligation to do so, almost like terrorist convincing a solider to become a suicide bomber, fake promises of an afterlife with virgins.

      If you can come up with a story that they believe you can make them rationalize doing it. This is just my theory.

      • Grimsby

        Charles, please don’t hesitate to tell us of your progress – I would love to know how it goes!

        Necorochi, I agree with you 100% on the psychlogical aspect. I see persuasion as a sequence: Building trust, sowing confusion, rewarding, and punishing (in that order).

        1.) Having someone’s trust will make them more likely to listen to you.

        2.) Making them question their own moral views will allow you to change their opinions – in order to “corrupt” a person’s mind, you must first remove the notion of what is corrupt in the first place.

        3.) Promising things like money, power, fame (or even more abstract things like love, respect, honor) can be intoxicating to people if you do it right. I think it’s interesting how you suggested coming up with a story and making them believe it. Amazingly, history has proved that this can actually work – I mean damn, the story doesn’t even have to be true!

        4.) Lastly, be able to punish them in some way if they don’t comply.

        • Chris

          Wow, seeing how both Grimsby and Necorochi both had Identical ideas was creepy but at the same time it makes you think they are write.
          Good analysis.

  • Africa

    Yo shark i know you won’t be replying to post anytime soon but IS JOINING A FRATERNITY IN YOUR SCHOOL a good way to establish social proof or alphas don’t need such thing to build their own social proof. I am a new student at my college which is not really social and half of the school is like asians and i am black so its hard to get conected with them although i met some cool people. Just an answer will really help i did went through older post but couldn’t find anything related to it. I appreciate it.

    • Necorochi

      Join the most notorious fraternity you can find ones with really outgoing people in them.

      P.S. you might have to do some crazy ass shit.

      • Grimsby

        Well the alpha male is always the exception to the rule, so if your school is not very social and full of Asians (I guess stereotypes really do exist for a reason), then perhaps you should respond by being the most fun guy on campus. Friendly to everyone, fun to be around, and fun to talk to. All those cute Korean girls are probably bored to DEATH by the guys at your school.

        To Necorochi: Interestingly, I just responded to someone’s comment further down the page on whether or not doing crazy shit in high school will make him an Alpha. I replied by telling him “no”, because I had the jock stereotype in mind, and since the Alpha must be the exception to the rule, he CANNOT belong to any stereotype. Furthermore, doing crazy shit makes it look like you’re looking for attention or approval from people around you.

        But in your case, Africa, I think that being the crazy dude might not be such a bad idea. However, don’t milk it. Don’t make it look like you’re trying to get attention, because then you’ll come across as annoying. Just make it known to everyone that you’re not scared of ANYTHING, but at the same time, you’re not the class clown either. If anyone ASKS you to do something crazy, the answer is always “no” – you are not their source of entertainment. Then, every once in a while, surprise EVERYONE by doing some completely random crazy shit. If they ask you why, the answer is always: “Because I felt like it.”

  • hey,Shark
    In high school dont U wana act like a maniac a crazyass…stick ur tongue out of the car etc unlike James Bond I mean Sud we do dat Is dat considered Alpha???and it decreases Ur repo man n dats gud just FYI..n list a few song U really love kinda inspiring..keep up Ur Gud Work dude

    • Grimsby

      No. Guys who do crazy shit, especially in high school, are doing it to seek attention and approval from the people around them. It is beta behavior, because it shows insecurity and fear of being rejected.

      Find a subject, school activity, or sport that you like and become the BEST at it. That is the easiest way to become Alpha in a high school environment.

  • John

    @GN, he has a book, its called the black flag, and if you go to the top of the page and click ‘the black flag’ you’ll find a link to purchase it. It’s extremely enlightening, trust me.

    Who do you reckons gonna win the NBA finals Shark?

  • bulgariBLACK

    Buy The Black Flag, Shark’s book.

  • Templar

    Honestly I’ve been thinking what Shark said in this post for awhile: many of these people’s problems can be solved if they just read his older posts. The answers to many of your questions are all there. Go back and read the articles, they’re even split into categories if you’re searching for something specific. I know it probably frustrates Shark to post an article and then have a bunch of people ask questions totally unrelated, especially when the answers are there in previous articles. So if your relatively new here I suggest you read every post on this site. Every single one. I can almost guarantee you’ll find the answers to many of your questions.

  • Anonymous

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Xak94SF4Kw&feature=related
    Young girls identifying social proof already. Possible future discussion.

  • Bauer

    any help would be appreciated.

    i’m currently spending a lot of time with this girl, not in a relationship though. Before she left for a family wedding for a couple days down south she asked me “how you going to cope without sex for 5 days? you could go get some tonight when you go out?”.
    I’m not very good at spotting shit tests but i’m sure this might be one! unfortunately my responses was beta 101 “i only want to have sex with you” as soon as these words left my mouth i knew i fucked up, i feel like the power balance has been tipped in her favour, how do i recover?

  • Grimsby

    Well I don’t know who this girl is, but I do know one thing – she really knows how to shit test! The one that she gave you is like a fucking beta DEATH TRAP. Be more careful in future.

    What makes this shit test so genius is how cleverly it’s been disguised. Nearly EVERY response you give to it will be wrong. If you respond in the way you did, by saying “I only want you”, then you come off as a beta. If you say “no, I’ll be able to cope without sex for 5 days”, that is a less beta response but it’s also FAR from alpha because it makes you look like you can get sex ONLY from her, and therefore desperate. And worst of all, if you try going the other way by saying “yeah, I think I WILL go out and get some Va-jay-jay”, then you play directly into her hand. She’s still the one with the power because she suggested it in the FIRST place, so that means that you’re agreeing with her. And you should NEVER agree with a girl EVER.

    What I would’ve done is to disagree with her by saying: “You think I need to go out to get some action? Half the contacts on my phone are chicks, dummy.”

    But don’t stress, it’s definately possible to recover. You say she’s already been gone for a few days, which means that she’ll be back soon. I HOPE YOU DIDN’T CALL HER WHILE SHE WAS AWAY BECAUSE THEN YOU’RE FUCKED. If you haven’t called her yet, then KEEP it that way. Even on the day when she’s supposed to be back, DO NOT CALL HER. For the love of God, DON’T DO IT. She MUST call you first. So what do you do in the meantime? Hang out with your friends as much as possible, and if you’ve got lady friends then that’s even better. The key is to be SOCIAL. When your girl finally calls you and asks what’s up and what you’re up to, you need to be able to say: “Oh hey, I’m just playing poker with some friends” or whatever. If you tell her that you’ve “just been chilling at home,” then she will KNOW that you’ve been WAITING for her to come back.

    And worst case scenario: If YOU’RE the one who called her first, there’s no other choice: Go no contact. Completely cut her off and become preoccupied with something else, whether it’s your friends, hobby, career, or another girl.

    Good luck.

  • Mort G

    My question for you regards the “Omega Male” and his ability to ever become an Alpha male.

    You constantly talk about Beta males ascending to Alpha male status, but do you think it is possible for a true Omega male to be anything more than that? A man who doesn’t even have the capabilty of being befriended by women, is ignored almost at first sight by every woman – how does this type of man ever change?

    Can you offer any insight on the “omega male”? You mention it sometimes, but never go into real depth about this man whos e status is lower than that of even the lowest Beta.

    Thanks Shark!

  • M

    “And Patroclus shouted loudly to them all: ‘Myrmidons, warriors of Achilles, be men, my friends, and fill your minds with furious courage, so we may win glory for the son of Peleus, greatest of the Argives beside the ships, and for his men who fight at close quarters, the pick of the army; and so the son of Atreus, imperial Agamemnon, may acknowledge his great blindness in failing to honour the best of all the Greeks.’

    – THE ILIAD Bk XVI

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